Kiriwin whilst i agree with your tough love i think that you can only say what you think when you know that person how do you know that your tough love would not send someone to distraction can i sugest that whilst i consider you to be caring please try to get to know people before you force your tough love on them. jackie xx
Carrie
I can only echo the supportive posts above you really sound in need of help. I Know in the past if you saw someone posting something like you did you would have been one of the first to jump in and offer support.
I have emailed you
Paul
I can only echo the supportive posts above you really sound in need of help. I Know in the past if you saw someone posting something like you did you would have been one of the first to jump in and offer support.
I have emailed you
Paul
Hi there Mr neon hows things hun?????????????? jackie xxxx
I can't even imagine how hard it is to have cancer and be concerned with addiction at the same time. My gosh!! I am no expert, and I've never had cancer, but if you need those meds for the pain of cancer, I wouldn't try to stop in the middle of recovering from cancer. You must be a very strong person to be battling all of this at once! Please, no one jump on me for suggesting that, but I've seen people suffer through cancer and it is bad. Beat the cancer first, then work on anything else you need beat. Just my opinion.
Hey Jackie
Things are great with me but I am extreemly worried about carrie/lady M. How are you matey?
Paul
Things are great with me but I am extreemly worried about carrie/lady M. How are you matey?
Paul
LOL.
Im not a monster. Im just me. I dont blow sunshine up people's as*es just because it makes them falsly feel better.
This thread isn't even about me so I don't know why some people are changing it to look that way. This thread is about someone else, who feels pity on themselves so therefore they are using that to justify drug use, which in itself is wrong. Why would you want to get a temporary high just to numb the pain? It doesn't last forever and after it's over you feel like crap again. Why don't you just get rid of the pills, be yourself and deal with your problems headon?? I did it and so have many others. I'm not being mean to anyone, but thats the simple reality of the situation.
I could sit here and say, "Oh I know how you feel and I feel so bad and sad for you." But then I'd be lying to myself and others. Oh I just choose to say things exactly how I see them. I don't beat around the bush. Either you will like what I say or you don't. You do have the choice to read what I say. No one is forcing anyone to read here.
So if anyone doesn't like what I say, then don't read it. But I'm not changing for anyone. If you want a straight forward, to the point, no BS answer then read my posts. I'm not almost 40 days clean by being some fake, pity seeking person.
B-Bye.
Im not a monster. Im just me. I dont blow sunshine up people's as*es just because it makes them falsly feel better.
This thread isn't even about me so I don't know why some people are changing it to look that way. This thread is about someone else, who feels pity on themselves so therefore they are using that to justify drug use, which in itself is wrong. Why would you want to get a temporary high just to numb the pain? It doesn't last forever and after it's over you feel like crap again. Why don't you just get rid of the pills, be yourself and deal with your problems headon?? I did it and so have many others. I'm not being mean to anyone, but thats the simple reality of the situation.
I could sit here and say, "Oh I know how you feel and I feel so bad and sad for you." But then I'd be lying to myself and others. Oh I just choose to say things exactly how I see them. I don't beat around the bush. Either you will like what I say or you don't. You do have the choice to read what I say. No one is forcing anyone to read here.
So if anyone doesn't like what I say, then don't read it. But I'm not changing for anyone. If you want a straight forward, to the point, no BS answer then read my posts. I'm not almost 40 days clean by being some fake, pity seeking person.
B-Bye.
Only 55 more days and you'll be a 90 day wonder.
No offence guys, but i dont think she is comming back, or even reading her posts, i care alot about evryone and she is worth it, but where is she, she has not posted any one back, this is so sad and unfornute, i wish that she would come back to reality but shes out there i guess in her own little world, i will prey 4 her, jazzy
Well who really knows? She may read all the support she is getting here and reconsider. That is the hope here. Kiwirain, I agree with Jackie. Carrie is going through a lot with the cancer. Have you ever had cancer? I think she has every right to feel sorry for herself. She is going through a lot right now. Cancer is a scary thing, plus tough with all the treatments. You should really cut her some slack. Tough love comes from Love, I don't think you say things out of love. I have read in other post where you critisize peoples spelling. Just leave these people alone.
Kiwi-even you have said you have relapsed twice. It has happened to almost anyone. And it could certainly happen to you again. How will you feel then? You feel quite proud of yourself and now want to pontificate. I have spent 44 years free of addiction. Now I am an addict. Want me to say what I think of people who took "oxy" not legally? I'm a very ill person. But I'm trying to quit this stuff because I'd rather die than be an addict. I didn't start taking anything to get "high". People get sick, they takes meds, and it goes out of control. I can be harder on people than anyone could imagine. Guess what though. When people reach out, they need help. No one is looking for a "pity party" You can do that alone and on your own. Not on a website. If you are here, you are looking for advice. Or help. I've been battling addiction for almost a year now, which is short by some peoples standards. And what I take is small compared to some peoples "standards". But we all have our own demons and are trying to work through them. Look at LadyM..now she's relasped. I've never been one for "tough love". I'm one for "love love".
Danny ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) jackie xx
Chemotherapy often brings about depression as a side effect. Unfortunately, depression can bring with it a downward spiral that can make the other side effects of the chemo, such as nausea, even worse. This in turn can contribute to a greater depressive effect. I am a huge believer in 12 Step recovery as a method of dealing with depression, but cancer has a funny way of throwing people deeply off balance, and I find it hypocritical to accuse someone of being on this particular pity pot unless he has personally weathered similar circumstances.
Add to the equation that Carries form of cancer is a bone cancer which brings with it extraordinarily high levels of pain. Add further to the mix that Carrie just learned that she does not have a bone marrow match, which makes her situation extremely critical. How critical you might ask? Don't. You don't want to know.
Geesh, I have just gone through the cancer trip and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this! I was lucky, in that I had a lot of sober time under my belt when I went through the cancer journey. Also my cancer was treatable with gentler therapies, and I did not have to worry about being a parent while suffering treatment. Carries situation is drastically different than mine and I dare say different than most of the people who frequent this board.
Then we have some 35-day wonder come on here and attempt to equate Carries situation to his/her own, and then to justify his lack of compassion and sympathy because he is some kind of standard-bearer for the truth? Cmon give me a break! Who amongst us really buys that line? It is not only what you say but also how you say it and it is rather clear to me that this person is writing not out of a desire to be of service to others, but rather, out of a misguided and utterly ill-informed sense of moral superiority. This guy is a poster child for the adage regarding restraint of pen and tongue discussed in Step 4.
Those of you who have been around for awhile know that I am the king of tough love; however, applying that approach to someone in Carrie's position is completely inappropriate, and I for one will call him on it. I too can speak the truth for what it is, and the truth is that our 35-day wonder has yet to demonstrate the first clue as to how the program of recovery really works.
Pain pill addiction is a complex issue. People on this board include those who abused for no reason other than the fact that they wanted to escape themselves, ie, classic addicts, but it also includes many who come here out of concern relating to genuine, serious medical issues. For the pure addicts out there, if those with medical issues raise a trigger to you or otherwise threaten your recovery, my suggestion would be to work a fourth step.
Like it or not, it requires a modicum of judgment to address these issues and to place ones comments in perspective. Mere platitudes will inevitably fall short of the mark, as they most certainly did in this instance.
I will close, however, with a platitude: If a horse thief gets sober, whadaya get? Why, a sober horse thief, of course. That is why we have to work the steps.
August
Add to the equation that Carries form of cancer is a bone cancer which brings with it extraordinarily high levels of pain. Add further to the mix that Carrie just learned that she does not have a bone marrow match, which makes her situation extremely critical. How critical you might ask? Don't. You don't want to know.
Geesh, I have just gone through the cancer trip and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this! I was lucky, in that I had a lot of sober time under my belt when I went through the cancer journey. Also my cancer was treatable with gentler therapies, and I did not have to worry about being a parent while suffering treatment. Carries situation is drastically different than mine and I dare say different than most of the people who frequent this board.
Then we have some 35-day wonder come on here and attempt to equate Carries situation to his/her own, and then to justify his lack of compassion and sympathy because he is some kind of standard-bearer for the truth? Cmon give me a break! Who amongst us really buys that line? It is not only what you say but also how you say it and it is rather clear to me that this person is writing not out of a desire to be of service to others, but rather, out of a misguided and utterly ill-informed sense of moral superiority. This guy is a poster child for the adage regarding restraint of pen and tongue discussed in Step 4.
Those of you who have been around for awhile know that I am the king of tough love; however, applying that approach to someone in Carrie's position is completely inappropriate, and I for one will call him on it. I too can speak the truth for what it is, and the truth is that our 35-day wonder has yet to demonstrate the first clue as to how the program of recovery really works.
Pain pill addiction is a complex issue. People on this board include those who abused for no reason other than the fact that they wanted to escape themselves, ie, classic addicts, but it also includes many who come here out of concern relating to genuine, serious medical issues. For the pure addicts out there, if those with medical issues raise a trigger to you or otherwise threaten your recovery, my suggestion would be to work a fourth step.
Like it or not, it requires a modicum of judgment to address these issues and to place ones comments in perspective. Mere platitudes will inevitably fall short of the mark, as they most certainly did in this instance.
I will close, however, with a platitude: If a horse thief gets sober, whadaya get? Why, a sober horse thief, of course. That is why we have to work the steps.
August
Nice last line, August. i was one of those who started using to "escape", so I won't even pretend to know what it's like to need pain pills. However, I agree that Carrie's situation is very different, and much more complex, than most of the posters here. I can't understand why someone would even dare criticize her knowing her situation. it breaks my heart. We should all be praying for her life, not judging her. I for one will keep her in my prayers no matter what she does!
KIWI" i normaly am a very easy going person and i have nothing against you and i cant believe that u are realy that mean iam sure u are a good person" but i lost my father inlaw to cancer and he was in such pain for a very long time do u know what real pain can do to a humanbeing have u any idea about cancer and iam not being mean thats not how iam but if u did u would not be so cold hearted and iam sure u are not" anyway he asked for help he yelled for help so are u going to say that people who have to suffer that kind of pain are just feeling pitty for them self he was scared he was worried about his family and he was mad do u know what living with cancer can do to u i seen what it did to this dear man and his family so in my book if anyone had a right to feel sorry for them self he did" and ladym is living with cancer and i for one will give her all the support she needs and if she knows there are people who care about her she may beat this thing instead of giveing up" my father inlaw was diagnosed to late but ladym needs us now and if u dont want to be amoung those of us who support her that is your business but please dont post on her theard then" anyway i hope u have a good life .
August, what you said....
I was thinking of that horse thief saying also, only substituting 'arrogant little pr#%k.' Oh hell, just added to my 10th step inventory.
I was thinking of that horse thief saying also, only substituting 'arrogant little pr#%k.' Oh hell, just added to my 10th step inventory.
lol hiya none jackie xx
None- you are so great! Kiwi, as an example from me. I have been told I might have pancreatic cancer. Back in mid Sep- they told me 50/50 chance. You know what that means? That type of cancer has a 98% death rate. YEP-98%. Do the math, smart guy. I was alone. Driving home from the hospital, I had to pull over three times and I threw up each time into a platic bag. They put me on Vic's then to help the pain. But I am SO afraid of addiction, having kicked Xanax and booze. So I go into the hospital again 2 weeks ago for what is called an RSCP..go "google" it..you'll see what it is..well, after being on an IV for 4 hours (at one of the best hospitals in the country) , they decide they can't do it and reset the date for 12/10. No one "wants" to cut open someone if they aren't forced to. Thats the only other way. So I have to wait. So I still don't know. If I have it, it's friggin fatal. Understand? It means I'm dead. I've been in the hospital 7 times (for over 5 days each time) since March. I've lost 65 pounds. But guess what? I went through hell on Earth with Xanax. That is why I am so afraid. read up on Xanax addiction. You might not feel so proud of yourself. BELIEVE me, I ain't posting for sympathy, and please NO ONE post any. I'm in this and I'll get through it. What I am posting about is people fall into these things and are looking for ANY way to get out. So, get off your high horse or STFU and just help people. Sorry for the long post and spilling my guts.
dannyrob, I am here for you. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. There is one commodity that is precious, and that is hope. I wish for you that your good days be long and your bad days be short, but regardless of which you may be having, know that there are some out here that are in your corner.
M, I think you summarized the gist of my little adage quite well.
All the best,
August
M, I think you summarized the gist of my little adage quite well.
All the best,
August
Hi Little H and Jackie,
I havent been posting but just wanted to say a quick hello!!!! I hope both of you are doing good and wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas!!! Take care ladies.
Love,
Marie
I havent been posting but just wanted to say a quick hello!!!! I hope both of you are doing good and wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas!!! Take care ladies.
Love,
Marie
August- Thank you so much. I have no choice but to hang in there. It's kinda like waiting for the jury to return, I guess. I am so afraid. But, one way or the other, I'll know, which is a relief. And this isn't any "drama" stuff. Did anyone see "ER" last week, where the guy got the tube shoved up his nose? That actually happened to me 2 months ago. I was throwing up blood. Wife brought me to the ER. They ram a tube up my nose. So I am throwing up blood, got a tube up my nose and totally freaking out. You don't throw up blood for "no" reason.People are saying Carrie was dramatic or whatever, but unless they have been there, done that, they don't know. I agree with Bob when he says his wife should be 100%. We should all be so lucky. People get scared. I am. Thats why I'd rather see helpful, caring people rather than judgemental ones. It just pisses me off. I've heard enough "drug" and "booze" stories to last a lifetime. If you a REALLY sick, you are.
