Son In Rahab Or Not?!!!

Now that My Son is in a 24 hour rehab, for (Crack) they will now, because he is 18 years old will not let me know if he is still there or not. Last Saturday is said he wanted me to pick him up at 4:00 A.M., I told him he had to stay there, he hung up on me. The problem is that I got him out of jail on bail about 18 days ago. If he is not in court in Sept, I loose $7000.00 dollars. How do I find out if he is in rehad or not? He is in the Gateway program in Delaware City, Delaware. What is it like in the places?, he saids they keep calling him a piece of crap, he needs alot of help, I don't think he needs to be redicled, but maybe I'm wrong, how does the system work for people who are addicts, I want my only Son back, but I think I have lost him. We as a family have been through hell, with his stealing, lying, deceiving, paying his drug dealers off, etc. etc. thousands of dollars we have been through. When does it ever stop!!!!!!! I love my son but I thing I have lost him. Please I need some kind of information to help me undersand what goes on in these rehabs.
Help Me Please, ____Ray
Dear Ray,

So sad to here about your son. How long was he supposed to be in Rehab?
I would sure want to know if my son had left rehab. I have heard from different people whom have had loves that are in rehab, that if the addict is not ready to get better, rehab does not even want to bother...there are so many others waiting in line to heal. They sometimes in jail it's worse because it's easy to get more drugs, or know how to deal them better when they get out. For some i heard a Psyc ward helps better. I send healing to your son's higher self to help him through. It sounds like you have tried all you can. It's clear he cannot keep on bringing everyone else down. They call in enabling. If you are willing, I suggest you go to Na for support, something like Alanon. Many people are dealing with alot of the same pain.
On the positive side, he is only 18 and maybe he needs to learn quick and can move on to a higher ground in his life.

I am dealing with quite a different story..but still hurts. My daughter got caught up with the wrong guy. They do not do crack, she did the other night with strangers... for the first time but still problems. I am waiting until she can medically taken care of and will try and spend some quality time in the beautiful enviorment I live in. I am talking with her 10 times a day. She is willing to come and heal...I hope she stays and allows me to get her the help she is going to need.

Many Blessings to your family and Son.

Joanne

Dear Ray,

The first thing you have to do is stop enabling him. You coughed up his bail money , you're keeping a roof over his head, providing food, and the necessitties of life. And what is he giving you in return? By doing all of these things you are condoning his drug use. Maybe not openly but definitely by your actions. He is a grown boy. Let him suffer the consequences of his own actions. There is one thing I would like to share with you.... The 3 C's of Alanon
You did not cause his disease, You cannot control it, and you certainly can't cure it. Recovery must come from him. He has to want it. Here are several links for both of you:-

Cocaine Anonymous (for the addict)
http://www.ca.org/

Narcotics Anonymous (for the addict)
http://www.na.org/

Alcoholics Anonymous
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

Al-Anon (for the spouse friend or family of )
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/

Nar-Anon (for the spouse, friend or family of)
http://www.naranon.com/about/whatis.html

You need the meetings and a program just as much as he does. You need to learn the coping skills of living with an addict. Please for your own sanity go to a meeting.

Good luck and God Bless
lildee