Well, I guess when I thought I was ready, I wasn't. The mornings are killer. I am soooooo wiped by the time I wake up that my first thought is, I need my pills. The morning thing is really getting hard. I cannot wake myself up and if it weren't for the kids I'd be in bed most of the morning. Once I take the pills I feel so guilty and I just want to throw them back up, but then I start feeling better and get on with my day. Anyone have any suggestions on getting off to the right start in the morning when I feel so bad. I went so far as to wrap each of my days tappering amount into sepparate packages, day 1 - 9 and the amounts and times and put them away. This morning, though was so rough I just said to hell with it and ripped them open to get my 16, Please someone help me with this. Maybe I'm going to have to come clean and go to my doctor but that isn't even gonna do it, I know. Last time I went, he said oh honey you don't have a problem, you need those for your pain??? Then another time I was in full fledged withdrawl. It had only been 24 hours and I called him and told him what I was doing and my symptoms and asked for some help and he said, your not in withdrawl, you have the flu. Then he tried to give me morphine cause he thought that would solve the acetametophen problem. But I didn't like them as they gave me headaches. Anyway, my point is this morning, I feel like a bag of crap because I have absolutely no willpower and after all my spewing the other day on how strong and determined I was this time, it makes it all the worse to see how this things has got me so tied up.
HELP!!!
I have the same problem as you in the a.m. I cant get out of bed with out taking them the morning is my worst part of the day. but i got to get up and the kids got to go to school and the baby needs a diaper. i wish i could help i am just starting to wean myself today. I think that once I get my daily does way down the mornings should be better. its a hangover from what we did the day before. well good luck if i figure anything out for sure i'll let you know.
both of you.......the mornings are always the hardest for everyone, addict or not. All I can say is, if you really want to quit, maybe you need to taper, and have someone else hold them for you. Or go to rehab. I know it sounds impossible, but when you have small kids depending on you to raise them, shuoldn't you do whatever you can to save you own life?
I was on 150mg. a day of Norco for 8 years......so I know what you are going through and how hopeless it seems. But, it can be done. i never thought I could do it either, and I did. So, pray, get some outside help, and keep trying!
Mornings were the worst for me as well, My suggestion would be hit the ground running, get right up and keep moving for the first few minutes to get your blood moving. I started doing a couple pushups as soon as I would wake up, and I still do, then coffee. Soon after you quit the pills (for me a few weeks) you will not think "pill" as soon as you open your eyes. You can do it, make yourself do it. Your morning will become a lot easier.
Best Regards,
Tom
Best Regards,
Tom
Tom....OMG! push-ups!? i have 90+ days clean and I still can't do push-ups. LOL It is so hard in the morning.....especially when you brain has been trained to think about a pill the second your eyes open. But it does get better and that brain can be re-trained, with time. It takes a lot of hard work, girls, and you have to have help. Let us know what we can do, but get some outside help, as well! Take care!
Carol,
Its kinda embarrasing but the first time I tried it, I counted off, one, two, three ....f*** this.. lol. But it really did help. I am doing more than three now, though I still add the f*** this to the end of any count. lol
regards,
Tom
Its kinda embarrasing but the first time I tried it, I counted off, one, two, three ....f*** this.. lol. But it really did help. I am doing more than three now, though I still add the f*** this to the end of any count. lol
regards,
Tom
Tom........LMAO.......good for you for at least keeping it up! I bought the Pilates dvd yesterday, but have not opened it yet! LOL I really do need to do something. I think I actually have enough energy back after 3 months to do a workout! LOL Gotta run, again, have a great day!
If you feel so bad about it, then why are you taking the pills? I don't understand that? You continually say how horrible and pathetic you feel for taking them but they everyday you continue to take them? So what is that solving? NOTHING!
The 1st thing you might want to do is flush the pills down the toilet. Save some dignity. Get rid of them then you can't take the pills and therefore you won't feel so 'horrible' for taking them.
Then after you do that, immediately get rid of the doctor who continually feeds you pills (assuming your telling the truth). Going back to him all the time to get more pills isn't solving anything either. Get another doctor who doesn't hand out pills for everything.
After that you will need professional help. Go to a detox center where professionals can get you off the pills and educate you on how to stay off them.
I mean don't you feel embarrassed that a tiny little pill is completely controlling your life? You can't get up without a pill? I mean come on? Why is a pill telling you what to do and how to do it. WOW.
I mean you gotta get real with yourself and start taking action. Don't eat your pills everyday and then feel bad after the fact. Your only fooling yourself.
The 1st thing you might want to do is flush the pills down the toilet. Save some dignity. Get rid of them then you can't take the pills and therefore you won't feel so 'horrible' for taking them.
Then after you do that, immediately get rid of the doctor who continually feeds you pills (assuming your telling the truth). Going back to him all the time to get more pills isn't solving anything either. Get another doctor who doesn't hand out pills for everything.
After that you will need professional help. Go to a detox center where professionals can get you off the pills and educate you on how to stay off them.
I mean don't you feel embarrassed that a tiny little pill is completely controlling your life? You can't get up without a pill? I mean come on? Why is a pill telling you what to do and how to do it. WOW.
I mean you gotta get real with yourself and start taking action. Don't eat your pills everyday and then feel bad after the fact. Your only fooling yourself.
Betternow:
Sweetie I can't emphasize vitamins enough. The pills just suck every last drop of b-complex and iron and calcium right out. I found out I was anemic and was pretty healthy looking.
Also, that using-detox pattern creates whats called INERTIA. Sleeping 5 hours with the pills 12 hours when low. When you quit taking them the fatigue grabs--bone tired I used to say. But if you stay inactive you get worse and more tired (inert).
Sweetie I can't emphasize vitamins enough. The pills just suck every last drop of b-complex and iron and calcium right out. I found out I was anemic and was pretty healthy looking.
Also, that using-detox pattern creates whats called INERTIA. Sleeping 5 hours with the pills 12 hours when low. When you quit taking them the fatigue grabs--bone tired I used to say. But if you stay inactive you get worse and more tired (inert).
Is that what ya call "tough love"? seems a little too tough to me and no love.
My problem is I can't sleep.........I get about 2 to 3 hrs sleep a night..I'm on day 9.5 clean. The whole day is a struggle because I know if I take some Vicodan I'll have tons of energy, and sleep tonight.
I don't have a good answer other than try to get your self mentally prepared for it, you know it's comming, psych your self up, get your blood pumping, and set a short term goal like I will do all of the above first, wait an hr and if I'm not out of the woods take 1/2 of what you want to take.
Good luck,
My problem is I can't sleep.........I get about 2 to 3 hrs sleep a night..I'm on day 9.5 clean. The whole day is a struggle because I know if I take some Vicodan I'll have tons of energy, and sleep tonight.
I don't have a good answer other than try to get your self mentally prepared for it, you know it's comming, psych your self up, get your blood pumping, and set a short term goal like I will do all of the above first, wait an hr and if I'm not out of the woods take 1/2 of what you want to take.
Good luck,
owch Kiwirain
I'm sure you mean well, and if I knew why I continually go back to pills even after 6 w/d's under my belt I would be one step ahead of the game. My only answer is that I like to be superwomen. In the beginning, each time it starts out that the pills give me so much "more" energy that I feel I accomplish so much. As far as getting the pills, in Canada, the pills that are my doc are easily attainable at any pharmacy over the counter. If you read my first post on feb/14 you'll see what I mean. I may need the tough love approach and I understand where you are coming from but I can't tell you why I do it even though I feel so ashamed and guilty. Some days as I'm taking my dose I actually gag on the pills and think eventually I'll just end up choking on them instead of dieing from liver failure, now wouldn't that be just so ironic.
Anyway, I'm here, I searching, no begging for the strength to give it up. In my heart of hearts I feel like I am now on slow death watch, watching myself. I am not looking for pitty mind you. been there done that. Only looking for answers for why I'm the way I am. I have done lots of soul searching. I've got a great life. I'm a successful business women, great husband, great kids etc. etc. so why in gods name would I continually do this to myself. If I really wanted this to be a poor me deal, wouldn't I be telling people, wouldn't I be going in and out of detox to get better? maybe some part of me wants to die, I honest have no idea. Just here looking for answers. thinking maybe if I talk it out enough with people who've been there I'll find the answer. 15 years of addiction is a long time, but I guess it could be worse right.
I don't know.
Again thank you to all of you who are posting replies and trying to help. critisism, encouragement, everything will be filtered through this thick head of mine and eventually I will get it, I promise myself...more prayers please.
and blessings to each of you
I'm sure you mean well, and if I knew why I continually go back to pills even after 6 w/d's under my belt I would be one step ahead of the game. My only answer is that I like to be superwomen. In the beginning, each time it starts out that the pills give me so much "more" energy that I feel I accomplish so much. As far as getting the pills, in Canada, the pills that are my doc are easily attainable at any pharmacy over the counter. If you read my first post on feb/14 you'll see what I mean. I may need the tough love approach and I understand where you are coming from but I can't tell you why I do it even though I feel so ashamed and guilty. Some days as I'm taking my dose I actually gag on the pills and think eventually I'll just end up choking on them instead of dieing from liver failure, now wouldn't that be just so ironic.
Anyway, I'm here, I searching, no begging for the strength to give it up. In my heart of hearts I feel like I am now on slow death watch, watching myself. I am not looking for pitty mind you. been there done that. Only looking for answers for why I'm the way I am. I have done lots of soul searching. I've got a great life. I'm a successful business women, great husband, great kids etc. etc. so why in gods name would I continually do this to myself. If I really wanted this to be a poor me deal, wouldn't I be telling people, wouldn't I be going in and out of detox to get better? maybe some part of me wants to die, I honest have no idea. Just here looking for answers. thinking maybe if I talk it out enough with people who've been there I'll find the answer. 15 years of addiction is a long time, but I guess it could be worse right.
I don't know.
Again thank you to all of you who are posting replies and trying to help. critisism, encouragement, everything will be filtered through this thick head of mine and eventually I will get it, I promise myself...more prayers please.
and blessings to each of you
I can tell you why you do it, feel guilty, do it again, feel guilty... you are an addict, thats why we all do or did it. You are not alone in this, just about everyone here has felt that way. But you do not have to continue, you really don't. Its up to you.
Best Regards,
Tom
Best Regards,
Tom
hi tom,
just read your post and what you said we all do it or have done it, to me is exactly correct!!
in active addiction i did the same thing. had to take my pills every morning. after, i hated myself for it. felt guilty and all that comes with it.
i can totally understand how the one poster feels however, for some its a tuffer road than for others.
if it was that easy as the one poster asumes it is, well hell none of would be here imo.
this doens't happen over night by no means. i know it didnt happen over night for me and took me a lot of yrs to finally get with the program.
just read your post and what you said we all do it or have done it, to me is exactly correct!!
in active addiction i did the same thing. had to take my pills every morning. after, i hated myself for it. felt guilty and all that comes with it.
i can totally understand how the one poster feels however, for some its a tuffer road than for others.
if it was that easy as the one poster asumes it is, well hell none of would be here imo.
this doens't happen over night by no means. i know it didnt happen over night for me and took me a lot of yrs to finally get with the program.
betternow,
you may want to find an addiction specialist. if your doctor is telling you that you dont have a problem and you know you do can you just imagine all of the other patients he is treating!! wow!!
i would at least start by seeing an addiction specialist.
wish you well
you may want to find an addiction specialist. if your doctor is telling you that you dont have a problem and you know you do can you just imagine all of the other patients he is treating!! wow!!
i would at least start by seeing an addiction specialist.
wish you well
thank you Tom. I know I'm an addict. I just don't know how to quit for good. This has been pretty much the most difficult time for me as far as stopping. I had some bad scares, I was clean a long time and swore I'd never go back the last time. I felt so good. I was so proud of myself. I thought I would be ok. Then I had to have surgery again and it just spiralled from there. I tried to stop and not take anymore after the pain had settled enough but it just got out of control AGAIN. Now I keep thinking may this is my destiney. Just keep taking the vitamines, live as well as I can, take the pills and hope I live another 10 years.
I just wish there was an answer that I could say, ya thats why. Ok I am an addict, but there must be some reason physically, mentally that makes me this way or am I just a weak? I don't believe that I am weak accept when it comes to thes pills. As I type I see that this is simply a circle that I am going round and round and maybe that is truely the answer. I am simply and addict. end of story.
I just wish there was an answer that I could say, ya thats why. Ok I am an addict, but there must be some reason physically, mentally that makes me this way or am I just a weak? I don't believe that I am weak accept when it comes to thes pills. As I type I see that this is simply a circle that I am going round and round and maybe that is truely the answer. I am simply and addict. end of story.
I think for most people (and this is just my opinion here) there are underlying reason we use and become addicted, ie, depression, or something else, A big hurdle is finding out what those things are and addressing them.
Best Regards,
Tom
Best Regards,
Tom
