Should I Trust That He Will Stop

Hi,

I am hoping someone has some answers for me. I recently found out that my husband has been snorting coke for over a year and we just had a baby 3 months ago. I dont know what to do.

It was just a fluke that I found out, I needed some change for my daughters school lunch, my husband was in the shower, so I went in his pants pocket and to my surprise, guess what I found? So, I put it back (STUPID ME) and was waiting for him to come out of the shower (THINKING HE WAS GOING TO TELL ME). He Didn't.
So about 10 mins later he said that he had to go the washroom, so I waited about 5 mins and went upstairs to the bathroom. As I walked in, he threw something behind him. I asked what he was doing he said nothing (HE HAD THE MOST GUILTY LOOK ON HIS FACE). I asked him again, he said nothing. Pissed off I walked away.
When he finally came downstairs (20 mins Later), I again asked what he was doing. He looked at me and said you want to know what I was doing and walked back upstairs. When he came down, he showed me some paper about a sex potion. I laughed and told him he must think I'm stupid. He went on for over a half hour that he wasnt doing anything, it was all in my head. So I told him that when he wanted to tell me the truth to come and talk to me and I went upstairs to my bedroom.
About 10 mins later he comes up, pleading that he wasn't doing anything (He was talking like he was screwed up or scared s***less that he was being found out). I asked him point blank if he was doing cocaine and he looked at me all surprised I would say that and said "I would never do anything like that". I asked him to swear on his newborn son's life that he wasnt doing it and he did. I was so upset I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldnt believe he would swear on his own son's life.
So I looked at him and said "Let me tell you a little story" and I continued with how I needed change for my daughter, went in his pants and found the coke. His mouth dropped and he finally admitted it. He tried to tell me that it was only for the past 3 months every 4-5 days,after me investigating and checking his phone bills he admiited to the truth being that he was doing it daily for over a year.
He did while I was in labour. I asked who he was getting it from and it was from a very close friend that I never suspected of doing it either. Slowly, I am finding out more and more.

I do not trust him anymore and am not sure if I still want to be with him. The past year or so has been one big lie. Nothing that was special to me is special anymore. I dont believe a word he says. He hid it like no other. I smoke pot and have tried other non-hard drugs and thought I was pretty smart, but I had no clue. Now that I look back I see the signs like the weightloss, the runny nose, taking 30 mins to go to the washroom, excessive sweating while he sleeps etc.

Its been about a month now and he says he hasnt touched it. He says he is glad I found out. I told him that if I ever find out hes done it or even talked to the person who was supplying it to him, I will leave and he will never see his son again and that I would make sure everyone around him is aware including his family, friends and his work.

I have taken over the finances and he has no access to money except for what I give him. I have been checking every thing, I am constantly looking at his eyes to see if the pupils are dilated, I check his weight (He has gained about 12 lbs in a month). I feel like a prison warden at times, but he made me like this.

Should I believe he will stop or am I just dilluting myself

Help
Hmmmmm...

http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/message_...=ST&f=16&t=2381

Look familiar?

You don't have to go through the trouble of retyyping everything. Just answer your own post and it will spring back to the top.