Haven't heard from you in a while, just wondering if you were doing ok?
Susan
where are you SP?
I'm getting worried about her, it's been quite awhile since i've heard from her. She was emailing me and I know she's been busy with work, but it's not like her to not post every few days atleast.
Just let us know your ok Bridget.
Love, Susan
Just let us know your ok Bridget.
Love, Susan
Blahhh!!! I'm sorry!
I'm ok - just hit a snag with school and work and my parents and my brother and blah blah blah. Finals are coming up and I'm trying to do meeting and all of this stuff and I feel like a lunatic. I kind of hermit out sometimes when I get really overwhelmed. But I'm ok :)
It just seems like every time I feel OK, I freak out and get totally scared that things are going to get f***d up. Or if I feel OK, I go out and f*** them up. And I have been feeling ok, so I started getting scared.
*sigh*
I'm crazy.... but I'm here :)
How are you guys?
B
I'm ok - just hit a snag with school and work and my parents and my brother and blah blah blah. Finals are coming up and I'm trying to do meeting and all of this stuff and I feel like a lunatic. I kind of hermit out sometimes when I get really overwhelmed. But I'm ok :)
It just seems like every time I feel OK, I freak out and get totally scared that things are going to get f***d up. Or if I feel OK, I go out and f*** them up. And I have been feeling ok, so I started getting scared.
*sigh*
I'm crazy.... but I'm here :)
How are you guys?
B
Sounds like life on life's terms, doesn't it? We have to learn to do this stuff without being numb and it's hard but you just don't give up. Better than what it used to be, huh? Good luck with school...I admire you for that.
Thank you, Cowgirl. I was just thinking of that. Like, being "present" is scary s***. But I'm hanging in there... just gotta keep pushing. *sigh* Although, I mean, my instinct to run and hide from everything really makes me realize why opiates have such a huge pull for me. I could do things and be places and stuff without having to be "there" if I didn't want to be.
Whew. It's different.
But I think it's good. Or it will be good. And bad. And good.
But I guess that's the point...
Whew. It's different.
But I think it's good. Or it will be good. And bad. And good.
But I guess that's the point...
LOL..good and the bad. Being present is just "it" for me right now. Being medicated made it so much easier to not to have to deal with all of that stuff, or at least I thought it was. The consquences aren't as horrible.
No, it's true, they aren't as horrible...
Part of my problem is that I'm so anxious (or have such a tendency to be anxious) is that I obsess about WHEN they are going to get horrible.
Like, IT HAS TO GET HORRIBLE, doesn't it?
Ha.
I need to f***ing chill is what I need to do. I mean, chill while being "present" - of course :)
Part of my problem is that I'm so anxious (or have such a tendency to be anxious) is that I obsess about WHEN they are going to get horrible.
Like, IT HAS TO GET HORRIBLE, doesn't it?
Ha.
I need to f***ing chill is what I need to do. I mean, chill while being "present" - of course :)
Chillin be good...lol Don't future trip..that was a hard lesson for me to learn. If I borrowed trouble, it usually would come to pass.
