Hi Folks,
First off, I want to thank you all for the prayers and encouragment for my Gram. She passed peacefully on 11 August.
Im grateful that she passed peacefully but Im feeling terrible that I didnt get on a plane and go be with her. Ive done a lot of crying and a lot mediating between family members over the last few days. Why is it families just seem to go nuts and tear at each other at times like these ? I feel so caught between my Mother and my Brother. My Mother is incapable it seems on many levels of showing compassion or love for anyone. My brother is so hurt by her coldness to him and his family. He really has done everything for her and has taken care of my Grandmother and our Grandfather too. My Mother will have nothing to do with our grandfather because this was my Grandmothers second husband. She married him at 85 I think it was. She died at 89. My grandfather is in the same room with her at the nursing home. He is so so so much in pain about this. My Mother is so cold to him. My brother is just exhausted. His wife and Family are so hurt by my Mothers rudeness and her hatefulness. I dont know why my Mother acts like this, she always has. Even before my Dad passed away in 2001. Now she has turned into an even more bitter and more hostile person since then. I feel so sad for her. I think sometimes I should go home and try to help everyone. I cant make anyone better it seems. Im so far away. For the first time in my life I feel like I should actually be there but I chose to be this far away because of this kind of craziness. My Mother and brother use to be very close, its only in the last year or so that my brother has seen this side of my mother; I unfortunalty have only known that side. I decided a long time ago though that I would never hate my Mother like she has hated hers. Oh yes, she hated my Grandmother and I was in between them all my life. Now im inbetween my Mother and Brother. Its horrible. I dont ever want to lose my brother again, It was a long 25-30 years without him. My Mother hates it that we are speaking. She has never wanted us to get along. I should be angry and hating my Mother for that and for everything she did to me but ...I cant. I just cant...not anymore. I dont want to fight. I have accepted she will always be the way she is. I feel bad for my brother though. He just doesnt understand I think. Anyways...Im just venting....thanks for listening... Im feeling pretty fragile and lost without my Grandmother right now. Im going to miss her horribly. I got through the week so far without using though. Im still clean. I think thats a plus. I couldnt, wouldnt have made it without this board though and all of you here. So I just want to say thanks. I love you all.
Con
Con, I am so sorry about your Gram's passing. My prayers will go up to The Blessed Mother today for your beloved Gram.
Con, wasn't it you that chica who got on the plane with her wife when your Gram recently was hospitalized? Your Grammy knew you were there when she needed you most, Con. I 100% believe that when our loved ones pass they don't need us. Heck, they are in such a better place than this he*l we call life.
Ya know too Con you should be so proud of yourself. You've had some life and family altering situations and here you are clean. That's quite a feat lady.
Family dynamics now that's another entire thing I can't even pretend to understand.
Con, how come you have to be the one to make it all better? You're the fixer. The fixer upper. Only all that trying to fix probably leanded to you having to fix it all up in the past. All the "what if's". Con, it shouldn't be yours to carry. Bottom line is your Grandmom knows you were there for her. It is so sad about your mom and I am sorry. There's still time for her Con. Time for her to come around.
Again I am so sorry as I know you adore your Gram. I'm going to hit up Saint Ann with some prayers while I am at it for your mom. You know the mom of The Blessed Mother is tops. She always listens. Know I am thinking of you, Con.
Con, wasn't it you that chica who got on the plane with her wife when your Gram recently was hospitalized? Your Grammy knew you were there when she needed you most, Con. I 100% believe that when our loved ones pass they don't need us. Heck, they are in such a better place than this he*l we call life.
Ya know too Con you should be so proud of yourself. You've had some life and family altering situations and here you are clean. That's quite a feat lady.
Family dynamics now that's another entire thing I can't even pretend to understand.
Con, how come you have to be the one to make it all better? You're the fixer. The fixer upper. Only all that trying to fix probably leanded to you having to fix it all up in the past. All the "what if's". Con, it shouldn't be yours to carry. Bottom line is your Grandmom knows you were there for her. It is so sad about your mom and I am sorry. There's still time for her Con. Time for her to come around.
Again I am so sorry as I know you adore your Gram. I'm going to hit up Saint Ann with some prayers while I am at it for your mom. You know the mom of The Blessed Mother is tops. She always listens. Know I am thinking of you, Con.
BUMP TO KEEP THIS ON TOP FOR CON!
I'm sorry for your loss, Con. My deepest condolences to you.
really sorry con...luv..eck..xxxxx
Alrite Con .....sorry for the loss of yer Gran....she sounds like a good woman .....also i feel for ya with what yer mother is putting yer family through .....that sort of behaviour is so out of order .....specially at times like these.You have to think of yerself at times like these also ......so the fact that ya didnt pick up is a major plus....well done.
Take care...Mrs..............Davey
Take care...Mrs..............Davey
