Hi all...I've missed everyone...I do pop in to read when I get a chance and try to post on the gratitude thread but work's been extremely busy, which is a blessing but it cuts into my time on here as I've been working through my lunches lately.....
So, life has been happening and last week I found myself restless, irritable and discontent. I've been worrying about finances and lack of money due to the construction slow down ( if that's what you want to call it, I call it construction stopped) and my husband being laid off for quite awhile now due to lack of work and with the rising prices on everything, we find ourselves scraping to survive from paycheck to paycheck. I knew my spiritual side was getting sick when I am sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and all that's going through my head is taking everyone elses inventory.....Then, on Tuesday, I heard (thank God I was willing enough to have 1 ear open at least) somebody share how they trudged through difficult times, how they kept praying, even when they didn't want to, how they kept going to meetings even when they really didn't want to be there and how they read Step 3 and Step 10 from the 12x12 every day for 30 days and it hit me. I was starting to live in tomorrow and next week and forgetting about living in today, I was trying to "manage" everything again when in fact, all I can do is what is right in front of me today and leave the results up to my HP, God. I do not want to return to living in Fear and after spending a week in fear, I've finally, by using the tools I have been given from the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, from the tools shared with me from my friends in recovery and all of you that share openly & honestly, I'm starting to enjoy peace in this day.
Life is a lesson and today I have come to believe that I am exactly where I need to be and by walking through the difficult times, I gain courage to meet anything that is put in front of me as long as I let God go first.
So, how do you guys deal with life when challenging times occur or when you get that "restless, discontent" feeling come up?
Smooches,
Stacey
Hi, 24G.
I was talking about 'anxiety' last week, when someone brought it up. I've heard about people making 'gratitude lists' or getting outside themselves in service, or recommitting themselves to step work, and so on. I'm new to sobriety, so EVERYTHING is something I can work on. When I am R.I.D., though, I don't WANT to friggin' work on crap! There are SOME days where I just want to flush my head of all the 'stuff' and zone. There are days that I AM squirrely and I KNOW where to go to get straight. I have to talk to another person in recovery--and a bunch of them if possible!
In my early recovery I came here to ask advice. Genuinely ask--not seek attention--for someone who's done this to tell me because all my tools were DULL and never did work on the problems. I've since been given a set of spiritual things I can apply, and not the least of which is FAITH and COURAGE.
Someone once said, "Courage is Faith with teeth." That works for me alot, because the image of meekness and faith was always a problem for me. I also have to look over my Spiritual Principles and see if I can apply them to my situation--or if I WANT to apply them. I now have options, though, which don't include drinking or any other addiction.
There are times, too, when I just need to take a day off from my quest. So I go to a meeting, listen, and that's enough sometimes. If the committee is on vacation, I don't go looking for it, know what I mean? Sometimes just shuffling along, keeping my eye on MY shoes and not on everybody elses, I get through the day. And I thank MY Higher Power. And I know "First Things First," and "This too, Shall Pass."
Hope this finds you well--good to "see" you again.
SKG
I was talking about 'anxiety' last week, when someone brought it up. I've heard about people making 'gratitude lists' or getting outside themselves in service, or recommitting themselves to step work, and so on. I'm new to sobriety, so EVERYTHING is something I can work on. When I am R.I.D., though, I don't WANT to friggin' work on crap! There are SOME days where I just want to flush my head of all the 'stuff' and zone. There are days that I AM squirrely and I KNOW where to go to get straight. I have to talk to another person in recovery--and a bunch of them if possible!
In my early recovery I came here to ask advice. Genuinely ask--not seek attention--for someone who's done this to tell me because all my tools were DULL and never did work on the problems. I've since been given a set of spiritual things I can apply, and not the least of which is FAITH and COURAGE.
Someone once said, "Courage is Faith with teeth." That works for me alot, because the image of meekness and faith was always a problem for me. I also have to look over my Spiritual Principles and see if I can apply them to my situation--or if I WANT to apply them. I now have options, though, which don't include drinking or any other addiction.
There are times, too, when I just need to take a day off from my quest. So I go to a meeting, listen, and that's enough sometimes. If the committee is on vacation, I don't go looking for it, know what I mean? Sometimes just shuffling along, keeping my eye on MY shoes and not on everybody elses, I get through the day. And I thank MY Higher Power. And I know "First Things First," and "This too, Shall Pass."
Hope this finds you well--good to "see" you again.
SKG
Stacey, that's a great post. It probably sounds strange but for someone who's only just getting a glmmer of understanding about myself it's really encouraging to hear someone who is so obviously doing so well say that they sometimes lose a little focus.....your obvious good health and progress is an inspiration but your being human makes it possible to believe I can get the hang of this thing....not just sobriety but living this life that seems at times to be on offer to me if only I can keep that door to awareness open. So thank you so much for posting that.
All I can so is what you and others have told me to do...lol....
Zac's phrase "gratitude is the attitude" works a miracle for me every time I remember it...and every time I remember it I kick myself for having forgotten it! As soon as I focus on the smallest thing around me I can see beauty in it and poetry and immediately become SO grateful for this gift of life. I didn't do anything to earn it, I don't have to have a qualification or be clever or skilled or wise or patient or good or ANYTHING except aware of the fact that someone gave me a FREE TICKET to LIFE and it is glorious! and I find myself smiling from ear to ear....
Everything boils down to that in the end I think....and thinking about it my 14 year old son went camping with his mum last week and I sent him a text asking him if he was having a good time....he sent back - "not really dad, but I think I've discovered the meaning of life" (I knew he was serious, bless him). "Oh really", I texted back, "what is it then son?" He replied "To be aware of what's around me and appreciate everything I have".....I swear I hadn't got around to saying that to him yet!.....It made me so happy, cos he's gonna need that attitude in the months and years to come, poor thing.......ah well, I have asked for and SO I have been granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference....a mantra I still chant at times....and "this too shall pass"....
But Zac's phrase is the key to my personal magical kingdom, anytime I want to opent he door I've been so blessed to have been shown.
Great to hear how you dealt with it, it must be wonderful to know that whenever, if ever you feel you're losing focus in the future, your HP is going to tap you on the shoulder like that and YOU LISTENED....that must mean you are becoming safer and safer in your recovery, so you're certainly doing something right and I admire you for it.
All I can so is what you and others have told me to do...lol....
Zac's phrase "gratitude is the attitude" works a miracle for me every time I remember it...and every time I remember it I kick myself for having forgotten it! As soon as I focus on the smallest thing around me I can see beauty in it and poetry and immediately become SO grateful for this gift of life. I didn't do anything to earn it, I don't have to have a qualification or be clever or skilled or wise or patient or good or ANYTHING except aware of the fact that someone gave me a FREE TICKET to LIFE and it is glorious! and I find myself smiling from ear to ear....
Everything boils down to that in the end I think....and thinking about it my 14 year old son went camping with his mum last week and I sent him a text asking him if he was having a good time....he sent back - "not really dad, but I think I've discovered the meaning of life" (I knew he was serious, bless him). "Oh really", I texted back, "what is it then son?" He replied "To be aware of what's around me and appreciate everything I have".....I swear I hadn't got around to saying that to him yet!.....It made me so happy, cos he's gonna need that attitude in the months and years to come, poor thing.......ah well, I have asked for and SO I have been granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference....a mantra I still chant at times....and "this too shall pass"....
But Zac's phrase is the key to my personal magical kingdom, anytime I want to opent he door I've been so blessed to have been shown.
Great to hear how you dealt with it, it must be wonderful to know that whenever, if ever you feel you're losing focus in the future, your HP is going to tap you on the shoulder like that and YOU LISTENED....that must mean you are becoming safer and safer in your recovery, so you're certainly doing something right and I admire you for it.
Skg,
I don't know if this falls under the label of taking your inventory or not and so I hope it's ok cos I know what anyone else thinks of you is none of your business ;)....but I really hear something coming through your posts recently, a sort of groundedness and weight that I admire and would like to learn/earn.
Best,
Martin
I don't know if this falls under the label of taking your inventory or not and so I hope it's ok cos I know what anyone else thinks of you is none of your business ;)....but I really hear something coming through your posts recently, a sort of groundedness and weight that I admire and would like to learn/earn.
Best,
Martin
I would post happiness and roses but am feeling a little restless, irritable (very) and discontent myself, BFF. Tomorrow will be better.
smoochies
smoochies
Thanks for the replies SKG & Martin....I do so love this board & the fellowship we've got around this place....I am truly grateful to have found this place so many 24hrs ago....
I'll be here tomorrow BFF and you don't have to bring roses or happiness cause I love you exactly how you are and who you are....(and I know how much you cringe at mushy...lol)
xoxo
Stacey
I'll be here tomorrow BFF and you don't have to bring roses or happiness cause I love you exactly how you are and who you are....(and I know how much you cringe at mushy...lol)
xoxo
Stacey
Martin, just remember that the number of sober days a person has under his/her belt doesn't correlate with the human experience...we all are participants in this thing called life. Midtimers and oldtimers still deal with life issues, emotions, struggles. Remember, we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.
Gidday Stacey
I can turn a lot of events or things that happen in my life into challenges and the type of challenge i turn them into depends on if i think of them positively or negatively and when things are happening to me or people around me if i am scared or negative then i have to look at my fears and see why they are being released....later on in life and with hindsight a lot of steps backwards can be seen as actually a huge jump forward in my life
light and love zac
I can turn a lot of events or things that happen in my life into challenges and the type of challenge i turn them into depends on if i think of them positively or negatively and when things are happening to me or people around me if i am scared or negative then i have to look at my fears and see why they are being released....later on in life and with hindsight a lot of steps backwards can be seen as actually a huge jump forward in my life
light and love zac
Well--
I have gained a few pounds...
I've come to believe that if I'm not growing, I'm dying. For me, every day is a new day, a clean slate. While this is good when things suck sometimes, its true also of the good days. I'm an alcoholic, and it can ALL change with one single drink. I need to remember that, and so I have to practice my recovery over and over. NOT to do so is to start slipping, and when I let off MY program, I start getting sideways with life--and the Ts and Cs of it.
So it really is One Day At A Time for me. I'm coming to grips with the magnitude of that, and the freedom of it, too.
Anyway, it's important for me to learn to be grateful or my Pride starts to become great full...
peaceness.
I have gained a few pounds...
I've come to believe that if I'm not growing, I'm dying. For me, every day is a new day, a clean slate. While this is good when things suck sometimes, its true also of the good days. I'm an alcoholic, and it can ALL change with one single drink. I need to remember that, and so I have to practice my recovery over and over. NOT to do so is to start slipping, and when I let off MY program, I start getting sideways with life--and the Ts and Cs of it.
So it really is One Day At A Time for me. I'm coming to grips with the magnitude of that, and the freedom of it, too.
Anyway, it's important for me to learn to be grateful or my Pride starts to become great full...
peaceness.
Hi Stacey
Having money worries is a pain. I guess its easy for someone looking on to say things like "make a budget, do what you can and don't worry about the rest". When it was me that had money worries, hearing that from somebody made me want to reach out and pull all their nose hairs out, one by one.
When I was nearing the end of school and at the end of my string financially I used to waste incredible amounts of time worrying and fretting. It was hard to get myself stopped. One thing that could get me stopped was to just go with it, stop doing anything productive and just start imagining the worst. Once I had myself pictured on an island somewhere living in a tent,digging clams and jigging kelp-cod I usually calmed down. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't picture things really getting that bad... In the end what was really bugging me was the uncertainty...
Hope you manage, sending you best wishes, and remember it takes 22 different muscles to pull your face into a frown and only 2 to raise your middle finger.....
one day at a time... Cookster
Having money worries is a pain. I guess its easy for someone looking on to say things like "make a budget, do what you can and don't worry about the rest". When it was me that had money worries, hearing that from somebody made me want to reach out and pull all their nose hairs out, one by one.
When I was nearing the end of school and at the end of my string financially I used to waste incredible amounts of time worrying and fretting. It was hard to get myself stopped. One thing that could get me stopped was to just go with it, stop doing anything productive and just start imagining the worst. Once I had myself pictured on an island somewhere living in a tent,digging clams and jigging kelp-cod I usually calmed down. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't picture things really getting that bad... In the end what was really bugging me was the uncertainty...
Hope you manage, sending you best wishes, and remember it takes 22 different muscles to pull your face into a frown and only 2 to raise your middle finger.....
one day at a time... Cookster
Hey hope you are feeling better by the time you read this. You know we gotta have our moments when things are not so great. How else would we be able to appreciate the good things and to value it.I think it is God's way of giving us a little tap to let us know he is still running the show. It's so easy I think for one to fall back into the negative thinking mode but just remain strong which I know you will. Also keep reading the gifts that you send along to me cause there is a lot in there to learn and use. God bless and take care
Hi Stacey
great thougtful post - sorry you are struggling with those emotions right now.
What works for me is - bringing it right back to the moment.
However, I've also discovered that I can easily swing into depressed and negative thoughts and that these thoughts are sort of contagious.
If i have fears like that or negative worries I find it important to stay away from the fear-mongering on TV, the internet, radio etc.
I like to get some quiet, maybe a simple reading and best of all take a few minutes to go and enjoy something beautiful that is free. Go and look in your garden at a single flower and appreciate how incredible it is. Or walk outside and watch the moon come up. I live in a smallish city so we have a good night sky here.
If you go outside and look at the magnificence of the stars for a moment or two all your problems seems suddenly put back in perspective.
that is what I do - mind you sometimes its not always easy to put this stuff into practice and I do plenty of whingeing before I remember what it is I need to do to get my head back in the right space.
great thougtful post - sorry you are struggling with those emotions right now.
What works for me is - bringing it right back to the moment.
However, I've also discovered that I can easily swing into depressed and negative thoughts and that these thoughts are sort of contagious.
If i have fears like that or negative worries I find it important to stay away from the fear-mongering on TV, the internet, radio etc.
I like to get some quiet, maybe a simple reading and best of all take a few minutes to go and enjoy something beautiful that is free. Go and look in your garden at a single flower and appreciate how incredible it is. Or walk outside and watch the moon come up. I live in a smallish city so we have a good night sky here.
If you go outside and look at the magnificence of the stars for a moment or two all your problems seems suddenly put back in perspective.
that is what I do - mind you sometimes its not always easy to put this stuff into practice and I do plenty of whingeing before I remember what it is I need to do to get my head back in the right space.
Hi Stacey,
No one expects you to be perfect. Though I must say some people shine more genuinely than others. You've been working a solid recovery program and so willingly have given it back to others. I prayed for you and B this morning twice and I will keep at it. That consistent work will be coming to your husband with a company that will value his skills and talents soon. That your hands and wrists will be free of pain. That surgery won't have to be an option, but if it is, it will be effective and lasting.
Picture a little child at her birthday party so happy seeing all her presents, so happy that she is well loved and cared for. Not fearing for any of her needs. She is a secure little girl. She knows that her parents will provide and take care of all her needs.
This is you Stacey in the arms of God. Go climb on his lap and be reassured that all your needs will be provided for. For you are his most beautiful little girl and he loves you more than the the little flowers and the birds. Find your child like faith as it will be your confirmation that all will work out. Turn your fears and doubts, that we all have at times in life over to God. Turn your worries and fears into prayers and thankfulness, knowing that he is God and knowing who you are to him.
Love,
Chris xxx :-)
No one expects you to be perfect. Though I must say some people shine more genuinely than others. You've been working a solid recovery program and so willingly have given it back to others. I prayed for you and B this morning twice and I will keep at it. That consistent work will be coming to your husband with a company that will value his skills and talents soon. That your hands and wrists will be free of pain. That surgery won't have to be an option, but if it is, it will be effective and lasting.
Picture a little child at her birthday party so happy seeing all her presents, so happy that she is well loved and cared for. Not fearing for any of her needs. She is a secure little girl. She knows that her parents will provide and take care of all her needs.
This is you Stacey in the arms of God. Go climb on his lap and be reassured that all your needs will be provided for. For you are his most beautiful little girl and he loves you more than the the little flowers and the birds. Find your child like faith as it will be your confirmation that all will work out. Turn your fears and doubts, that we all have at times in life over to God. Turn your worries and fears into prayers and thankfulness, knowing that he is God and knowing who you are to him.
Love,
Chris xxx :-)
OK, BFF, here's some happiness and roses for you today. I have learned that if I am restless, irritable and discontent if I go to a meeting, do some service, help someone, I usually feel better. You know this house crap has me down. Yesterday I chaired at my home group and believe me, when I got there I was grumpier than hell. Meetings have a way of making me feel a lot better. It's hard for me to feel bad when people are talking about the miracles happening in their lives. My favorite is when I come to the community meeting here at work and listen to the people that I have watched come in out of treatment and see the changes in them Wow! What miracles I get to see!
Other times I just have to go thru the RID feelings. Nine times out of ten they are gone in the morning. It took me a while to realize that "this too shall pass" but it really is true. NOTHING stays the same or we are dead. Bad will change to good and good will change to bad but it all changes in one way or another.
So get your butt to a meeting and help someone. Attitude of gratitude, baby!
smooches
Other times I just have to go thru the RID feelings. Nine times out of ten they are gone in the morning. It took me a while to realize that "this too shall pass" but it really is true. NOTHING stays the same or we are dead. Bad will change to good and good will change to bad but it all changes in one way or another.
So get your butt to a meeting and help someone. Attitude of gratitude, baby!
smooches
