Hi everyone... had a revelatory experience this weekend I wanted to share... was on the phone w/my best friend & he mentioned that the last few times he'd seen me I hadnt been drinking... I figured hey he's my best friend right? so I told him I've been trying not to drink b/c I'm an alcoholic. He said "I know you are." OK, no huge surprise there, but then he said "So am I." Knocked me for a hell of a loop, I hardly ever see him drink to excess. He told me that since he usually comes by my place after work & will have to drive home, he can't drink (he had one alcohol-related arrest several years ago and is terrified of another), and that he'd always be pis*ed that he couldn't drink when he'd come by and would then go home and get drunk. And thinking about it, almost everytime I see him when he's NOT driving, he does drink a lot. I just usually see him when he has to drive so I never really noticed. I feel a little crappy that I didn't know...
Anyway he says he's not ready to deal with it right now... so I'm not sure what will happen with that. He's the one friend I have that I can always count on to be there, I hope he will decide that he doesn't want to drink anymore too but I know that's up to him. I'm still in a bit of shock about this because we've been friends for so long yet I had no idea at all. I'm glad I told him, and that he told me, but I'm feeling a bit dazed right now.
Also... unfortunately someone else I love lied straight to my face regarding his sub use... VWGirl you'll know who I mean. It made me sad...
Hi CB,
How are you doing girl?
YGM
Ginge
How are you doing girl?
YGM
Ginge
CB this is a wonderful thing - I mean, I'm sorry your friend has a problem but maybe there is some light here for both fo you.
I know with your situation that its difficult for you to go to meetings or anythng, perhaps in time your friend will be the support you need. You may be able to help each other. Right now he says he's not ready to deal with it, that's ok at least he admitted to you and that's a HUGE step. Just let him know you're there to talk about anytime he wants or is ready - you may be amazed at what comes out of this one day.
I'm also so proud that you were able to tell HIM that's great. I was hoping to get together with my best friend this weekend and confess all LOL but it doesn't look like our schedules are going to gel - oh well its all for a reason right?
I'm so proud of you CB - take care
Idgie
I know with your situation that its difficult for you to go to meetings or anythng, perhaps in time your friend will be the support you need. You may be able to help each other. Right now he says he's not ready to deal with it, that's ok at least he admitted to you and that's a HUGE step. Just let him know you're there to talk about anytime he wants or is ready - you may be amazed at what comes out of this one day.
I'm also so proud that you were able to tell HIM that's great. I was hoping to get together with my best friend this weekend and confess all LOL but it doesn't look like our schedules are going to gel - oh well its all for a reason right?
I'm so proud of you CB - take care
Idgie
CB ~ by staying sober you will be an example of attraction to your friend...sobriety, I feel, does not need to promoted ~ also I know denial runs deep and when those I love are in denial, whether it be in addiction or other aspects of their life...it is painful, I've been told that usually family members can't hear the message from other family members, it usually takes some other person who is close to them to in order for their minds to open.
Thanks guys, I am hoping that if he sees me doing well it will kind of inspire him in the same direction... I'm really glad I told him (even though he apparently already knew), and that he told me, though of course I wish I could help him NOW. I know though that he needs to be ready himself. Mostly I feel bad that I was so clueless about it. The other situation, VW I know he will have to face it & come to terms on his own, it just really brought it home for me when he lied to me. We're having dinner tomorrow night, hopefully it can just be a nice pleasant evening. I will not mention it again, maybe "let go and let god" can apply here too. Thanks as always you guys for your support and encouragement... it helps!!
