I saw your post on redogs thread and wanted to tell you that I think you're pretty wonderful. 8 days is 8 days closer to having your life back.
You said you're feeling a little lonely...what can you do to correct that?
Thinking about you...
Lisa
Hi Sharonn & Lisa
Sharonn, your doing great!!
And thank you both for your support, I Love you both!!
Love Dottie
Sharonn, your doing great!!
And thank you both for your support, I Love you both!!
Love Dottie
Hi Dottie...so what's new on the husband front? Are you ok?
Love you too
Love you too
I need to get back into my singing..I miss all my contacts and old fellow band members..also, my best friend lives in Jersey, but I don't get to see her.My Bf is tired at night, so I will start painting again in my free time...only work 2 days a week....my daughter works 6 days a week and I really miss her...although she is only an hour away...I don't get to see her much...I guess it's the proverbial "empty nest syndrome"...As I always say, one door closes and another opens...maybe I should do something completely different....I'm open..Take care, Love, Sharonn P.S. It's not healthy when you start cleaning the bathroom tile with a toothbrush....sad
Hi Lisa
Thanks for your concern, just got in from work, so I Haven't seen him & don't want too.
I'm OK..........Cuz there is no altenative, he's been trying to beat me down for almost 39 years, I will never let him win that battle, he may win it on a financial standpoint.........but that's about it.
He can't take away who I am, He wants a yes woman LMAO...........i'M NOT HER, Don't know why he would ever think that would change.
If I gave up me now......I Might as well be dead & i'm not ready for that quite yet
I Don't know how this will play out, But I'm still in the guest room & just haven't figured anything else out yet.
Love Dottie
Thanks for your concern, just got in from work, so I Haven't seen him & don't want too.
I'm OK..........Cuz there is no altenative, he's been trying to beat me down for almost 39 years, I will never let him win that battle, he may win it on a financial standpoint.........but that's about it.
He can't take away who I am, He wants a yes woman LMAO...........i'M NOT HER, Don't know why he would ever think that would change.
If I gave up me now......I Might as well be dead & i'm not ready for that quite yet
I Don't know how this will play out, But I'm still in the guest room & just haven't figured anything else out yet.
Love Dottie
He thinks you could be a yes woman? You would think after 39 years he would figure you out by then...must be a really stupid man.
I thought about this thought too. Could be that your addiction made you a yes woman for awhile...you know, don't rock the boat so that you could keep using? I was like that for so long. I didn't want anyone to get too close to the truth so to keep that from happening, I just let everyone do and think what they wanted.
I like honesty and clarity so much better. If I piss them off now..too bad, this is the real me, take it or leave it.
(hug)
Cowgirl
I thought about this thought too. Could be that your addiction made you a yes woman for awhile...you know, don't rock the boat so that you could keep using? I was like that for so long. I didn't want anyone to get too close to the truth so to keep that from happening, I just let everyone do and think what they wanted.
I like honesty and clarity so much better. If I piss them off now..too bad, this is the real me, take it or leave it.
(hug)
Cowgirl
Oh Lisa
Your Getting to know me so well, thats exactly it, If he didn't rock my boat, I Didn't rock his..........The funny part of this whole thing is nobody knew xcept 2 people on this board that I Divorced this man in 1984.........before my addiction came to full steam, We remained the best of friends from 1300 miles away for the sake of our boys, who grew up to be wonderful productive human beings, all the while this man begged me to come back, Way too much water under the bridge.........But I Keep thinking whats the point at my age to bother doing anything else.........It's quite a quandry & no easy answers.
I Only wish my boys knew how much I loved them, to stay alone for so long, I Had the oppurtunity to be happy again.............but I Pushed it away.
I Don't think I'm sorry about that, just wish I hadn't been so much like my mother.........Another stubborn Irishman, Kids first, The grave for her at 49 It just all seems so stupid right now
Love Dottie
Your Getting to know me so well, thats exactly it, If he didn't rock my boat, I Didn't rock his..........The funny part of this whole thing is nobody knew xcept 2 people on this board that I Divorced this man in 1984.........before my addiction came to full steam, We remained the best of friends from 1300 miles away for the sake of our boys, who grew up to be wonderful productive human beings, all the while this man begged me to come back, Way too much water under the bridge.........But I Keep thinking whats the point at my age to bother doing anything else.........It's quite a quandry & no easy answers.
I Only wish my boys knew how much I loved them, to stay alone for so long, I Had the oppurtunity to be happy again.............but I Pushed it away.
I Don't think I'm sorry about that, just wish I hadn't been so much like my mother.........Another stubborn Irishman, Kids first, The grave for her at 49 It just all seems so stupid right now
Love Dottie
edit sorry wrong sharon i meant to post too
Dottie,I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you.Such a hard situation.Being dependent on somebody financially sucks!!! My husband hsa been the big money maker always.Ive usually worked just part tiem after the kids went to school.I didnt work when my children were little,i refused,i wanted to stay home and raise them myself! But...i paid a price for that as well,i had to depend on him for everything financially.And i can honestly say he used that against me more than once.I still only work part time and he still pays for the bulk of everything,and if we were to split,i wouldnt have a nice nest egg to help me do it.I would be just like you,in the guest room weighing out my options,trying to figure out what to do.I know just how you must be feeling right now.And the fact he hasnt come to you to try and talk this trough,to try and make things "right" well...i know how stubborn men can be.You hold your ground,dont give in,youre doing the right thing.I hope things work out,which ever way that happens.You sound like a very strong intelligent lady,dont give that up for anything!Take care~KIM
Hi Kim,
You are so right,When the kids were little, I did the same thing worked part time, but spent all the money I made on the kids anyhow, Then I went full time & started to figure out I Had to end this, by the grace of God I Had a decent settlement coming & got myself away from this, When I 1st got to Fl. I had a good job, but the Co. folded.........What kills me Is I don't ask for a blessed thing, he's always been so damm cheap I wouldn't waste my time.
We are not even fighting over money, This is all because he's a 64 yr.old fu*king baby....who wants to be waited on hand & foot LMAO
He's almost 10 years older than me, I Work too, but even with my feet swollen like baloons, this guy thinks i'm gonna wait on him.........I'm lucky I Make it too work for christs sake, He's cheap but he's so selfish.........He told my son that I treat him like s***, That was unfair & untrue, but rather than bad mouth the SOB, I just shut up........I Won't go down that road with the kids. Thanks so much for your concern, it helps to talk to someone who understands.
Love Dottie
You are so right,When the kids were little, I did the same thing worked part time, but spent all the money I made on the kids anyhow, Then I went full time & started to figure out I Had to end this, by the grace of God I Had a decent settlement coming & got myself away from this, When I 1st got to Fl. I had a good job, but the Co. folded.........What kills me Is I don't ask for a blessed thing, he's always been so damm cheap I wouldn't waste my time.
We are not even fighting over money, This is all because he's a 64 yr.old fu*king baby....who wants to be waited on hand & foot LMAO
He's almost 10 years older than me, I Work too, but even with my feet swollen like baloons, this guy thinks i'm gonna wait on him.........I'm lucky I Make it too work for christs sake, He's cheap but he's so selfish.........He told my son that I treat him like s***, That was unfair & untrue, but rather than bad mouth the SOB, I just shut up........I Won't go down that road with the kids. Thanks so much for your concern, it helps to talk to someone who understands.
Love Dottie
Dottie,
The thing that pisses me off is that these men are masters at looking like Prince Charming to the rest of the world. My family thinks my husband is the greatest...and he is to them. I have never felt right about telling my family what goes on behind closed doors...that just causes more problems and would put me in the middle. So I keep my mouth shut. For instance, everything was going okay (or so I thought) for a few days. Yesterday morning, when I left for work, I hit the button for the trip meter on my odometer and, YEP, sure enough, he had reset it the night before so he could check my mileage I drove at work the next morning. It shouldn't be a big deal because I have nothing to hide but it's just the idea of it. All of those little things just add up into one big ball of bulls***. I had more freedom as a teenager living with my mom!!
Okay...sorry to go off on my own tangent! :) I had to let my frustrations out a little bit.
How are you feeling? Is your pain any better today? I just really hope you find a way to get out soon. You deserve to be happy. Alot of times when my husband is giving me s*** I think to myself "What would Dottie do?" LOL...seriously, I do! :) So instead of those bracelets that say "WWJD" I need one that says "WWDD"!! LMAO
Have a good day Dottie! And walk around in front of the idiot with a big grin on your face...it might drive him crazy...wondering what you're up to. He might even be afraid to go to sleep!
Love,
Jodi
The thing that pisses me off is that these men are masters at looking like Prince Charming to the rest of the world. My family thinks my husband is the greatest...and he is to them. I have never felt right about telling my family what goes on behind closed doors...that just causes more problems and would put me in the middle. So I keep my mouth shut. For instance, everything was going okay (or so I thought) for a few days. Yesterday morning, when I left for work, I hit the button for the trip meter on my odometer and, YEP, sure enough, he had reset it the night before so he could check my mileage I drove at work the next morning. It shouldn't be a big deal because I have nothing to hide but it's just the idea of it. All of those little things just add up into one big ball of bulls***. I had more freedom as a teenager living with my mom!!
Okay...sorry to go off on my own tangent! :) I had to let my frustrations out a little bit.
How are you feeling? Is your pain any better today? I just really hope you find a way to get out soon. You deserve to be happy. Alot of times when my husband is giving me s*** I think to myself "What would Dottie do?" LOL...seriously, I do! :) So instead of those bracelets that say "WWJD" I need one that says "WWDD"!! LMAO
Have a good day Dottie! And walk around in front of the idiot with a big grin on your face...it might drive him crazy...wondering what you're up to. He might even be afraid to go to sleep!
Love,
Jodi
Jodi
You made my day sweetheart, I'm still in horrendous pain but managing OK On that front, LMAO........I'm going to email you when I Get out of work, gotta go in soon
Let me know if that's OK Though........Don't want to piss off your control freak LMAO.........The odomoter on the car huh? now that's really fu*ked up
These guys must think they are God........How insecure is that??
Love you much
hang in there
Dottie
You made my day sweetheart, I'm still in horrendous pain but managing OK On that front, LMAO........I'm going to email you when I Get out of work, gotta go in soon
Let me know if that's OK Though........Don't want to piss off your control freak LMAO.........The odomoter on the car huh? now that's really fu*ked up
These guys must think they are God........How insecure is that??
Love you much
hang in there
Dottie
Dottie,
You can email me anytime. I have passworded the computer. And even if he does get into it, I don't think I care anymore. Maybe that's the kick in the a** I need to get out. Have a good day at work and I'll be looking for that email! :)
You can email me anytime. I have passworded the computer. And even if he does get into it, I don't think I care anymore. Maybe that's the kick in the a** I need to get out. Have a good day at work and I'll be looking for that email! :)
I truly beleive that women stay in marriages ,because of moeny ,,how do I live in the style im am used to,a little rm above a garage ,all alone ,no moeny old,on and on ....no work it is very scarey ,,when he left I had a nest egg,and look nice,,well to me ,,ha ha ,,but for alot it is very sad and hard ,,dottie I feel your pain ,really I do ,,love to you poopie...oo and so call ,,famoues words ,,I THINK I LOVE HIM OR HER ,,,,not learn to love ones self ....thats the key to a good marriage ,,,I mean learn to love yourself ...frist poopie
Dear Sharon:
Home now.
I'm so sorry you are feeling lonely. I'm trying to get Dottie to move close to me, move on down south. We 3 could have a ball. When I was using, I just didn't get into what my friends were into like being clean. Now, my best friend has become an alcoholic, I have tried with what I know, I am not a therapist, I wish someone would tell me what to do to help her, I would try it all. Her husband has just given up on her so I only call her sometimes before noon, if I call after that, she's already slurring her words, if she calls at night - she's crying. I'm not saying this in a mean way. She has never taken any drugs, that wonderful, b/c her Mother was an alcoholic and an addict and her Father is an addict so did she even have a chance? We have been best friends for 36 years, we helped raise each other children, helped each other though our divorces when we were young.
I do have to defend her. She's had a lot of crap. That old saying "drive someone to drink - I think (honestly) that was the case with her.She's got at leat 10 things happening in her life and b/c her Mother was never in the picture, her, being the oldest daughter took care of the 3 younger sisters and brother.. I won't go into all of her problems, they are hers to tell and I don't want to post them on board but she has been through hell. I just can't see her like I used to - it makes me so tired and I used to hae to eat 3 Lortabs just to talk with her on the phone. - I have even told her about the alcoholic recovery board offered here but she won't buy a computer b/c of her husband. She also will not admit she's an alcoholic, gets mad when I bring it up.
Anyway, now I feel like I'm living up here in the country - away from all the friends I had when I lived in the same place all of my life but there are lots of things growing in Greenvile now, lots of things to do, so we would never get bored.
We have more than Main Street but Main Street is now beautiful, have condos, restaurants really nice, in between and Fuddruckers) , dress shops, unique gift shops, a produce and plant indoor/outdoor shop, they are now bulding a theatre on main Street.
Within walking distance a AA ball team is being built, almost finished with condos around, shops and restaurants.
This is a fun place to live. There is s'thing going on every w'end - concerts, etc. We have one shopping ctr who closes it's shops down at 6 and opens the parking lot to Shjaggin' on Augusta.(Shagging the the SC dance) I can't shag, I have to fake it but I love it and it's free, no drinking, if you don't want to be around it, just non-alcoholic drinks. Ths shopping center pays the band.
I love to watch the shaggers, the really good ones, wished my body would move lie that. Unfortunately, I was dancing in the era when we danced apart, disco and other dances so I never learned the art of dancing "together" I would love to take dancing lessons but my husband doesn't care to. He dances at weddings and when we go to the shag but wants no part of lessons.
So, you don't have to be lonely. Just call me or I'll call you but wouldn't it be fun to all live close enough to visit?
I want all to be happy and I care so much for you and Dottie and Sharon, we seem to fit. Not that I don't feel really close to others on the board, I love them just as much but they have young famililies (the really fun years) and wouldn;t even ak of Denae with such beautiful young family to move not that she would, she loves herself and what she's doing. I have nothing to tell her that she doens't lready know. Can't blame her, she's having a ball and her children are having a ball with her. She's molding these beautiful twins and the other precious little girl into I hope what she is, a caring compassionate woman.
Then there we re , the empty nesters, I know I miss those days and I want them back sometimes. My son is here but really just his clothes since he' a a paid firefighter now and a g'friend in Central, SC who is not passing classes for epecial ed so he there every night helping her when he not at the fire dept.
Let you go, I have said enough to where you all know how I feel - I know I say too much, I just honestly want all of you to know that I mean what I say, I would be caught in a lie if I was into telling lies b/c I do talk too much - You are sweet, the ones who tell me you love my long post. I think they woud be good to read if you have trouble sleeping haha. I do not sugar coat things, I just want you to be happy. I want it for me, too but at the time, I'm okay but don't know when another flare will come and I will be calling on you.
Hope to hear your voices soon
Signing off now to un-pack but will be happy if anyone has time to talk on the phone.
Love you,
Jean/Your Twin
Home now.
I'm so sorry you are feeling lonely. I'm trying to get Dottie to move close to me, move on down south. We 3 could have a ball. When I was using, I just didn't get into what my friends were into like being clean. Now, my best friend has become an alcoholic, I have tried with what I know, I am not a therapist, I wish someone would tell me what to do to help her, I would try it all. Her husband has just given up on her so I only call her sometimes before noon, if I call after that, she's already slurring her words, if she calls at night - she's crying. I'm not saying this in a mean way. She has never taken any drugs, that wonderful, b/c her Mother was an alcoholic and an addict and her Father is an addict so did she even have a chance? We have been best friends for 36 years, we helped raise each other children, helped each other though our divorces when we were young.
I do have to defend her. She's had a lot of crap. That old saying "drive someone to drink - I think (honestly) that was the case with her.She's got at leat 10 things happening in her life and b/c her Mother was never in the picture, her, being the oldest daughter took care of the 3 younger sisters and brother.. I won't go into all of her problems, they are hers to tell and I don't want to post them on board but she has been through hell. I just can't see her like I used to - it makes me so tired and I used to hae to eat 3 Lortabs just to talk with her on the phone. - I have even told her about the alcoholic recovery board offered here but she won't buy a computer b/c of her husband. She also will not admit she's an alcoholic, gets mad when I bring it up.
Anyway, now I feel like I'm living up here in the country - away from all the friends I had when I lived in the same place all of my life but there are lots of things growing in Greenvile now, lots of things to do, so we would never get bored.
We have more than Main Street but Main Street is now beautiful, have condos, restaurants really nice, in between and Fuddruckers) , dress shops, unique gift shops, a produce and plant indoor/outdoor shop, they are now bulding a theatre on main Street.
Within walking distance a AA ball team is being built, almost finished with condos around, shops and restaurants.
This is a fun place to live. There is s'thing going on every w'end - concerts, etc. We have one shopping ctr who closes it's shops down at 6 and opens the parking lot to Shjaggin' on Augusta.(Shagging the the SC dance) I can't shag, I have to fake it but I love it and it's free, no drinking, if you don't want to be around it, just non-alcoholic drinks. Ths shopping center pays the band.
I love to watch the shaggers, the really good ones, wished my body would move lie that. Unfortunately, I was dancing in the era when we danced apart, disco and other dances so I never learned the art of dancing "together" I would love to take dancing lessons but my husband doesn't care to. He dances at weddings and when we go to the shag but wants no part of lessons.
So, you don't have to be lonely. Just call me or I'll call you but wouldn't it be fun to all live close enough to visit?
I want all to be happy and I care so much for you and Dottie and Sharon, we seem to fit. Not that I don't feel really close to others on the board, I love them just as much but they have young famililies (the really fun years) and wouldn;t even ak of Denae with such beautiful young family to move not that she would, she loves herself and what she's doing. I have nothing to tell her that she doens't lready know. Can't blame her, she's having a ball and her children are having a ball with her. She's molding these beautiful twins and the other precious little girl into I hope what she is, a caring compassionate woman.
Then there we re , the empty nesters, I know I miss those days and I want them back sometimes. My son is here but really just his clothes since he' a a paid firefighter now and a g'friend in Central, SC who is not passing classes for epecial ed so he there every night helping her when he not at the fire dept.
Let you go, I have said enough to where you all know how I feel - I know I say too much, I just honestly want all of you to know that I mean what I say, I would be caught in a lie if I was into telling lies b/c I do talk too much - You are sweet, the ones who tell me you love my long post. I think they woud be good to read if you have trouble sleeping haha. I do not sugar coat things, I just want you to be happy. I want it for me, too but at the time, I'm okay but don't know when another flare will come and I will be calling on you.
Hope to hear your voices soon
Signing off now to un-pack but will be happy if anyone has time to talk on the phone.
Love you,
Jean/Your Twin
Jodi
won't be i till after 11:oopm but I will write.
Jean , I'm going to TRY To call you on my break between 6:30 & 7:00pm
Love to all
Dottie
won't be i till after 11:oopm but I will write.
Jean , I'm going to TRY To call you on my break between 6:30 & 7:00pm
Love to all
Dottie
Thanks Poopie,
You are so right
Will write more when I Get home
Love Dottie
You are so right
Will write more when I Get home
Love Dottie
Dottie...I'm so glad that you and Jodi connected..you have a lot in common.
I'm here, anytime you want to talk. You know my addy.
You have a long road ahead of you but for recovery sake, you sound like your doing the right thing. Just don't let this stress and loneliness get ahead of you. Make sure you're talking to people who understand. Like Jodi, Sharon, Kim or me....
We love you
Cowgirl
I'm here, anytime you want to talk. You know my addy.
You have a long road ahead of you but for recovery sake, you sound like your doing the right thing. Just don't let this stress and loneliness get ahead of you. Make sure you're talking to people who understand. Like Jodi, Sharon, Kim or me....
We love you
Cowgirl
Dottie,you hit the nail on the head,INSECURITY,thats what its all about.All this controlling is their insecurities. My husband is a little controlling,not too bad,but a little.He is a very negative man though and very insecure.We've been married 23 years,just a couple months ago we were having a real bad time.I told him i was leaving,i told him my kids were no longer little adn that i no longer had to stay for their sakes,and he said"i always knew you were going to leave me"ummmm hello!!!! he ALWAYS knew i was going to leave him,he has been carrying that around for 23 friggin years!!!! I told him to open his eys,i hadnt been hanging around for 23 years just WAITIG to leave,i had been hanging around 23 years trying to make it work.But his insecurities basically hold him back from "giving" himself,hes always held back.He has always said hes never known how to love.Sometimes i relly feel sorry for him,but...why do they hurt the ones they love the most,the ones that love them the most,the ones that should be cherished not treated like s***? I dont know,i guess i'll never understand.It sounds like too many of us here have alot in common,and in this case,its not a good thing.I hope things are looking better for you tonight,and i hope youre feet arent hurting sa bad.Take care~KIM
