| QUOTE |
| Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238 The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an ever bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first, toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen my own exaggerated suffering. |
The Daily Reflections is a part of my every day recovery. When I chair a meeting I reach for this before any other, namely because I'm lazy and I can relate pretty much anything in my recovery to anything. I live my daily recovery out loud, so to speak, and the folks that have cruised through ARG have been privvy to it--whether they wanted to read my recovery or not. I've posted here many times of the significance of it in my recovery, and today is no exception. Of course, I tend to look at things in reverse, though, 'cause I'm different than everyone else... ~smirk~
My SU (Spousal Unit) is out of town visiting her Alanon Codep family this weekend. My oldest is at the beach with her husband; My youngest is studying for engineering exams up at school and living life as a sober college student--something I STILL don't get, because when I was his age, oh the stories...LOL. Anyway, so a year ago I'd have been on a 4-day bender to beat all benders and a promise to myself that I'd stop after this one. And a couple days of horrendous hangover spawned by no food and all alcohol would be making me wish I were dead, but somehow having to suffer through another, "Sick and Tired." And the self-loathing, self-pity, self-analysis, self promising, self-seeking, and dishonesty would rage on. Again.
Today I am sober--and spiritually fit to the extent that I have lost the obsession--contingent, blah, blah, blah. But I'm also just a little bit smug--no, hell, I'm DAMNED smug, because I have almost a year of sobriety through the gift of AA and MY HP, and I'm anything BUT pitying and self-loathing! I'm different--because I'm sober, centered, and spiritual. Almost to the point of being self-pious--but THAT, as I've found from experience, is a sure ticket straight to the darkness.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
