Screwed And Scared!!

i posted this on the heroin board but figured i'de post here to.

well i'm really screwed!! my husband did the worst thing to me, he stole my script(suboxone) and sold it to his friend. he also drained my bank account so i can't afford to go to my doctor apt today. i was on 16mgs to 20mgs a day. i have had 1/2 a 8mg pill in two days. i'm so scared i'm going to go into withdrawl. i so want to be clean and i'm afraid if withdrawl starts that i'll give in and use. its been almost a month since i used. i'm so hurt and confused. he said he did it for my own good, he doesn't want me hooked on subs for years. i don't know what to do, or if thats why he really did it.
how bad will the withdrawl be? i really feel like i'm stuck and i can't do anything about it. any suggestions would be more than welcomed. i feel like i'm going to fall apart. i can't do this again. (go back to using i mean) i need to work and take care of my kids, i can't be sick.
help
raerae
What a son of a b****.

Rae, can you call your sub doctor and tell them what happened and get a refill? If you are on that much sub, and you just stop, you are going to crash, and hard.

Can you get ahold of your husband? This is serious, he had no business doing that. That is hitting way below the belt.

Redd
my doctor said i can buy more pills and i still need to pay $60 for my apt today. i don't get paid till monday and i can't afford it today. i talked to my husband and he said he is sorry. he just thinks its for the best. i'm so hurt. and i really don't want to be sick.
thanks for the ideas
raerae
RAERAE,
Sorry to hear about you problem. I also am on SUB. I just started taking it.
---A couple things come to mind. It sounds like you have been taking SUB for just 1 month. Thats not a long time at all. You dosage does seem kind of high unless you were kicking a Methadone habit.
---This also sounds like a "Control Issue" with your husband. There has to be more to this story. Is there any reasoning with him if you showed him a Government web site which shows that 1 month isnt long? Or is there No reasoning with him at all at this point?
If you have no money how can you go and use drugs again?

Is that what you want anyways? To give up and get scared so you use drugs again? That isnt gonna solve anything by the way. At some point you gotta cross this hurdle regardless.

Don't try and find a way to justify using drugs, cause your only fooling yourself.
Wow, that is really messed up. Is he an addict too? Is that why he sold your stuff? Quitting at 8 mg is going to be pretty hard I imagine. That is a pretty high dose to just quit. It would be best if you could talk to your doc and then taper. See if he can give them to you and then you can pay him later. I doubt you would be able to work. Why don't you ask your doc if you can get a few pills until you can afford to pay for the doc's visit? I don't know. I wish you the best.

Good luck and God Bless.
Stormy, she was on an even higher dose. She was at 16 to 20mg.

I'm sorry, but this is just crazy that you have to "ask" him for what is yours. Can you call someone that can muscle it out of him, so to speak? I'd even consider calling the cops.

Can you borrow money from a friend or family to help get you through with your sub doctor?

just bouncing ideas around, I'm scared for you

Redd
I just started sub on Monday and I did not have enough money for all of the pills for the week. He let me buy 4 pills and then I went back today and got the other three for $20. Maybe he can do that for you.
Kiwi- Come on, her husband comitted a crime. She is now destitude (at least to Monday). RaeRae is going through a rehab program with Sub and if she is not ready, she's not. Cut her some slack.

RaeRae- Get ahold of your husband, have him pay or turn him in to the police. He's commited a felony by selling your treatment 'script. He shouldn't be allowed to make the decision on your recovery. I would also sign Power Of Attorney (Medical) to someone (preferably family) that you trust 100% to help you in your recovery program. Your Doctor (if you told him) might very well turn him in anyway. He is bound by law to do so.
Oh, what? 16 to 20??? No, you are going to need sub. You really don't want to w/d from that high of a dose. That would be hell. Yes, see if you can borrow some money and do what I did. Justs get a few pills. Your doc should do that until you get some money. 3 8 mg pills were $20 here.
stormy,
i'm on 16 to 20 mgs a day, not 8mg. all i have had in the past 2 days is 1/2 a 8mg pill.


kirwian,
i don't want to use!! i don't have money till monday. i'm going to be really sick, i think. i can however get heroin on the front, thats why i'm afriad i'll go back. if i feel bad enough.


sorry i forget who else posted,
i'm not sure what his problem is, he has never had control issues. he has been clean for 2 weeks and he did it c/t. his buddy was really dope sick and so he gave them to him. i don't understand why, so i can't really explain. my doctor isn't very helpful. today is the day i get my script refilled, so i'm supose to see him today. they only take money upfront and no payments are accepted. i was hoping since i have only been on for about a month i wouldn't withdrawl from the subs, i guess i was wrong.
thanks to all of you who replyed
raerae
RaeRae,

Sorry to hear what happened. Can you maybe post date a check and get some that way. I hope some help comes your way soon.

Kathy
how are you feeling right now with only that much in your system?

Redd
no one knows about this except him. i don't have anyone i can get money from.
but thanks for the ideas.
i really don't want to have him arrested, he is my husband.
rae
Rae-

Is there any way you could get up a little bit of money, just to get a few pills. Not fill the whole script. Sorry, I was misunderstood about how much you were taking. Is the half of the 8 holding you ok? I think you should call your doctor and explain to him what happened. Your husband is a real jerk for doing that. Maybe your doc will understand? It is worth giving it a shot.
Or they have those check cashing places that will cash a personal check until you get paid? Just a suggestion.
redd,
i feel okay, alittle achy. see i only took my subs when i needed to some days i would take 8mg and some days 16mg, once in awhile i'de take 20mgs. i never really stablized on a dose. tuesday is the last time i had 12mgs. today i took 1/2 a 8mg. (i had one pill at work, so i have 1/2 of 8mgs left)
rae
Rae, this might hurt, but I'm gonna say it anyway...

Yeah, hes your husband. Your husband that stole your sub and sold it to someone else who was hurting. Your husband, that is trying to control you. Your husband who is OK with letting you suffer.

Yeah, your husband should be cut a break.

this is your choice, so I have to respect it. You are the one who has to go through this.

Redd
Raerae - maybe you could go to an emergency room or clinic and tell them what happened and that you are afraid of a replapse, perhaps they could give you just enough until monday. Just a thought. I know addicts can get pretty creative when they need a fix, maybe the same would work to try and get your medication.
redd,
i don't understand why he did this, but i forgive him. i'm sure he thought it was for the best. i don't know.
i did call my doctor(in tears) and they said they will see me today for free as long as i pay on monday. if i don't pay i'll be booted out. i feel so much better. it took a few calls and me being very upset.
o'well i'm just going to have to hide my script. i hate this, its just like when i was using, i would have to hide my bags or he would take them.
life shouldn't be like this, but i do love him. as crazy as it may sound, i really do love him.

thanks to everyone you guys are wonderful.
luv
rae