Hello, I'm new here and hope someone can just ease my mind or just simply respond. We live in a small area with no resources. I have combed online for answers and on gathering all the information I can on crystal meth addiction, which is all frightening at best.
My husband and I have been married 27 years and have one son whom we have tried to raise as responsible and respectful. Our 19 year old son was raised in a stable, loving, Christian environment yet started smoking pot six years ago. He has been busted as a juvenile twice, spent time in Juvey lockup, and 30 days in a treatment center. Nothing we've said or done has deterred his love for pot.
In retrospect, that was mild compared to what we are facing now. I believe he started smoking meth last summer 2014 which has escalated horrifically. He was arrested in August and recived a diversion, arrested in a different county November for the same thing yet again, possession of pot and paraphernalia, only this time he has a felony because he shoved dope up his a$$ to sneak into the jail! While in jail, he started sending letters home begging forgiveness, that he was sorry for the past six years, and if he could just come home he would be the real son we raised him to be.
Two days after coming home and after being in jail 14 days, he came home on a bad trip from a hallucagenic called 25i- he is, we found a poly user and will use any and everything. We tried to get him to enter treatment when leaving jail, he refused, we tried again after the 25i, which he refused as well. Three weeks later, he flew into a violent rage for no apparent reason, left the house for five days. He attacked me physically when he came back, I had him arrested but my husband did bail him out the same day- big mistake.
He has been literally homeless since January 23, jobless since March 3, has been known to kick in doors of other people's homes, and I believe he is stealing, and worse, to support his habit. I have called the DA in the other county to beg them to NOT put him on probation or diversion yet again but to force him to treatment. They did make him have a drug eval and the recommendation was severe long term inpatient treatment but he refused to sign. The hearing keeps getting moved and is rescheduled for March 25. I have no idea what will actually happen.
He would stay in contact with my husband, respond by text, or call, and actually meet for lunch. He would also respond to other family members and church friends. However, for the past two weeks, he's refused any contact with my husband, has unfriended and blocked his church friends on Twitter and facebook, and refuses to respond to other family members. At this time two weeks ago, my husband sent him a text asking him to come talk to us and to please listen one more time about entering treatment.
I had no contact whatsoever after he attacked me but I finally did send him a text a couple days ago saying in his quest for fun and independence, he had chosen a drug that made him completely dependent on it, that we knew he was jobless, and homeless, and that when he was tired of living that life we would still be here for him because we loved him. I'm sure that was ALL wrong as he started a tirade on Facebook and Twitter about close minded, judge mental people who were sending him negative vibes and that he's one of the few positive, open minded people around, and how all these people looking down on him would be the ones to fall, while he continued to rise. I fear he has slipped into a permanent drug psychoses or is actually schizophrenic.
Absolutely any advice would help, his dad and I are just broken. Thank you.
I am so sorry. On the left side there's Let Me Fall All By Myself it has help me so much. Are you going to your son's hearing tomorrow? Maybe he'll get the help he needs. I will be praying for you and your husband. Please keep reading the other stories on here. I'm learning to take care of me. We have a 28 yr. daughter who is addicted to meth and Xanax. A least that's what we know of. She doesn't live with us but I had become so entangled in her drama that I was losing who I was and it was only feeding her addiction.
Glad you found this site.
Glad you found this site.
Good reply momautrey and adamsmom, each of us on this site are, have been, or continue to love our addicts while trying so hard to understand it all. Momautrey took the words from me-there has to be the moment, day, week, month, and then all the time to learn to take care of ourselves first. It's not selfish. It's necessary if we shall go on in life and remember there are others in our Families who love us and want to help but don't know how. I was becoming so isolated over my son I lost myself. Just yesterday I finally joined a group Nar-anon. It's for parents & loved ones dealing with addicts close to them. For myself, in just one hour, just to be in a circle of 30 others in my exact shoes gave me a surge of hope and some strength. Also- please do read the awesome letter momautrey mentioned.."Let Me Fall All By Myself" It's is a veiw through the eyes of an addict which we do not realize. In the mean time, Prayers for you for sure and for All of Us hoping and Praying to help, see, wait for our loved ones to return to us and our hearts. There is always hope for recovery. I say that everyday many times a day. Take care and hope to hear from you soon.
Thank you both for your replies and advice, just knowing someone cares to respond is more helpful than you know. We went to the hearing, our son was 30 minutes late, looked worse than awful, refused to look at or speak to us at the courthouse. This was a preliminary, he enters his plea April 13 and sentencing, which we are praying for treatment, is not for another 45-60 days after! His charges are not that severe, the felony of sneaking drugs into the jail are a felony and he is a habitual offender are what we have in our court. His lawyer was furious at his lack of responsibility and respect, which helps us. We bought him McDonald's and asked if he had gas to get the two hours back home, we are trying not to enable. I later sent a text, which again, was the wrong thing to say as I got a long, rambling Budda referenced text back. I felt worse after hearing from him!! We live in a small area and not one soul knows of a counselor who is well versed to help us and Narcanon does not exist here; I suppose we need to try Alanon again.
