Hi, this is my first time doin any kind of recovery thing on the computer. I've been on heroin on and off for 3 years. Not alot of time to some people but a life time to me. I've been to rehab and prison because of it. I'm two days clean today and really really want to stop, I've been doin a whole lot of crying. I actually took a half a suboxene yesterday to help me calm down. I just need people to talk to. Advice or words of encouragment. Everybody i know are addicts and i dont want to associate with them. I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter who needs her mother. I cant do this alone.
Star41086@aol.com
Be careful wi the subbies jussy as there are ways to stop using them in a measured manner sweetheart..Try,n,get a detox set up using them,,,keep posting,the smart people will all be around soon...love Eck..x
Hi Jussy mate, im sorry that your going through such a bad time it sucks dont it? First things first , welcome to the board, just call me Kitty everyone else does. Almost exactly this time last year i found this board and the people on it with their various stories of how they came to be at the end of their roads and more importantly how they found their way back. They made me laugh when i was crying, prayed for me when i was falling , gave me a bollocking if i needed it and friendship and strength all the time. Eckie was the 1st person to say hi, that man is a Diamond sooo funny and lovely , soon probably you'll get a post from Brynda that chick is amazing, she's lived the life she probably has a heart the size of a bear lol. Im not sure where your from love but myself eckie,jonesy (another crackin chick) Reshieand katnipuk are all from the uk then ya got the wonderful Brynda, MnM(Mum'n'More) btw a more perfect name could not be picked lol and there's Jackofheartz what he does not know about methadone isnt worth knowing, he's always straight with ya, infact he was the 1st to answer my post. also you'll find mainly mark hes a real nice dude theyre from the USA for the most part, plus loads of other great peeps ive forgotten to jot down from all over the world.
Eckie was right Jussy about the subs. If you can go cold turkey with a little bit of sub to take off the edge ,more power to ya but would it not be a thought tosee a doc about stabilizing you on the subs for a while then coming down slowly? How much gear were you on? and 3 yrs IS mighty long enough for that $h! to get its claws in good and deep ,but you'll beat it mate, i gotta feeling about you. I have a daughter too shes 9 now and i love her very much. Its good youre doing this now while shes still young,god what a life you could have clean! You'll do it. The crying thing, man i cried a river, most was guilt some was pain other times who knows! There is something called POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME (P.A.W.S) for short its just starting to be accepted in the uk it can leave us depressed, weak, tired, can lower immune system so you catch every bug going, insomnia(thats what gets me worst), sensitivity to light and/or sound and the list goes on but it WILL PASS. You can look it up on the net ask peeps on here about it too. Well i'll sign off for now no doubt everyone will say hi, youre not alone anymore love, we're rooting for you , big hugs Kitty xxxx
Eckie was right Jussy about the subs. If you can go cold turkey with a little bit of sub to take off the edge ,more power to ya but would it not be a thought tosee a doc about stabilizing you on the subs for a while then coming down slowly? How much gear were you on? and 3 yrs IS mighty long enough for that $h! to get its claws in good and deep ,but you'll beat it mate, i gotta feeling about you. I have a daughter too shes 9 now and i love her very much. Its good youre doing this now while shes still young,god what a life you could have clean! You'll do it. The crying thing, man i cried a river, most was guilt some was pain other times who knows! There is something called POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME (P.A.W.S) for short its just starting to be accepted in the uk it can leave us depressed, weak, tired, can lower immune system so you catch every bug going, insomnia(thats what gets me worst), sensitivity to light and/or sound and the list goes on but it WILL PASS. You can look it up on the net ask peeps on here about it too. Well i'll sign off for now no doubt everyone will say hi, youre not alone anymore love, we're rooting for you , big hugs Kitty xxxx
Eck, you are one of the 'smart people'...you have much to offer a fellow addict attempting recovery and you understand what it is to have children and still be actively using.
Hi and welcome...you are worth this struggle. Three years is more than enough time to have heroin wreak havoc in your life...it took my daughter less than a year (though she had plenty of addiction experience under her belt with cocaine and alcohol.)
Hang in there and come here and read if no one is around...or go to the pain pills board, those folks have opiate addiction experience and will not judge you.
Peace ~ MomNMore
Hi and welcome...you are worth this struggle. Three years is more than enough time to have heroin wreak havoc in your life...it took my daughter less than a year (though she had plenty of addiction experience under her belt with cocaine and alcohol.)
Hang in there and come here and read if no one is around...or go to the pain pills board, those folks have opiate addiction experience and will not judge you.
Peace ~ MomNMore
Sorry Jussy i wrote post acute withrawal syndrome, meant to write POST ADDICTION WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME. I do it all the time, i have the brain capacity of a teabag at the moment lol x Again big hugs x Kitty xx
Hi Jussy,
Another mom here. Recovering addict.
You're not alone, Jussy. You can do this.
Please come back.
Another mom here. Recovering addict.
You're not alone, Jussy. You can do this.
Please come back.
Hey again Jussy, How are you feeling today? silly question but i hope your'e feeling a little better at least, I've so far managed to keep away from smack, although ive had a couple of wobbles, Im on the methadone programme have been for years but as most addicts, i was greedy. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too, so i was still taking Heroin alongside it.Even that wasnt enough i was heavy addicted to valium and zopiclone too. I work for a promotions company, i have a lovely home a great partner who forgives and forgave me everything and a beautiful little girl of 9yrs whom i love very much. I was already an addict when i got pregnant, i was very lucky to be able to spend 2 wks in hospital at that point i was on methadone and Heroin and was able to have a rapid detox in hospital, i managed to stay clean for the rest of my pregnancy,i was so scared i'd have my baby addicted but thank god it all worked out fine,but within a very short period of time i was back on the lot worse than before. Its crazy what we do. I guess what im trying to say is do this for YOURSELF first and foremost. Find what works for you.Now that i use Methadone properly it works for me,I may be on it for life but if it keeps me clean sane and healthy and allows me to lead a"normal life"then its doing its job and im happy about that. Do what works for you see your doctor maybe attend NA meetings keep coming back much love kitty
Hi Jussy. Welcome.
I'm English too. I have a little girl that's going on to be 5 years old that I came within a hair's breath of losing and I'm struggling to stay clean. I'm tired of having to lie. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of being sick and sick of being tired. You have all my best wishes for your recovery ok.
Reshie.
I'm English too. I have a little girl that's going on to be 5 years old that I came within a hair's breath of losing and I'm struggling to stay clean. I'm tired of having to lie. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of being sick and sick of being tired. You have all my best wishes for your recovery ok.
Reshie.
Hello Jussy, I hope you have some help with your little girl. You are a brave one, dont give up, life with drugs is no life at all. It's the only way to get you life back.
Dont give up, even if an hour feels like a day. You have a lot of support there, keep thinking of that to keep you focused.
Pat on the back!
Dont give up, even if an hour feels like a day. You have a lot of support there, keep thinking of that to keep you focused.
Pat on the back!
1ST of all on lf of myself,n,kitTy WE are Scots,n,so proud of it witha touch of raspberrry jam we,d eat each other..W,A,T,P/// EVERYONE is pisssed at our situations,i was reminded yesterday that its my birthday on the 15th,jan..
Well,ive went in the space of a month to losing my job,my car,which can be fixed,my x,s car which cant be fixed but worst of all is the fact ive lost my home reee,they stay whenever fr as long as ever plus my eldest from newcastle england lives wi her guy when she visits,n,ive fcuked it..
Luckily ive just found a wee flat sharing wi a non user,the flat is much smaller though only a cpl of miles from my home town,i may also have 1st shout in that same area for nother..gotta go out my comfort zone,,take care everyboby....Eck,,,,,We Are Scottish by birth,Scottish by nature and we are free....
Well,ive went in the space of a month to losing my job,my car,which can be fixed,my x,s car which cant be fixed but worst of all is the fact ive lost my home reee,they stay whenever fr as long as ever plus my eldest from newcastle england lives wi her guy when she visits,n,ive fcuked it..
Luckily ive just found a wee flat sharing wi a non user,the flat is much smaller though only a cpl of miles from my home town,i may also have 1st shout in that same area for nother..gotta go out my comfort zone,,take care everyboby....Eck,,,,,We Are Scottish by birth,Scottish by nature and we are free....
Well advice number 1 is dont go on to methadone...its a life sentance..buy it on the street and detox youself......vitamin c in large doses stops witdrawl symptoms, also the amino acid L-Triptopane..2morning 2 noon....and if you cant do it in the city go some where where you cant get the smack.....but do it for the right reasons, dont do it for your mom/dad/ spouse kids do it for youself.....you can do it it taks supprisingly little willpower...just alot of sleepless nights..get some valium to help with the anxiety,and some decent seleeping tabs "Dalmaine" or equivalent...psycotherapist dont know, theyve never been strung out so ,pray toyour higher power whatever it may be ...nature....god..anything humble yourself...and good luck..dont give up.....get a sponsor..when your ready.
S.J.
S.J.
Methadone is just liquid heroin, a legal substitute for an illegal drug.....i think drugs are banned on moral grounds..the state dont want to see people have fun/relax and enjoy themselves.....you think alcohol is good? come on.....its a victimless crime like prostitution....the puritanical moral majority who want to keep us in subditude....using subliminal advertising, prpaganda..etc......rant..rant....believe me im speaking the truth.
"DONT GO ON METHADONE"-"BUY IT ON THE STREET AND DETOX YOURSELF" nobody advised Jussy to go on methadone just to look at her options. The last thing she needs is some crackpot fearmonger filling her head with rubbish when she is so vulnrable. Man ill informed nutjobs like you are so dangerous to peeps in Jussy's position. so BACK OFF.
Jussy love how are you today? I hope your starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We're ALL rooting for you love, stay strong mate kitty xxx
Jussy love how are you today? I hope your starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We're ALL rooting for you love, stay strong mate kitty xxx
Hi Jussy hope you're doing ok. I'm afraid I don't really agree with Simon's advice. The vitamin supplements will help but no point in taking huge dose as your body will just get rid of the excess. The insomnia is merciless unfortunately there's not much you can do but be patient with that. Apart from that, a warm safe place, plenty of fluids (I personally find lucozade helps me but that's just me), hot soups/crusty bread (again just me), soothing music, maybe a good book. Furthur on, if you get get PAWS you could see a doc. I've got a counsellor helping me. But if you're not taking meth, please do try stay away from it. It is actually harder to kick that H. Just hang in there ok. Wishing you the best.
good job jussie
just stick with it!..man is it tough!..i cant tell you how many times ive tried to quick.
those suboxone's worked good with me...it took a bunch of times..but i eventually got through it.
it takes a while, and i know it just feels like utter agony...and never ending torchure..but it really does get better.
the hardest part was overcoming the boredom..ugh!
once you get past the most sickest longest week of your life and your not really getting dopesick anymore...comes this stage where you dont know what to do with your self.
ya know?..you just spent the last how many years programing your brain to think it can only enjoy life zapped on herion.
its like ya said.."sick and tired of being sick and tired"...there comes a point where you know deep down that in 8 hours if your not high your gunna be sick..its f***ing pathetic when you really think about it.how much time and effort you devote to getting high...everyday the same routine after routine after routine!...wake up sick..because you were stupid enough to not save yourself some for the morning...you told your self you would be alright...(ya right)
then by any means nessisary get money..then get drugs...
imagine if you put that much effort into things that actually matter in life!...
well stay strong...and ween youself of them suboxone too..there just as addictive..
good luck!
just stick with it!..man is it tough!..i cant tell you how many times ive tried to quick.
those suboxone's worked good with me...it took a bunch of times..but i eventually got through it.
it takes a while, and i know it just feels like utter agony...and never ending torchure..but it really does get better.
the hardest part was overcoming the boredom..ugh!
once you get past the most sickest longest week of your life and your not really getting dopesick anymore...comes this stage where you dont know what to do with your self.
ya know?..you just spent the last how many years programing your brain to think it can only enjoy life zapped on herion.
its like ya said.."sick and tired of being sick and tired"...there comes a point where you know deep down that in 8 hours if your not high your gunna be sick..its f***ing pathetic when you really think about it.how much time and effort you devote to getting high...everyday the same routine after routine after routine!...wake up sick..because you were stupid enough to not save yourself some for the morning...you told your self you would be alright...(ya right)
then by any means nessisary get money..then get drugs...
imagine if you put that much effort into things that actually matter in life!...
well stay strong...and ween youself of them suboxone too..there just as addictive..
good luck!
THIS IS THE FIRST THING RESHIE AND I HAVE SEEN EYE TO EYE ON IN A WHILE. METHADONE IS A LONG ACTING DRUG AND WAS /IS GOOD FOR SOME ADDICTS WHO WANT TO LONG TERM STABILIZE. IT WAS THE ONLY OTHER OPTION FOR A LONG TIME BUT NOW WE HAVE MORE AVENUES OPEN TO US SUBOXONE SUBUTEX , THERAPUTIC SUPERVISED USE OF IBOGAINE DURING WDS( IVE HEARD GOOD THINGS ABOUT THAT) BUT MOST OF IT IS NULLIFIED IF YOUR GOING COLD TURKEY. IF YOUVE LASTED THIS LONG YOUR DOING AMAZINGLY WELL 99% OF THE SMACK WILL BE OUT OF YOUR BODY BY NOW. MAYBE DISCUSS WITH YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT AN INSURANCE POLICY LIKE NALTREXONE IMPLANT TO KEEP YOU AWAY FROM GEAR. ALL JUST THOUGHTS LOVE. I REALLY DO HOPE THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR ACHIEVING SOMETHING MONUMENTAL BECAUSE YOU ARE. TAKE CARE OF YOU SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOUR LITTLE DAUGHTER MUCH LOVE AND BEST WISHES KITTY X
Hello everyone. Well its been a week since i've been on here and i'm sorry i slipped up. I let myself down. Im back to square one but am really ready. I've been going to NA meetings for the past 4 days and love them. I actually look foward to going. I need good clean support considering im alone. I have my family and my daughter, but no friends and its pretty depressing considering i used to have soo many friends. I love all the advice i got. I have 5 2mg suboxones left and hope thats enough to get over the initial withdrawls. After that i dunno what to do. I know i need to keep busy and keep coming on here and chatting with yall. Thank you again everyone.
