My crack addicted spouse, who has also had numerous rounds of opioid relapse in the last 26 years has gone out of state for treatment! The days before he left he kept saying I should date other people while he's gone and move on with my life. Now typically when he starts this crap I get scared and upset and reassure him that I will wait for him and help him but not this time. I finally realized he is scared and trying to manipulate and control me. It's completely ridiculous. I told him my girls and I need a break from all of his crazy and I don't know if we will be together. Wow. He was shocked and angry when he left and I felt sad but also more in control. After all he has put me thru over the years, I will take as much time as I need!
Hi Dirk, Nothing to do with drugs is ever easy is it? They take over peoples life's and destroy families. I'm sad for what you've been going through. Even though you think things might be difficult for you now and again, it will get better. You've taken control of your life and your in the drivers seat. It's time for you to have a decent life and to find some happiness for you and your girls. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and wishing you well. One day at a time you'll get through this. Take care and God bless. Mary.
It feels good to take care of yourself and treat yourself well. You are just as important as everyone else. Congrats!
Well done on taking back control of your life , my spouse is currently walking the streets looking for money to buy heroin
Thanks everyone. As we all know, just bc my spouse is in treatment does not mean all is well. He has been through treatment many times and even stays clean for years at a time, then he goes back on drugs. It's so sad that we can never feel secure or trust that they are ok. Even when he was clean I was thinking crazy thoughts. Is he acting weird? Shouldn't he be home now? Why did he withdraw money? Is he lying? Should I look through his car or wallet? Should I drug test him? And around and around we go. I have been sick with this crazy so long I barely react anymore when he does horrible stuff. So now I have to decide, do I divorce him? I know I should. I wish I didn't love him anymore. I know I deserve better. I'm 48. I have time to find happiness again. I just have to let go. My biggest shame is that sometimes I wish he would die, so it would finally be over. His death would be less painful than this. I know that's wrong but I can't help it. I mean 15 years of shooting up, overdoses, failed treatment, crack, stealing, lying, thousands of dollars wasted, anxiety, fear, distance, sadness. Enough.
Hi D, I admire you being able to step off this hellish merry-go-round we're all on. Your still young at 48.There's a whole other life out there waiting for you. Good luck, Mary
