HI everyone, I thought I was doing so well up to now. I called for a coffee at a friends to day and my old dealer was there, when my friend went to the bathroom , I asked if my the dealer if she could sort me anything out. she said she didn't have anything on her and to call round later, so I arranged to go round at 4pm it's now 5pm. I really don't know what I was thinking, I am so mad at myself because if she had any on her I would have had it. I have since got home and then decided not to go round. I am just worried in case it happens again. I have not seen this friend for 5 wk since been clean, so I am going to stay away until the urge disappears if it ever does. Hope you are all wellxxx
Andrea, that was your Higher Power working for you.
Tell him or her if they ever sell to you that you will turn them into the authorities, i know you probably wouldn't, be he or she doesn't know that. I can assure you that your "dealer" won't sell to you again lol goodluck
Andrea...You don't want to go back to that hell of taking pills..
Throw the dealers # away and turn your thoughts to something
more positive...You can get through this!!!!
I'm pulling for you...
Take Care
Doug
Throw the dealers # away and turn your thoughts to something
more positive...You can get through this!!!!
I'm pulling for you...
Take Care
Doug
andr,
good work, nicely done, it definately helps to change people places and things, when at all possable, i know that was tough to do because i had to give up a whole lifestyle and all those so called friends, yeah even though they werent true friends, they were people i shared alot of my life with not just all about drugs, but since being clean, if i know a person is still using. i cant even look at them. i dont say hello. i am pretty much rude and ignore them so they know i am not interested in anything they have to say no matter what it is because it will only lead to one place. i still will say a prayer for them as they pass by. i am finally grounded in life, no kinda drug is worth taking away what i have and how i have done a 100 percent turn around for me and my kids. this year is the first year both my kids have had high attendance at school and both got fabulous report cards. i know i bragged just a lil hehehe but i should have been alot less selfish 4 or 5 years ago and been the mom i am now. but all that doesnt matter we cant change the past only what we have today and today is a good day : )
terrianne
good work, nicely done, it definately helps to change people places and things, when at all possable, i know that was tough to do because i had to give up a whole lifestyle and all those so called friends, yeah even though they werent true friends, they were people i shared alot of my life with not just all about drugs, but since being clean, if i know a person is still using. i cant even look at them. i dont say hello. i am pretty much rude and ignore them so they know i am not interested in anything they have to say no matter what it is because it will only lead to one place. i still will say a prayer for them as they pass by. i am finally grounded in life, no kinda drug is worth taking away what i have and how i have done a 100 percent turn around for me and my kids. this year is the first year both my kids have had high attendance at school and both got fabulous report cards. i know i bragged just a lil hehehe but i should have been alot less selfish 4 or 5 years ago and been the mom i am now. but all that doesnt matter we cant change the past only what we have today and today is a good day : )
terrianne
Andrea, hang in there girl. Just stay away from people that trigger you. Your recovery is so new and fresh and it would be very easy for you to give in right now if you don't change people, places, and things. I know that you can do this. Just take it one day at a time. I'm proud of what you have accomplished and I wish that I was clean like you. I'm getting there though as I'm tapering and I'm down to one pill a day. I'll probably jump off totally the beginning of next week, if not sooner. Take Care.
this is a prime example of the insidiousness of our disease... and if anybody thinks that they can be around the same ole people and place and not have a problem then well... I dont know what to say... the odds are against them.... what you did do or at least what happen whether you know it or not is go hour by hour... you put just a little time in between you and the drug.... not a lot but enough....
there have been times that I have put just 15 mins in between me and a decision to use or not.... and then anonther and another... and before long... well the craving got less and my strength got better and reinforcements came....
anyway... now you realize the power and just how quick our minds can work... dont be angry at yourself.. but angry at the power of your disease and learn from your experience and be grateful for the outcome..... make better safety nets, and then thank your HP for stepping in ..... turn that negative feeling of regret into looking at that it could have been worse and preparing for the next trial.....
thanks for sharing your experience you never know what it could help someone else...
Teresa
there have been times that I have put just 15 mins in between me and a decision to use or not.... and then anonther and another... and before long... well the craving got less and my strength got better and reinforcements came....
anyway... now you realize the power and just how quick our minds can work... dont be angry at yourself.. but angry at the power of your disease and learn from your experience and be grateful for the outcome..... make better safety nets, and then thank your HP for stepping in ..... turn that negative feeling of regret into looking at that it could have been worse and preparing for the next trial.....
thanks for sharing your experience you never know what it could help someone else...
Teresa
