My spouse is on day 19 of in patient rehab. It has been very hard and a rollercoaster of emotion. I find myself incredibly weepy and it just comes over me at times. At other times, I catch myself enjoying this time. Doing things I want to do without feeling like I am policing someone. Then I feel guilty. We had our first family meeting last week and I got to discuss how things have been for me due to this illness. What scares me most is my spouse telling me that some patients who were released have already returned due to relapse. I am looking forward to my spouse finishing this stay and also terrified about the possibility of relapse.
I know exactly how you feel. I am so afraid that after all is said and done my hubby will be drawn back into his own personal hell. He has 26 days to take over his life again and find ways to deal with the cravings that come when his pain is at its worse.(he is on day 4 of sub planning to be off in 30 days) I pray each day that he will learn more about himself and the whys and hows of his addiction. There is nothing I can do for him. I have to wait and see if he truely gets it. I know he is strong but this disease is stronger.....than I think he ever imagined. It is really hard to sit blindly by watching.....because there is nothing we can do....nothing at all........
Do you know the three C's, I know them and really don't like them but they are so true...........
We can't cure them
We didn't cause this
We have no control
I think that sucks.....but alas it is true.
So I offer you this, be patient with yourself and your spouse. Take it one day at a time. Don't feel guilty for any of your feelings, because they are yours and you are entitled to them. Most of all pray.....that he will find his way and you will find peace.
Tina
Do you know the three C's, I know them and really don't like them but they are so true...........
We can't cure them
We didn't cause this
We have no control
I think that sucks.....but alas it is true.
So I offer you this, be patient with yourself and your spouse. Take it one day at a time. Don't feel guilty for any of your feelings, because they are yours and you are entitled to them. Most of all pray.....that he will find his way and you will find peace.
Tina
Imagine- You are doing EVERYTHING right and you should feel good about not policing. Just know your spouse is not going through any picnic either. GREAT on the family meeting. See, in my opinion, what a lot of people don't understand is yes, this is a disease. It's a disease the affects the whole family. But it's also one that can be overcome. People can win this. So, support your spouse and if you want to cry, go right ahead. It will make you feel better.
Thank you both. It is a disease that affects the whole family.
I am so grateful to have you here for me.
I am so grateful to have you here for me.
Imagine-the thing is, we are all here for each other...I laugh, because it's like one big AA meeting..but know you'll get the support you REALLY need right now. My own wife has been hard on me..REAL HARD..and it's been a really short time for me..because she really dosen't understand this stuff..and till you go through it, it's hard, and I realize that. I spent 30 years with my own Mom saying "What are you doing????"..then, when it happened to me, I realized you are powerless over it. And until you surrender and realize that yes, it's a problem, you can't get well. I call it "The Silent Spring" for personal reasons.
