I stumbled on this web site while looking for answer's to my sister's drug problem and have decided to share my own addiction.
I am 26 years old and have had numerous addictions. Coke, perscription drugs and alchol. Alchol has been the one that has and is causing me the most pain. I haven't used any other drugs in over three years but I wound up in the hospital last weekend because of alchol (and myself) It is extremely hard for me to talk about but here goes. I would say I am a binge drinker. I always think I can drink socially but when I start I can't stop. I always black out when I drink. I had a huge fight with my husband on the weekend and kicked him out of the house.Two days later I decided to go out drinking with no food in my stomach. I ran up a tap of $100 and I don't remember leaving the bar. I woke up in the hospital in intensive care. I had stiches in my leg and stomach. I thought I was in a car accident. It turns out I almost passed out at the bar (I work there and they knew I was upset so they over served my) the bouncer drove me home and he wasn't worried about me because I laid down on the couch to go to sleep. But I didn't go to sleep. I called my husband and was not making any sense. Then I cut my leg and stomace with a knife. My husband came to the house and found me unconscious and bleeding. He took me to the hospital and they pumped my stomach, stiched me up, and waited for me to sober up. It was the most horrible, embarrasing thing I have ever done. To make matters worse is I don't even know what I was thinking at the time. I have been sober for 1 week today. I am really scared of what I might do to myself if I ever drink again. Any advice or help would be much appreciated.
s
Wow.
I read posts like the one from "LOVING SISTER", and I realize what a really frightening and powerful drug alcohol is for some people.
What non-alcoholics don't seem to fully understand is that me and
millions like me and the lady who entered her incredibly sad blackout story, is that some people cannot tolerate alcohol in any form. People who KNOW I have a problem with alcohol, offer it to me all the time. Why don't they get it? Why offer a guest a glass of poison? They have seen me pass out, black out, heard of my DUI arrests, yet I come to their house and they offer me a glass of wine.
WHY?
I cannot understand why "loving sister" works in a bar! Is this
the only job available in your area? Why would the people who run the
bar give you too much to drink? I don't understand any of it. I DO know that
it is obvious you have a lethal, toxic reaction to ethanol, an you should never ever drink it. That said, I want you to know I have spent years and years
struggling with my addictions. It is NOT EASY.
Get into a program. Hang out with "sober people". Get your sister to
go with you. Do it together. This is a deadly, lethal horrible disease, and you need support and strength to fight it. Start now, before it is too late, before you
kill someone. Good luck.
I read posts like the one from "LOVING SISTER", and I realize what a really frightening and powerful drug alcohol is for some people.
What non-alcoholics don't seem to fully understand is that me and
millions like me and the lady who entered her incredibly sad blackout story, is that some people cannot tolerate alcohol in any form. People who KNOW I have a problem with alcohol, offer it to me all the time. Why don't they get it? Why offer a guest a glass of poison? They have seen me pass out, black out, heard of my DUI arrests, yet I come to their house and they offer me a glass of wine.
WHY?
I cannot understand why "loving sister" works in a bar! Is this
the only job available in your area? Why would the people who run the
bar give you too much to drink? I don't understand any of it. I DO know that
it is obvious you have a lethal, toxic reaction to ethanol, an you should never ever drink it. That said, I want you to know I have spent years and years
struggling with my addictions. It is NOT EASY.
Get into a program. Hang out with "sober people". Get your sister to
go with you. Do it together. This is a deadly, lethal horrible disease, and you need support and strength to fight it. Start now, before it is too late, before you
kill someone. Good luck.
Thanks for replying. I work in a bar because I enjoy the social part of the scene. Also the money is great and the hours are perfect.I never get an urge to drink while I am at work. It actually turns me off of drinking.When I asked the staff at my work why they served me so much the reply was that they thought I was fine, and that I sure could handel my alchol. I have most problems with alchol when I am angry or sad. It is really weird though, I feel totally at peace when I tell myself that I will never EVER drink again. I almost feel relieved. It is so strange, before I would feel very anxious when I thought about never drinking but this time around is so different. I honestly believe in my heart that if I continue to drink I will die. I am currently attending a program in my town call S.O.S. and I have read a great book called Rational Recovery. I no longer feel embarrased by what happened, I am ready to deal with life head on - not as a recovering alcholic- simply as a non-drinker. As for my sister, she needs to hit a bottom - I can't force her to get help, but I will continue to be there for her when she falls.
Dear Loving sister,
I just thought I stop by and check on how you're doing.
I hope you are starting to feel a little better now that you have been sober for a little over a month.
Just take it one day at a time, and as each day goes by, you will become stronger.
You know that you really can do this!
I just thought I'd let you know that I'm rooting for you, and tell you that you are in my prayers too.
Stay strong.
Nancy
I just thought I stop by and check on how you're doing.
I hope you are starting to feel a little better now that you have been sober for a little over a month.
Just take it one day at a time, and as each day goes by, you will become stronger.
You know that you really can do this!
I just thought I'd let you know that I'm rooting for you, and tell you that you are in my prayers too.
Stay strong.
Nancy
I am doing really well, thanks for asking. I have not had a drink, and I am doing alot of soul searching. Ending up in the hospital really opened my eyes to hidden pain that is built up inside of me which I am now working through.I have good days and not so good days. I have a great support group which I find really help. My husband and I are working together to improve our marriage, he is not drinking to help support me. Sometimes I get down on myself when we go out together because I worry that he wants to drink. It makes me insecure because I think what if he would rather be with someone who he could drink and laugh and act silly with.It is weird because I know in my head I am more fun to be around when I don't drink, but the addiction tells me anything to get me to drink. It is such a constant struggle. I tell myself everyday I don't drink and don't give in to my addiction, I get stronger and the addiction gets weaker. I just want to thank everyone for caring. It makes me feel so loved when I see people helping and praying for each other on this site.
steph
steph
I had a female friend who would go crazy when she drank.she kept on drinking even though shed hold up liqour stores,...steal cars,...and do roberies while under the influence of alcohol but never ever did she ever remember doing any of those things.She got in fights with her husband, nieghbors, family and never remmebered any of what she had done once she sobered up.She kept drinking and wouldnt stop.She finally got on one drunk and stabbed a man to death who lived in her apartment complex and she to this day doesnt remmeber it.She doesnt drink anymore,...shes doing life in prison for murder now.
Hi: Hope all is well. I personally feel when you get too wasted you give evil spirits a camping ground which they use your body for their own evilness.That is my personal opinion as to why people do not remember anything because it is not them. That's way the Bible talks against getting drunk. Take Care.
