Hi everybody.Its been awhile since ive been here.It seems the only time i post is when "IM" going through something.Pretty selfish,i know.I do read whats going on from time to time,but not like i should.
Again...about me,lol.
PP's are my DOC.Ive never considered myself an alcoholic,but i certainly drank my fair share in my lifetime.I havent had an alcoholic beverage in almost 5 years.I havent had even a twinge of desire to.Until today...
I brought my son to work @ noon today(he works right in the center of Lake George)The place is filling up with tourists.There were people all over on balconies partying having a great time.LG and its nightclubs used to be a big hot spot for me in my younger days.
A huge desire came over me.The thought of going out with a bunch of friends and drinking,having a good time(i would never even try it without the drinking)seems sooooo APPEALING to me!!! I feel like im missing out on something.But i know me,like everything else,i cant do anything in moderation! I would drink until im loaded,be so sick the next day...yet?
Do you all honestly believe(cuz i really dont know myself)if i were to go out some night and have some beers,would i be opening myself up to a habit of drinking more frequently?I have friends that drink every weekend,STILL...i would NEVER want to do that.Would that really be a possibility...or could i go out,have a good time,yes...get drunk,no doubt,and then leave it for a few more years?
All advice is welcome and thanks~KIM
No one can tell you what will happen but I can tell you what I know would happen to me. First I would get rip roarin drunk because I don't know how to have just one. Then I would probably need a few lines of coke to help me stay awake so I could drink more, then I would need a few xanax because I have such horrible hangovers. So if I did all that would I be able to stop at one night? I don't know but I'm not willing to find out. Are you? Is getting buzzed that important that you would take a chance and wake up your addiction? Is something else going on in your life that you want to get high or is it just that you are remembering the "good old days"?
Kim,
I like what Kat shared...When I read your post, my first thought was, umm...your disease is looking for other avenues.
Be aware and maybe a suggestion would be to wait for 30 days and pray on it and then see if it still sounds so alluring and appealing...
I have sat in a lot of meetings where people have drank socially and then crossed over the line and couldn't figure out when....
Another suggestion, if you do go out drinking and partying, don't drive.
Are you still going to your women's meeting or your counseling, Kim?
Much love,
Stacey
I like what Kat shared...When I read your post, my first thought was, umm...your disease is looking for other avenues.
Be aware and maybe a suggestion would be to wait for 30 days and pray on it and then see if it still sounds so alluring and appealing...
I have sat in a lot of meetings where people have drank socially and then crossed over the line and couldn't figure out when....
Another suggestion, if you do go out drinking and partying, don't drive.
Are you still going to your women's meeting or your counseling, Kim?
Much love,
Stacey
Funny you should ask that question Kim. One of the women I know also has PP's as her drug of choice. She used to drink but when she discovered the P.P.'s she no longer drank as often or to excess. She has about 4 months clean time. Last week on her way to a meeting she had an overwhelming desire to go to the liquor store. She turned her car around, went into the store and bought two airplane sized bottles of liquor. She got into the car and immediately drank them both down. She then started to head to the meeting. In the process of making a u-turn she ended up in the wrong lane of a two way street. A car ploughed into her head on. The police were called. She was taken to the local hospital in handcuffs, arresting for drunken driving, totaled her car and hurt her back and neck. The woman in the other car also was taken to the hospital for injuries. The thing is her life was kind of messed up BEFORE this happened. She had no job, no money and alot of medical problems that were very painful. Because she had no insurance, she never had the money to go to the doctors to get things checked out. This week when she looks back she realizes that last week life wasn't so bad.
In my humble but most experienced opinion, alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. I started out an an alcoholic but even through my worst withdraws from opiates, I never touched alcohol. I am terrified of alcohol.
Now think back to the last time you drank. Why is it that you decided not to drink anymore five years ago?
I know that you have a great family life with your kids and grandkids. You don't need alcohol to have fun with them. Ask yourself why do you need to drink to have fun with your girlfriends? I think that is the more important question.
I think recovery is a process of learning to accept yourself, be yourself and love yourself. Either you are in the process of recovery or in the process of relapse.
Your questions sounds innocent enough. For most people it's okay to have a couple of drinks but not for me. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict.
P.S. Those people aren't really having fun. They are numbing their feelings and pretending to have fun. Do you have any friends in recovery to go out with? That would be fun. I hear Lake George is beautiful this time of year.
Also I have permission to tell the above story.
In my humble but most experienced opinion, alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. I started out an an alcoholic but even through my worst withdraws from opiates, I never touched alcohol. I am terrified of alcohol.
Now think back to the last time you drank. Why is it that you decided not to drink anymore five years ago?
I know that you have a great family life with your kids and grandkids. You don't need alcohol to have fun with them. Ask yourself why do you need to drink to have fun with your girlfriends? I think that is the more important question.
I think recovery is a process of learning to accept yourself, be yourself and love yourself. Either you are in the process of recovery or in the process of relapse.
Your questions sounds innocent enough. For most people it's okay to have a couple of drinks but not for me. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict.
P.S. Those people aren't really having fun. They are numbing their feelings and pretending to have fun. Do you have any friends in recovery to go out with? That would be fun. I hear Lake George is beautiful this time of year.
Also I have permission to tell the above story.
JJ,
Hi good to see you again. Yes I do the same thing. I come on here when I need help so I am going to tell you it is o.k. to do that. It's ok with me. You know I feel that you will make the right decision for you. Just make sure you take the time to ask your HP. AND THEN LISTEN. I tend to make the mistake of asking and not listening or asking only for the forgivness. (Left over from my rebeliouis side that I am not sure I am cured of) Another suggestion might be read some of your early posts or diaries and see where you stood at the begining of this "addiction ordeal" See what yourself tells you. You know what your capable of.
Much love and respect,
Hi good to see you again. Yes I do the same thing. I come on here when I need help so I am going to tell you it is o.k. to do that. It's ok with me. You know I feel that you will make the right decision for you. Just make sure you take the time to ask your HP. AND THEN LISTEN. I tend to make the mistake of asking and not listening or asking only for the forgivness. (Left over from my rebeliouis side that I am not sure I am cured of) Another suggestion might be read some of your early posts or diaries and see where you stood at the begining of this "addiction ordeal" See what yourself tells you. You know what your capable of.
Much love and respect,
Thank you all so much for your thoughts,ideas,and experiences.It does give me alot to think about.
Things arent going all that super for me right now,so maybe the thoughts of an "outlet" are more appealing becasue of that?Not just the memories of the good old days.
I stopped drinking when i started the pills.I hated drinking with them.And just never went back.My hangovers were horrendous,last 3 days,really.And i KNOW in my heart,it would be a bad thing for me to do.Maybe an opening of Pandoras box?
I think i know the best choice for me,and i KNEW i would get the answers i wanted to hear from all of you,Thank you,my friends.~KIM
Things arent going all that super for me right now,so maybe the thoughts of an "outlet" are more appealing becasue of that?Not just the memories of the good old days.
I stopped drinking when i started the pills.I hated drinking with them.And just never went back.My hangovers were horrendous,last 3 days,really.And i KNOW in my heart,it would be a bad thing for me to do.Maybe an opening of Pandoras box?
I think i know the best choice for me,and i KNEW i would get the answers i wanted to hear from all of you,Thank you,my friends.~KIM
Kim-What I hear is that you have a history with alcohol.I am an alcoholic and quit drinking when I discovered opiates.I hated the mix.I do believe there are people on the PP board that are not alcoholics but like Kat said...what will happen if you get toasted?
I will go find my drug of choice.The alcohol will lubricate me enough to say "f*** IT' I want the real thing.I will find it too.You're playing with fire.I can't tell you how many people I hear come back from a relapse in NA that thought they would start drinking.One of the mantras at the opening of every meeting is "Alcohol is a drug".
Just because it's legal doesn't negate the potential for going stark raving mad.
I would immediately start calling people who I thought were holding.
It's ironic because I just posted on that Sub thread about this.I do believe there are some that can enjoy a glass of wine and not cross over.Do you want to take that chance?
I will go find my drug of choice.The alcohol will lubricate me enough to say "f*** IT' I want the real thing.I will find it too.You're playing with fire.I can't tell you how many people I hear come back from a relapse in NA that thought they would start drinking.One of the mantras at the opening of every meeting is "Alcohol is a drug".
Just because it's legal doesn't negate the potential for going stark raving mad.
I would immediately start calling people who I thought were holding.
It's ironic because I just posted on that Sub thread about this.I do believe there are some that can enjoy a glass of wine and not cross over.Do you want to take that chance?
Wow, I replied to Tim's post on the sub thread about this - I was wondering how many pp addicts do drink on occasion, and how do they NOT release the beast? Because I couldn't.
Alice - You Rock My World!!! You wrote - "You are either in the process of recovery or the process of relapse." That is so powerful!!!
Alice - You Rock My World!!! You wrote - "You are either in the process of recovery or the process of relapse." That is so powerful!!!
Hi Kim. No words of wisdom from me because we all know how well Jodi handles her alcohol. I just wanted to say that it's good to see you here. And to please be careful.
If you are concerned about it or if it is weighing heavily on your mind, there must be a reason.
I'll be honest, I'm insanely jealous of those who can go out and get drunk on occasion, have a blast and then not drink again for weeks or months. I still have this secret desire in my head to one day be able to drink responsibly. Whatever the hell drinking responsibly is. I've never done it so I have no clue.
What worries me is that it is so much easier to say WTF when you're drunk. What if someone offered you a percocet while being drunk? Would you think twice about taking it? Or would you think, "This one time won't hurt."
Take care of you, Kim.
If you are concerned about it or if it is weighing heavily on your mind, there must be a reason.
I'll be honest, I'm insanely jealous of those who can go out and get drunk on occasion, have a blast and then not drink again for weeks or months. I still have this secret desire in my head to one day be able to drink responsibly. Whatever the hell drinking responsibly is. I've never done it so I have no clue.
What worries me is that it is so much easier to say WTF when you're drunk. What if someone offered you a percocet while being drunk? Would you think twice about taking it? Or would you think, "This one time won't hurt."
Take care of you, Kim.
Thanks Betsy - I don't think it is original though. LOL
Hi Jodi - Hows your day?
Hi Jodi - Hows your day?