I feel like I'm drowning. I didn't realize my boyfriend was an addict until too late. Bouncing off of a failed marriage I decided to go out with a co worker one night and shortly thereafter I found out I was pregnant. I really wasn't sure that I wanted a long-term relationship but I went with it. At first I didn't understand why he didn't have any money especially when I knew we just got paid. He claimed it was because of his child support, at first I accepted this until I realized he still was getting a good amount of money. Soon after I noticed that for three days after he got his vicodin prescription he was full of energy, the house would be spotless and then followed 27 days of misery. Him bullying me into giving him money, making me feel bad... fast forward two years he went from vicodin to heroin and he finally entered detox. When he got out there was a three month waiting period for outpatient rehab. He made me buy suboxene off the street until he got in. Lets just say that the relationship has never been great and probably never will be. I've been miserable since the beginning and nothing has changed. He has done "well" in rehab for six months and by that I mean taking one suboxene strip and selling the other which makes me more than uncomfortable and I have told him as much but he still does it. The other thing that bothers me is he is selling vicodin for his mother every month because apparently she can't pay her bills without him taking money from me in exchange for her pills...which I think is beyond messed up. I guess the truth of the matter is that I don't think he will stay sober beyond the end of the year long program especially with him in contactwith those pills. In fact he has told me that there is a doctor in town that can prescribe the suboxene and they don't make you go to therapy, and you can stay on it as long as you want which according to him He wants to stay in them so he can sell one strip aday. I find the whole thing wrong. My head and my heart are telling me to leave but i'm afraid he'll relapse which would be bad for him and the child we share. I also don't think he would be able tho support himself and his daughter (from aprevious relationship). He is working but still provides me with no financial support. I am the only one responsible for things and it is wearing me down. He is 44 and I am 27. I don't know what to do and even though I want to leave I feel like I need permission.
"My head and my heart are telling me to leave but i'm afraid he'll relapse which would be bad for him and the child we share. I also don't think he would be able tho support himself and his daughter (from aprevious relationship). "
Here, if you are looking for permission- I give you permission to leave.
I hope you go back and re read your own post...slowly and without your heart. You are not responsible for his recovery. You staying there and allowing things to continue as they are only give him the permission to continue what is going on.
What him and his mother are doing is completely wrong and if he sells to someone who dies from an overdose, he will be held responsible. Your baby needs a stable environment. Alanon would be a great place for you to get support and see the bigger picture. Think with your brains, you know what is right and wrong and your gut is telling you. Worry about you and that baby.
Here, if you are looking for permission- I give you permission to leave.
I hope you go back and re read your own post...slowly and without your heart. You are not responsible for his recovery. You staying there and allowing things to continue as they are only give him the permission to continue what is going on.
What him and his mother are doing is completely wrong and if he sells to someone who dies from an overdose, he will be held responsible. Your baby needs a stable environment. Alanon would be a great place for you to get support and see the bigger picture. Think with your brains, you know what is right and wrong and your gut is telling you. Worry about you and that baby.
Dear Skpate, You must realize this is not a healthy relationship. ..not for you and certainly not for a child....Not only is he a addict but he is clearly breaking the law in sale and distribution of a controlled substance.....now what would happen and would you be able to deal with the consequences if your child was to get one of these drugs and swallow it..or let's say someone reports what is going on to child protective services and puts your child into foster care because of the drug envoirment. ...You have to be a mother first here ...your child deserves a healthy envoirment drug free and not be raised in a house where addition is occurring. .that's not sending a good message..you sound like your the one supporting the home...You sound miserable for 27 year old woman....your unhappy and obviously insecure about yourself first jumping into this realtionship to quickly and second for continuing to be there....as far as his other daughter you can't be responsible for her allow her mother to be...concentrate on you and your child...if he won't leave then the two of you leave ....You can't control him or his actions..if he hasn't changed chances are slim that he will..Unreal about Mom,but as the saying goes...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Food for thought why in the world are you staying in any realtionship where you describe it as miserable?
skpate:
Narcotics Anonymous will help the addict get his/her life back.
Nar-Anon will help you get your life back. Look them up on-line or in the phone book.
You are literally as helpless and out of control as he is. Nar-Anon and Al-Anon will help you.
All the best.
Bob R
Narcotics Anonymous will help the addict get his/her life back.
Nar-Anon will help you get your life back. Look them up on-line or in the phone book.
You are literally as helpless and out of control as he is. Nar-Anon and Al-Anon will help you.
All the best.
Bob R
