Scared

Hi,

I am a mother of a 24 year old beautiful girl who has been a Heroin addict for about 4 years. We have done it all, detox, rehabs, drug court, jail, outpatient and then the cycle starts over again. Currently, she has a warrant out for not particiapating quite the way her judge in her drug court thought she should. She was doing great, clean and looking forward to her future. Then she ran into her durg court judge at an airport while she was picking up a friend. He asked her to call him. That weekend she was moving in with me so I could help her get her license back she could use my car to find a job and continue with her outpatient. She told me that she saw the judge and being that I leave about 85 miles away from her drug court I conacted her lawyer and he called the judge for her to inform him of her new living arrangements and to find an outpatient clinic in my area. Well, the judge did not return the lawyers call and put a warrant out on my daughter. That was the end, after all the progress she had made it was over. Back on drugs, stealing, running and then back in detox. Unfortnately, this time it got even worse. She was in detox last week and was going to get clean so she could answer the warrant and go to jail to serve out her sentence. But this time she left detox with a complete stranger, was missing for a few days and then raped violently by two men. I really hope this was the bottom of her barrel. She of course did not report it, however I do have going a rape crissis center today. She is not mentally well enough to go to jail right now. I am hoping she can find some help at the crissis center. I am sorry for rambling, if anyone has a suggestion how I can help this girl, please let me know.

Thank you.
It sounds like you are already doing everything that you can. Ultimately though, it is her choice of whether or not she wants to recover and remain in recovery.
Is she back living with you now?
I hope the Crisis Centre can help her with some counselling. What happened to her is absolutely horrendous.
I hope she pulls through.
Good luck,
Mickey
Kate,

Your lucky you have a second and third chance with your daughter. I did not get a second chance with my son. See thread: http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...=ST&f=17&t=5800

Below are my suggestions:

You and her father have to unite on this. This is a very crucial time. You have a number of options:


Option 1) Move her to a rehab out of state where she has no friends and does not know the area. A change might be good for her and it will be hard for her to connect up with more drugs. Especially if the rehab is in a remote area.

Option 2) I don't know what your resources are for money but studies show that heroin addiction requires a good 3-6 months of continuous rehab, in a good rehab center to get on the path to recovery. Concurrent with rehab they should be going to NA meetings, have talk therapy with a psych, and psych drugs, if required, and anti-opiate blockers, like Naltroxone or Subtufex or some of the new stuff. Every situation is different. Are your parents, the grandparents, willing to help out? If my son had not of died from relapse, I had a $200,000 war chest, part of my retirement, that I was going to use to put him in one of those rehab centers on a South Pacfic Island for a year or more or something similar to that. But I never had the second chance. I tried tough love on him and told him if he did drugs again he would have to leave the house. He did and never came back. I was learning as I went and I don't think I got my message clearly to him that I would help him if he relapsed. There is a time to do tough love and time not to do it. Experience tells you when. But we, the parents are not trained in this.

Option 3) Go to an NA meeting in your area and talk to some of the recovering Heroin addicts. They are everywhere. They may be able to give you guidance on what to do in your situation. They are also a good source of what rehab centers have effective behavioral treatment. Many recovering heroin addicts want to become sponsors to others after they have completed their 12 steps. It helps them and your daughter.

There is no consumers report on how to pick a good rehab center but in California the ones that have good reputations are IMPACT in Pasadena, Promises in Malibu and Beverly Hills, The Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs. There are other good ones across the country but I don't know of an unbiased referral service that can give you rankings of rehab centers and success rates. I will say this. The recovery rate for Heroin addicts is less than 10%. My sons addictionologist told us that. No rehab will guarantee anything because there is no cure for addiction. There really isn't a lot of guidance for the family and the drug recovery process is fragmented across various industries: rehab centers, the medical community and social recovery groups like Narcotics Anonymous. There is no one to really give you help holistically. This board can be a good source of guidance but only you know what is best in your situation.

God Bless,

Phil (David's Dad)
II did not know how to respond to your posts, I hope you both view this:

David,

I am so sorry for your loss. You are right, I am lucky and I will keep trying and trying to help her. Thank you for suggestions. Her father and I have been working together to help her. He would like to send her to Arizona to live with relatives, but I'm worried because Heroin is every where and how can we help her if she is so far away. We are from a very small town who would have ever thought this would be a problem in this rural setting. My daughter is bi-polar as well. Thank you and my heart felt sympathies to your family.
Kate

Mickey,

Thank you for your care and concern. She is currently living with her Dad and we to understand that it is her choice but it is killing both of us. I have not heard as to how she made out at the crisis center. I pray they can help!

Thank you again,

Kate
My heart goes out to you.my little sister is on the same track.
she is on she is 29 she is on crack and lord knows what else.
i am so scared for her safetey.she is really bad into drugs and went through jail and probation but not detox.we are trying to do that now.she is on one of her binged again.i am here if you need to talk,

Michelle
Kate, this will sound brutal but my advice to you is to let your daughter sort out her own life. She is 24, she knows where the help is, sje knows what she needs to do to get her life sorted out, she knows she has your love and support at all times. You can't do anymore than you have done already.

I suggest you think about getting help for yourself, there are many great organisations that can help you deal with your daughters addiction.. Al Anon/Nar Anon are just two.

Best wishes to you.