To all you AArs out there. I went to a women's meeting for the first time yesterday and I found it wonderful.
It had a really different dynamic to any other meeting I've ever been to.
Its not at a real convenient time for me but I'm going to make it when I can from now on. I'm hopeful I can find a sponsor there in time, cause there's a very small proportion of women in the meetings around my area.
anyway I was just curious what others think of single-sex meetings. Any of you guys out there been to any men's meetings? Do you find it beneficial?
I would not suggest ONLY going to single sex meetings because I think its helpful to hear from the widest variety possible and get many perspectives in recovery. But for me I think I am going to find adding the dimension of a women's meeting to my recovery very helpful.
cheers all
Good for you for going to a women's meeting. I don't know about you but I was very uncomfortable with other women when I came in. The only women I knew were the ones I met in bars and we are rather unlovely when we are in our cups <G> Going to women's meetings in early sobriety helped me learn to trust other women. I have made some very close women friends in AA that I can tell anything to and know it won't go farther. Try to stick with the women that have some time more than newcomers if you can. The longer the sobriety with most the more trustworthy we become. Sit and listen and see who is AA inside and outside the rooms. Some talk a good game in meetings but act differently out of them. Trust your gut and you'll be fine.
Hey Ladies,
Don't for a MINUTE think that women are the only sex capable of gossip, either, though. I have learned that men have the same proclivity to tell stories if they're not FULLY into recovery and the spirituality that the AA Program espouses. I've watched 13th Steppers behaving badly, I've listened to "sponsors" share secrets, I've watched heads come together to share 'inventories' of others in meetings and out. If I weren't solely interested in my very own recovery and spirituality I'd have left long ago. We get out what we put in. I share only with those whom I trust and make sure THEY that I confide in have gone through The Steps at least once. And I remind them of confidentiality. I won't share anything in discussion that I wouldn't expect to be shared outside, and I won't let anybody stand in the way of my recovery OR my serenity. I'm an alcoholic. My BEST thinking got me into the predicaments I created, but I don't have to prolong them by being unwise in my recovery, either. I WILL say that any sponsor's a good place to start, but they ARE changeable.
I attend Open Meetings, as I've said before, and there a LOT of people coming through that don't want to be there. I'm honest, open, and willing. I'm just not stupid. Been there, done that.
Don't for a MINUTE think that women are the only sex capable of gossip, either, though. I have learned that men have the same proclivity to tell stories if they're not FULLY into recovery and the spirituality that the AA Program espouses. I've watched 13th Steppers behaving badly, I've listened to "sponsors" share secrets, I've watched heads come together to share 'inventories' of others in meetings and out. If I weren't solely interested in my very own recovery and spirituality I'd have left long ago. We get out what we put in. I share only with those whom I trust and make sure THEY that I confide in have gone through The Steps at least once. And I remind them of confidentiality. I won't share anything in discussion that I wouldn't expect to be shared outside, and I won't let anybody stand in the way of my recovery OR my serenity. I'm an alcoholic. My BEST thinking got me into the predicaments I created, but I don't have to prolong them by being unwise in my recovery, either. I WILL say that any sponsor's a good place to start, but they ARE changeable.
I attend Open Meetings, as I've said before, and there a LOT of people coming through that don't want to be there. I'm honest, open, and willing. I'm just not stupid. Been there, done that.
Hey 12Stepper
Well my problem is I feel uncomfortable with everyone! LOL men and women. but I am slowly learning to be comfortable with all kinds of people that in the past I would have turned up my nose to in judgement and not considered worthy of my time or interest. surprisingly it is some of these people who actually have the most to offer.
SKG - yes gossip is a big danger I agree - but for me - learning to deal with people in AA is a step for me towards learning to deal with people in the outside world. Learning to identify and steer clear from gossip is part of that.
I think we can be seduced by that in early sobriety because we're often lonely, vulnerable and needing attention and that's one way to get it.
but I have knocked round AA for a couple years now on and off, and as its a relatively smallish community here I have a nodding acquantance with most people in the meetings - my focus is on me and not taking other people's inventory - something I've always been specially good at!
cheers
Idgie
Well my problem is I feel uncomfortable with everyone! LOL men and women. but I am slowly learning to be comfortable with all kinds of people that in the past I would have turned up my nose to in judgement and not considered worthy of my time or interest. surprisingly it is some of these people who actually have the most to offer.
SKG - yes gossip is a big danger I agree - but for me - learning to deal with people in AA is a step for me towards learning to deal with people in the outside world. Learning to identify and steer clear from gossip is part of that.
I think we can be seduced by that in early sobriety because we're often lonely, vulnerable and needing attention and that's one way to get it.
but I have knocked round AA for a couple years now on and off, and as its a relatively smallish community here I have a nodding acquantance with most people in the meetings - my focus is on me and not taking other people's inventory - something I've always been specially good at!
cheers
Idgie
