In the past week two friends since childhood have lost their dads...this is the part of life that reminds me I'm on the back nine. (My daughter says I'm middle-aged - yeah, if I'm going to live to 100). Anyway, there's the usual round of wakes and funerals and all our lifetime friends are there rallying for the families.
So last week we wait on line to pay our respects and see many friends and former partners in crime there. On our way out in the parking lot we are flagged down by what used to be a funny, good-looking guy...known him since our teens. He wants to know if we're going along when everyone goes to the local pub for a pop to toast the deceased. Mind you we are in the funeral home parking lot and this guy is already drinking something powerful from a coffee travel mug.
I wish I could say I was stunned...I wish I could say I said something to him about the inappropriateness of his behavior...I wish I had thought to say something to someone (a cop?) about the fact that this guy had 35 miles to drive to get home and had a head start on gassing up...
Would it have made any difference? Should I have dropped that dime? I hate this...it's sad...and makes me angry, too.
Deep breaths~MomNMore
| QUOTE |
| I let myself be comforted in knowing that my life is now in the hands of my Higher Power, a master craftsman who is shaping each part of my life into a unique work of art. By working my program I can be satisfied, knowing that in doing the best that we can for today, we are doing all that God asks of us. |
Mom-N-More,
I'm sorry about your loss and your sorrow.
You're not going to make it to 100? The question I have is, "Why in the WORLD would you want to?" The pay-off seems to be fake hips, fake knees, fake arteries, a zipper in the chest, beef jerkey for skin, fingers that don't work, other parts that don't work the way they were designed, and all the fun a raisin in the sun can have! LOL
Just kidding, of course, but I'm learning myself that it's the quality, not the quantity, and dying isn't necessarily the end of the road. It's scary, yep, but it was even worse when I didn't have Hope or Faith. And I'm enjoying the little miracles more, too, and everyday I am absolutely floored at what goes on at my feet and around me when I'm 'tuned in' to My HP. I'd like to suggest that you read the book, "Tuesdays With Morrie," by Mitch Albom if you're a reader. It's the true story of a young man who interviews a dying man (illness) and shares the true meaning of Life and Love as he slowly passes on. It's a life-changer (or was for me, anyway).
As for the parking lot pleasure pal, all I can do is say that I gotta keep my side clean, treat others the way MY Higher Power treats me, and say a little "help them," ditty to the BigGuy, 'cause I'm an alcoholic--I have no business telling others how to live their lives. I can't even manage my OWN, for goodness' sake! Just because I'm sober doesn't mean I'm right. This is working for ME, and I've been asked to help those who ask for help, not shove it into people's faces who don't/won't listen. I have to ask myself, "What Would Love Do?" in those situations. Judging never made ME stop, I don't know about you.
Hailey Osment in, "The Sixth Sense," said, "I see dead people," and I think that when I see sick people, too. That quick thought that's followed by, "But for the Grace of God, there go I." I know from the chapter of the Big Book, "Working With Others," that there are plenty of people who WANT to get sober and are looking for The Solution, so I try not to get too wrapped around the axel on people who aren't interested.
I suppose I get self-righteous at times around Buttmunchers like that, but I quickly make note that I recognize WAY too quickly where that person is--because of my very own experience--and it's a dreadful reminder of where I was. I might slip them a card with my number on it, letting them know that if they ever want to talk, I'll meet them for coffee somewhere. Combined with that a sincere, "I understand How you feel," look into their bloodshot eyes usually gets the message through the fog like a buoy in the night. Maybe not THAT night, but some night...
Again, my condolences on your loss and sorrow. At least you're able to be there for the surviving loved ones left behind. Give them comfort.
Peaceness.
S
Hey, I noticed you're getting pretty smart these days...
You know, I worry about drunks driving around killing people. I know what happens is not my decision and will be determined without my assistance by SOMEONE ELSE...you know who. *sigh* this powerless business irks me sometimes =)
I read "Tuesdays..." many years ago and really enjoyed it, passing it along several times as needed. Thanks skg, for your good thoughts and vibes. And even if I don't want to live to be hundred, most of my female relatives have - on both sides, yeesh.
Peace~M&M
You know, I worry about drunks driving around killing people. I know what happens is not my decision and will be determined without my assistance by SOMEONE ELSE...you know who. *sigh* this powerless business irks me sometimes =)
I read "Tuesdays..." many years ago and really enjoyed it, passing it along several times as needed. Thanks skg, for your good thoughts and vibes. And even if I don't want to live to be hundred, most of my female relatives have - on both sides, yeesh.
Peace~M&M
Mom~
So sorry for your losses. No one is ever prepared for things like that. Hang in there and pray to your HP for strength.
With regards to the drunk guy getting ready to drive. Wow that's a tough one. I probably would have done exactly as you did and felt the guilt just as you do. Don't be too hard on yourself. Not your job to take care of everyone else. Maybe if it happens again you could offer to drive the person? Who knows. We can all Monday morning quarterback but those types of situations come up for us all from time to time.
Have a great day and I wish you some peace today. :-)
So sorry for your losses. No one is ever prepared for things like that. Hang in there and pray to your HP for strength.
With regards to the drunk guy getting ready to drive. Wow that's a tough one. I probably would have done exactly as you did and felt the guilt just as you do. Don't be too hard on yourself. Not your job to take care of everyone else. Maybe if it happens again you could offer to drive the person? Who knows. We can all Monday morning quarterback but those types of situations come up for us all from time to time.
Have a great day and I wish you some peace today. :-)
MomNMore,
I probably would have looked at the whole thing as an opportunity to do something right--maybe because of all the times *I* have been that guy? I HAVE asked people, while looking them deep in the eyes, "Are you okay to drive? Would you like me to drive?" before. That NEVER would have happened a few 24 hours ago, either!
Rather than judge them, I'm trying to do the next right thing. I guess that's the difference. And I AM NOT getting smart! You can't fool ME!!
~wink~
always push the other way.
I probably would have looked at the whole thing as an opportunity to do something right--maybe because of all the times *I* have been that guy? I HAVE asked people, while looking them deep in the eyes, "Are you okay to drive? Would you like me to drive?" before. That NEVER would have happened a few 24 hours ago, either!
Rather than judge them, I'm trying to do the next right thing. I guess that's the difference. And I AM NOT getting smart! You can't fool ME!!
~wink~
always push the other way.
Hi momnmore sorry for your loss. I know things must be difficult. As for the guy in the parking lot. I know how you feel on that one. One time though I did report a drunk driver. He was so drunk he got in his car when he couldn't even hardly walk.He got pulled over, picked up and lost his license then I felt guilty about that.I wondered for the longest time did I do the right or wrong thing. Finally I convinced myself that I probably saved his life or the life of another. Would I do it again? Yes. I would rather feel guilty for ratting somebody out then to feel guilty knowing I had the opportunity to prevent a death and didn't.I have known several people whose lives have been lost due to drinking and driving . Just my take on it. Hang in there and I hope things look up for you soon. God bless and take care
MomnMore...my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am sorry for your losses.
Don't beat yourself up because you didn't call the cops. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Just focus on the fact that you are sober and you were clear-headed while honoring your lost friends' lives.
Don't beat yourself up because you didn't call the cops. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Just focus on the fact that you are sober and you were clear-headed while honoring your lost friends' lives.
