Hi Ruby, I've been thinking of you and hoping that you had a good Christmas. How was Christmas Eve and Christmas Day without pot? I'm hoping that it was more pleasant than you had anticipated.....We're back to the same old situation here. If I smoke, D wants to smoke. I'm taking it out to the garage at the moment. We had 6 days off together. I know I would have gotten angry with him on several occasions if I hadn't had my "crutch" to lean on. Some days it doesn't take much. He criticized my sister's parenting skills and I was mad at him about that yesterday. We managed to enjoy our Christmas Eve and Christmas day together. We had the family over for pot roast and it was good. I know that I face quitting again once my stash is gone. I will have to deal with my anger issues then. For now I'm just cruising and trying to get some projects done. I cleaned out my closet yesterday and filed a bunch of paperwork in my office. That feels good, but there are still a few stacks to be organized. I'm doing well with weight watchers and just maintaining my weight. I will try to get more serious now that the feasting is done. Back to work today.... I hope you're doing well. Things could get easier now that you're over the Christmas hurdle.......Hi to WW, jamv, Bryn and others. Happy New Year!
STEP AWAY FROM THE WEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thought I'd lecture ya Rach, and that's about as far as my lecturing can go.
How's it shaking, babes? If you maintained your weight over the holiday's that super great, Rach. Hoping the anger issues come to light. You know I can empathize with that.
My all things therapy works went haywire the other night. Some plain stranger was blocking a display to 75% off all Christmas ornaments. No biggie. A woman maybe my mom's age. I kind of browsed AROUND her and this was at 11:30 at night so it wasn't crowded.
Don't she have this ornament open and asks me if I think her mom would like it because she has one similar she purchased after Christmas in 2004 and her mom admired it only her mom is a b*tch who ruined her Christmas. Yepper, all that in one sentence.
I feigned like I was deaf. Didn't gaze her way. Then she still keeps going. I'd have left except I needed one of them ornaments. I fanegelled my way past her cart. See, I wanted to say "Move your F*c*ing cart and shut up", but I didn't. I'm digging for my ornament and now she says to ME and only ME:
Christmas was horrible. You just couldn't understand. I broke my back to make it nice for my mom and grown daughter and they tortured me and my daughter was drunk like she always is. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I was about to say "Lady no wonder she's drunk. She'd have to be to deal with you". Nope I was silent.
NOW, "Nobody could have as awful a Christmas as I had" she says. STOP THE PRESSES. I FINALLY SPOKE "Did you have a dead man under your Christmas tree? A man who had just retired? A good man who never bothered a soul like you do? HUH? Did your husband or father die in front of you and your children as they opened gifts? Have EMT's crying in your house next to the little dolls and toys? Ohhhhhhhhh, and are you aware a little girl who just got a bike Christmas day was hit by a truck and died? A seven year old girl?"
Crazy a*s lady looks at me and goes "Well, no, but still my mom was mean to me the other day"........................that's when I so got it. Some people don't give a flying whoop bout nobody but themselves. So, I told her to "SHUT THE F UP". Lady "JUST SHUT THE F*C* UP". Plus I never got my ornament.
You hang in there Rach cause at the end of the day you're a good person and a caring person. Ya may be angry, but you care about folks and their mince pies.
Ruby made mince meat pies? Ummmmmmmmm, yummy I think.
Thought I'd lecture ya Rach, and that's about as far as my lecturing can go.
How's it shaking, babes? If you maintained your weight over the holiday's that super great, Rach. Hoping the anger issues come to light. You know I can empathize with that.
My all things therapy works went haywire the other night. Some plain stranger was blocking a display to 75% off all Christmas ornaments. No biggie. A woman maybe my mom's age. I kind of browsed AROUND her and this was at 11:30 at night so it wasn't crowded.
Don't she have this ornament open and asks me if I think her mom would like it because she has one similar she purchased after Christmas in 2004 and her mom admired it only her mom is a b*tch who ruined her Christmas. Yepper, all that in one sentence.
I feigned like I was deaf. Didn't gaze her way. Then she still keeps going. I'd have left except I needed one of them ornaments. I fanegelled my way past her cart. See, I wanted to say "Move your F*c*ing cart and shut up", but I didn't. I'm digging for my ornament and now she says to ME and only ME:
Christmas was horrible. You just couldn't understand. I broke my back to make it nice for my mom and grown daughter and they tortured me and my daughter was drunk like she always is. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I was about to say "Lady no wonder she's drunk. She'd have to be to deal with you". Nope I was silent.
NOW, "Nobody could have as awful a Christmas as I had" she says. STOP THE PRESSES. I FINALLY SPOKE "Did you have a dead man under your Christmas tree? A man who had just retired? A good man who never bothered a soul like you do? HUH? Did your husband or father die in front of you and your children as they opened gifts? Have EMT's crying in your house next to the little dolls and toys? Ohhhhhhhhh, and are you aware a little girl who just got a bike Christmas day was hit by a truck and died? A seven year old girl?"
Crazy a*s lady looks at me and goes "Well, no, but still my mom was mean to me the other day"........................that's when I so got it. Some people don't give a flying whoop bout nobody but themselves. So, I told her to "SHUT THE F UP". Lady "JUST SHUT THE F*C* UP". Plus I never got my ornament.
You hang in there Rach cause at the end of the day you're a good person and a caring person. Ya may be angry, but you care about folks and their mince pies.
Ruby made mince meat pies? Ummmmmmmmm, yummy I think.
Hi folks, I'm back from Christmas hols! Actually I haven't been away from home it is just that I barely get to switch the computer on over Christmas.
Yes indeed anyone who's interested, I made absolutely loads of mince pies and scoffed loads of them myself. I consoled my pot free self on Christmas eve with some mulled wine and mince pies. I don't normally like alcohol but I am partial to a bit of mulled wine at Christmas. I have a nasty feeling that I may be back in weight Watchers this year as the 2 stone I lost at the beginning of 2007 is starting to creep back on. Well, I have had to have some comfort!
The pot cravings have come and gone over Christmas and I have to admit that I did miss my old friend, it is so hard to get over.
Rachael, despite everything you sound like you are doing reasonably well. So you have to start all over again quitting the pot, you will do it!!! Keep hanging in there and the same to everyone else out there trying to quit.
That's all from me for the moment, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Ruby
Yes indeed anyone who's interested, I made absolutely loads of mince pies and scoffed loads of them myself. I consoled my pot free self on Christmas eve with some mulled wine and mince pies. I don't normally like alcohol but I am partial to a bit of mulled wine at Christmas. I have a nasty feeling that I may be back in weight Watchers this year as the 2 stone I lost at the beginning of 2007 is starting to creep back on. Well, I have had to have some comfort!
The pot cravings have come and gone over Christmas and I have to admit that I did miss my old friend, it is so hard to get over.
Rachael, despite everything you sound like you are doing reasonably well. So you have to start all over again quitting the pot, you will do it!!! Keep hanging in there and the same to everyone else out there trying to quit.
That's all from me for the moment, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Ruby
Hi Ruby, Congratulations! I'm glad to hear that you made it over the Christmas hurdle without pot. Don't worry about the weight right now. I'm sure you'll take it off now that the holidays are over. I hope that the cravings will ease a bit too. It sounds like you're having more good days than bad.... I had another challenging time over New Year's. D left an e-mail message to his daughter open and I read it. I know it was wrong of me and I found out more than I really wanted to know. Apparently he's not very happy in the marriage either. When we're at therapy, he says that he has no idea how he feels. But it's clear to me now that he does and he's just not willing to share it with me. I told him that there wasn't much use in continuing in therapy if he wasn't going to bring his issues to the table. We talked about separating and both agreed that we still want to work on the relationship. I love him and I do think that he loves me, it just is not easy....So, once we decided we weren't going to sell the house and go our separate ways, I pushed hard for another New Year's kitten. We got Fiona 2 years ago on New Year's Day and she's been a great cat. We adopted Clive over the weekend. He's grey and white, part Persian. So far he's very sweet and placid. We now have 4 cats. I know that's a lot, but we have plenty of room, a big yard and 2 cat doors.....I am feeling so much better on the new migraine med......Bryn, thanks for you humourous "anger stories." Too bad you didn't get your ornament. I have started a journal to vent when I feel angry. I'll let you know how it goes....Wonder Woman, you're doing great, hang in there. I hope all goes well with you this week. All the best. Rachel23
Ruby&Rach, and Rach&Ruby,
You two rock as a team.
You're both really doing so well in life in general right now.......it's such good news.
Fiona is a beautiful name for your new cat, Rach and loving the journal idea....although, you get made enough you're gonna toss that thing in the direction of something breakable............I mean it I think this fish oil works.
Who knows?.........you write well though so that's cool you're doing that.
Ruby the mulled wine sounds so relaxing.........and hopefully next year you can throw a mince pie in one of our directions.............although we are all scattered aren't we?
Really proud of you both if that matters..........all good things!
You two rock as a team.
You're both really doing so well in life in general right now.......it's such good news.
Fiona is a beautiful name for your new cat, Rach and loving the journal idea....although, you get made enough you're gonna toss that thing in the direction of something breakable............I mean it I think this fish oil works.
Who knows?.........you write well though so that's cool you're doing that.
Ruby the mulled wine sounds so relaxing.........and hopefully next year you can throw a mince pie in one of our directions.............although we are all scattered aren't we?
Really proud of you both if that matters..........all good things!
Hi Rachael, Great to hear from you. Sorry to hear about the troubles that you and your husband are still having, I don't know what to suggest. Things have a way of eventually working themselves out one way or another. Fab news about adopting Clive, well done I hope he gives you lots of happiness as the other cats do.
I am OK although I think I have the post Christmas blues. I feel like sobbing over the last of the Christmas cake, I always hate this time of year! I need to look forward and to think of getting to the beach this coming summer!
I am still struggling with it, still have days where I think that I'm going to get some, always manage not to but never take this for granted...................
Bryn, Thanks for your words of encouragement, they are SO APPRECIATED.
Hang in there guys
Ruby
I am OK although I think I have the post Christmas blues. I feel like sobbing over the last of the Christmas cake, I always hate this time of year! I need to look forward and to think of getting to the beach this coming summer!
I am still struggling with it, still have days where I think that I'm going to get some, always manage not to but never take this for granted...................
Bryn, Thanks for your words of encouragement, they are SO APPRECIATED.
Hang in there guys
Ruby
I found this in my oldie but goody tool box and thought I would share. I have had chronic winter depression. I have a special light I can use....but I haven't had to use it yet this year. This year I am doing well except for not going to sleep until 3 in the morning 3 days in a row (but that's another thread)
This old eighties tune has been in my head since 8:30 this morning. :-)
Stay in the light....keep your target in sight......
So here you go.
make your mental health a priority. take an hour or so to think about what that means for you. if mental health is a big issue for you, you might have to make it priority number one before work, before relationships. definitely before TV, computer use and whatever other escape activities you engage in.
devise a ruse to get yourself outdoors for at least 30 minutes each day, during the daytime.
dont draw the curtains! drawing the curtains, together with the next point, not answering the phone, is perhaps one of the most typical activities of people in depression.it seems like a small thing but doing this helps in many ways. it keeps you connected with the world and with light, on a very physical level. when it feels like you dont have the emotional connection, at least you can have the physical connection.
answer your phone, for the reasons mentioned in 3. and 5.
make sure to interact with people on a daily basis. talk and listen. the isolation that creeps in around depression is similar to the false protection our muscles try to give us after an injury. when youre right in the depression, a lot of the things people say will irritate and bore you.however, if you can tell yourself before it gets too bad that staying connected will ultimately help you, you may not even fall that low, and you might just be able to stand the discomfort of these seemingly irritating interactions.
make sure you have a trusted person from whom you can expect the understanding that you might not be able to get from others at this time. a friend, a spiritual director, a counsellor, a doctor.
if you have a trusted mental health professional, make sure you stay in touch with her or him and do your best to follow any plans youve laid out together. this is probably not the time to experiment.
most importantly, listen to yourself. what does your body need? what does your soul need? again, if you get yourself to train your inner ear now, youll have an easier time picking up on the messages should the numbness of depression set in more fully.
This old eighties tune has been in my head since 8:30 this morning. :-)
Stay in the light....keep your target in sight......
So here you go.
make your mental health a priority. take an hour or so to think about what that means for you. if mental health is a big issue for you, you might have to make it priority number one before work, before relationships. definitely before TV, computer use and whatever other escape activities you engage in.
devise a ruse to get yourself outdoors for at least 30 minutes each day, during the daytime.
dont draw the curtains! drawing the curtains, together with the next point, not answering the phone, is perhaps one of the most typical activities of people in depression.it seems like a small thing but doing this helps in many ways. it keeps you connected with the world and with light, on a very physical level. when it feels like you dont have the emotional connection, at least you can have the physical connection.
answer your phone, for the reasons mentioned in 3. and 5.
make sure to interact with people on a daily basis. talk and listen. the isolation that creeps in around depression is similar to the false protection our muscles try to give us after an injury. when youre right in the depression, a lot of the things people say will irritate and bore you.however, if you can tell yourself before it gets too bad that staying connected will ultimately help you, you may not even fall that low, and you might just be able to stand the discomfort of these seemingly irritating interactions.
make sure you have a trusted person from whom you can expect the understanding that you might not be able to get from others at this time. a friend, a spiritual director, a counsellor, a doctor.
if you have a trusted mental health professional, make sure you stay in touch with her or him and do your best to follow any plans youve laid out together. this is probably not the time to experiment.
most importantly, listen to yourself. what does your body need? what does your soul need? again, if you get yourself to train your inner ear now, youll have an easier time picking up on the messages should the numbness of depression set in more fully.
Happy New Year Rach......I'm looking for a counsellor today that will treat the whole family.....my husband has finally agreed to address his drug problem and my class last night sent me into crisis mode......
freaking out with stress levels at an all-time high motivates me.....
take care....
edit to say:
I need another conversation with my husband before I make this call.
freaking out with stress levels at an all-time high motivates me.....
take care....
edit to say:
I need another conversation with my husband before I make this call.
