Stacey??

I have a question about managing pain vs pain pills. My shoulder situation is improving slowly every so slowsly. However, I still cannot sleep at night. I am seeing a physical therapist. Two times a week and doing my stretches and such. I talked to my doctor and he seems to feel that I would be o.k. with taking loritab in the night if I cannot sleep. I am frightened of course to awaken the beast. I have wrestled with my concience and reasoned with my brain. I don't hurt during the day. I don't know if I should do it. But I will say, the sleepless nights are getting to me. I just want to stay honest, yet some how I feel like I should do it differently. Your kind of my go to person on this because frankly I don't know where else to go. Can you help me work through this? I have not filled the prescription and I don't want to do the wrong thing. So this question goes to Stacey CG Sammy Kat anyone, really, also anyone who has had pain issues. Help me stay accountable, recovering and real. Thanks everyone.
Hi Jane,

Here's a couple of questions first off....Does your doctor know you're in recovery? Have you tried Motrin 800 or Roboxin (sp)? Do you live with someone who could hold your med's for you?

Since I've been in recovery, I haven't had to take a pain pill. I am fortunate, that used to be a big fear of mine in early sobriety. I do remember, though, taking pills for pain and I would cross over everytime to the abuse. My brain cannot differentiate the difference between taking them for pain or for pleasure, I like the effects produced by pain pills so when I took them, it triggered that dragon and the compulsion began, the thoughts, the need, the desire.

I would pray on it, get real honest with yourself and then mediatate and see what your gut tells you to do, not what your head or your addict want you to do.

Let us know what you decide, stay open & accountable.

And have I told you lately how much I love and adore you~!
Smooches,
Stacey
Just my opinion...let's get that disclaimer out of the way...throw away the script Jane. Tear it up in tiny, tiny little pieces and then burn it or flush it.

If you needed this med to heal, you would need them during the day as well. It's bothering you at night...that won't last forever. Waking the beast, might.

Do you have a heating pad? I had strained my back about a month ago from lugging my granddaughter around in her car seat (damn things are heavy) and the only relieve I got was from the heating pad. I would sit on the couch with it at night while watching tv and by the time I went to bed, the muscle was loose enough for me to get some sleep. That and a couple of Advil.

I'm sorry darlin but the way you keep bringing this up makes me feel like your looking for an excuse to use. I may be 100% wrong and it's ok if that pisses you off, I can take it but that's just the vibe of your posts.

My rule of thumb is this, if you need pain meds, narcotics to be exact, you better be in a hospital or just come from one.
Thanks guys I truley value your opinons. I will pray and pray some more. I know I feel guilty when I think about it. I also know that when I wake up, at exactly two a.m. and writhing in pain and discomfort I t hink why the f*** do I feel guilty I hurt and this sucks and I have to continue to work and I am completely brain dead when I come to work the next day. I do accounting and manage the office where I work so its work where i have to concentrate and multitask. Wich I am thankfully quite capable of doing most days, but I have been making tons of mistakes since this issue, I am correcting more than I am accomplishing. IT SUCKS. But I also clearly remember that at one point those damn pain pills ment more to me than my children, husband, job, mom, dad.. on and on. I simply didn't give enough a s*** about anything to quit. THAT IS REAL. I keep telling myself one more night, I know it will feel better tomorrow. (I guess that is the theory of the one day at a time thing.) I have felt a tiny bit better each day. so I know I am living in the solution I am seeing the Physical Therapist, I take Ibuprohen, NSAIDS, and muscle relaxants to deal. I am managing. The sleepless nights?! Well we all know what they feel like. I guess I have been fortunate enough to have forgotten what not being able to sleep due to withdrawl felt like. I have been reminded. Jesus this sucks.
Edit to say Stacey yes my doctor knows. I just announce it each visit so that he doesn't "forget" and niether do I. I have used all NSAIDs and Ibuprohpen and I just live with me and the kids. No one to hold pills, my BF doesn't live with me. My brain cannot differentiate the difference between taking them for pain or for pleasure Niether can mine. I also don't know where the abuse starts. Its truley baffeling.
I'm not relapsing, but I did fill the script. I have it in the cupboard. I promise to God and you guys I will not take it unless I am hating it. I was using the board for permission to fill the prescription. Instead I am giving myself permission. I just cannot do the sleepless nights. If the pain killers don't help me sleep they are going in the toilet. I bought an additional large ice pack, I was told not to use the heat, it aggrivates my muscles. I have told my boyfriend, who is irritated that I am doing it. I have told you guys. I am remaining accountable as I can. I also have to take care of myself. I am all that I have. So say some prayers for me tonight. I will say a few thousand of my own. I go to Physical Therapy in the morning. I have two additional appointments. All I can do is keep doing what the doctors suggest take Ibuprophen use the Ice packs and pray. I will not use this as my step towards relapse but I will be completely honest with you all and myself. Thanks for listening.
Takes a lot to admit and tell on yourself...that's recovery. I'm proud of you Jane. Being accountable is also recovery but having those little demons in your cupboard is going to be anything but easy. You could of just as easily not said anything to us. Good for you. I just know how I am so that's all I've got to go on and I realize that others are different. I've known alot of addicts who could be honest, told the truth. I never did. I lied about everything to make myself feel and look better. No way could I have a bottle of pills in my house without anyone having control over them other than me.

Keep talking honey. If it makes you feel better, post every day about how you're doing and what you're doing.

I just want you to feel better. Your pain is real, no one is disputing that and no, we don't have to suffer just because we're addicts...I just wish you had more safety nets. What about giving them to your mom? A friend? The pharmacy?
Okay, Jane so can I ask how many the doctor gave you? And how did you do last night?

See, here is where I would encourage you to stay plugged in with your sponsor and check in every morning to stay accountable, to get it out of your head and spoken. And I'd also encourage you to attend meetings to keep it real fresh where you can return if you don't stay vigilant in your recovery.

Taking a pain pill as prescribed for pain is exactly how it is intended. For peep's like us, we have to stay very open to checking our motives and trying the others options first. Be very aware of that line and stay honest, especially with yourself and check your motives to see if the pain is manageable with the alternatives before taking that pain pill.

If anything changes, talk about it. Let us know how therapy went. If you can keep it to only taking 1ea at night, you should be through this fairly quickly and back in the saddle. If the complusion/desire takes over, you'll know it right away....that's when the head starts chattering how the pain is worse now during the day so one won't hurt after work, or the doctor prescribed X amount so you should take them until gone, yada, yada.

Stay aware & vigilant, my friend....we're here to help you stay accountable, we're not judging.

Smooches,
Stacey
got to tell you that if you filled that script, you're going to fall back to where you were. Forgive my bluntness here, the best thing for you is to flush those tabs. Get yourself to a meeting.
I disagree.

Plenty of recovering addicts have had to take pain meds for one thing or another and didn't get addicted to them.

Of course plenty of recovering addicts have fallen into this trap as well.
I did.

I can't say what anyone's outcome will be in this situation. I'm not sure I can even predict what my own outcome would be at this point.

All I can do is lend support and hope for the best.
Oh Lisa, Do I know about lying. I don't think when I was actively using that one word that was honest came out of my mouth. I still struggle with being completely honest with people that I don't really trust. So I get what you are saying. I came here to expose myself in an effort of being honest. I hope I stay that way. And I do want to come on here and tell you'all how everythings going. So I know when enough is enough.

Stacey- When I called my doctor I asked for low dose low quantity. I ended up with more than I need. 20, 7.5s. That is what my downfall was. Those damn things. I am not only afraid of them but I respect the fact that they have taken over my life more than once. I woke up in the night as expected and took one. I went right back to sleep. I didn't try to stay awake and feel the high. I just went right back to sleep. I woke up a little early but I had the most consecutive hours of sleep I have had in several weeks. My shoulder/neck hurt like hell. So I just got out of bed made a pot of coffee and did my stretches/excersizes. I mentally could not get going very quick so I just drank another cup of coffee got ready and went to Physical Therapy. They had me do bicycle arm thing, gave me a massage and hooked me to electrodes. Then I went to work. poured one more cup of coffee and took a Motrin. I have been good today. Pain is reasonable. It usually doesn't hurt that bad till the middle of the night after it has had a chance to freeze up. So ya. One during the middle of the night till it heals up I guess. I have two more PT appointments next week. I have excersize stretches they have me do two times daily at home. So I feel more optimistic than I have in a while.

Mark and newcommer person. Thanks for your intrest I feel like an expiriment, like people watching me through the glass. I cannot predict the outcome either. I am only human but I am being as honest as I know how to be. I am open to your suggestions/opinions. And I am willing to be called out when I or if I step over the line. Thanks for joining in. I by no means think I have this disease by the balls. Quite the opposite. I wouldn't f*** with it if I wasn't feeling terrible.
I mentally could not get going very quick so I just drank another cup of coffee got ready and went to Physical Therapy.

Probably residual effects from taking the pain pills.

Jane,

7.5 is not a low dose so be very careful. 20 pills of my DOC is a relapse on it's way. You are at a very pivotal point in your recovery. My suggestion is to keep very close to God, keep praying, keep asking for guidance. You can always call the doctor back and ask for the lower dose or one that's not your DOC and return what you have to the pharmacist. Your disease is doing push-ups and all the pieces are laying there, waiting to see which path you're going to take. Here's also where I would suggest getting that Big book out and reading The Doctor's Opinion in the beginning of the book, where it describes the physical allergy coupled with the mental obsession. That mental twist we addicts suffer from, bodily and mentally different from our fellows.

Try and hit a meeting this weekend. You earned your seat there and maybe it'll help keep you accountable, all you have to do is sit and listen. I will check the board every morning to see how you're doing so check-in.

xoxo
Stacey
I gotta jump in here. . . first I'm wondering if you've tried the NSAIDS and muscle relaxers at 2 AM that work for you during the day? I say that because bad pain that wakes you up suddenly at the same time every night sounds like whatever you took during the day is wearing off. As a nurse whose specialty is palliative nursing I have seen what you are describing before. But maybe you already tried Motrin at night and it doesn't work?

But I also need to say that if you got relief in just a few minutes and fell back to sleep that Motrin might work just as well because it would be really unusual for any medication to act that fast. It takes ten minutes or so just for the med to dissolve. And if freezing up is the issue, a Motrin can work better because at best the Lortab can block the pain, the Motrin can actually help resolve it. Also, have you tried stretching it carefully and putting on an ice pack?

I wonder, too, if it's possible that part of the reason you went back to sleep right away was because you wanted, hoped for and expected the Lortab to work? From what you posted on the F/F board, you have plenty in addition to pain to keep you awake at night. It's awful to be jolted out of sleep by pain, especially when you then have the worries of the day and the worrying about not getting back to sleep to deal with!

And lastly, be careful about using what this doc says as support for taking the Lortabs. Lortabs are available in strengths starting at 2.5mg. I just don't understand why he would give you 20 of the 7.5s when he knows your history. "He seems to feel that I would be o.k. with taking loritab in the night if I cannot sleep." I think in this case you know best.

Just my $.02 worth. Good luck with all of your recoveries!
Hi ther justjane,

I was thinking the same thing- what works for you during the day? If it is NSAIdS plus panadol/ panadol & codiene, if you can take that , plus positioning e.g. being upright, follow that same regime at night. If it means sleeping in a rocker recliner, then do so. Beg/ borrow one for a week or so. Another adjuvent therapy is the hot pack suggestion and a TENS machine may provide relief.

Shoulders do hurt but you have gone this long, don't bust now. The worst pain should be over - you had surgery didn't you?

Well done and don't go with the script cos I think that if you had needed it it would have been in the first 36/48 hours, then keep the paracetsmol and NSAID levels constant in your blood = regular 4 hourly panadol and 6 hourly NSAIDS. Round the clock if you can't sleep all night take the regular meds on time= on the hour.


If your doctor knows your situation it wlud help your choices too.

Best of lick and this is from someone who is in the profession of acute pain services and surgery but I do work with pain teams who offer chronic pain relief and local anaesthesia ( yes needles) which can give you a block to a shoulder region which lasts 24 hours or so. Thtat is another altrnative , to have a nerve block so you can sleep becasue as you get tired your sensitivity to pain heightens.

Onya girl.

luv from kazz from ozz
Jane,
Just keep in mind the real dangers of those little pills.
For me, the danger would lie not only in the possibility of becoming acutely addicted in the short term...
I, like you, could probably manage to avoid that by being scared of that outcome and being hyper-vigilant.

The real problem would be if I managed to work through that bottle of pain pills without becoming physically addicted!
My disease is so insidious...
My inner addict would then tell me that I can control my use of opiates; that I have somehow grown and matured to the point that now I am like everyone else and can use opiates if prescribed by a doctor. Or even if not prescribed by a doctor, so long as I am careful...

I kid you not. That's how my addict brain would sabotage me.
Then one day I'd have a toothache or a backache and... Snap! What ever happened to Mark?

Those little pills are as dangerous to me as a loaded gun in the hands of an infant.
How awesome is it to have experienced nurses on here to help us out...talking all professional-like? Kazz and MamaKitty, you rawk!

How's it going gals?

Peace ~ M&M
Jane,

Check-in and let us know what's up, how you are doing, what you are doing........

Be accountable.

Smooch,
Stacey
Ok, so I have been doing a little better each day. I have been taking one pain killer at night/early a.m. when I wake up. Last night the story of the milk mixed with wiskey entered my mind. I guess that is the last one I will be taking. I haven't flushed them but I intend to this evening. I am done with this s***. I have two more PT appointments this week. I have a ski date with my BF on the weekend. I HAVE GOT TO FEEL BETTER and I do... a little. I will check in tonight right after I watch the swirling water of the toilet take them down.Thanks for comming along with me. I am accountable and getting better.
Hi jane.....Im just wondering how you are doing?I said in another post Ive been lurking for awhile now so Ive been reading your thread here & hope your feeling better
mj
Good girl, Jane. We'll be waiting, nothing like a good ole fashioned flush party~!

Last night the story of the milk mixed with wiskey entered my mind.

I love the Big book, it's saved my a*ss too many times to count and I'm glad to see God working in your life & recovery too.

And as far as the ski date, if you're not physically up to it, doesn't mean you can't go and just hang out. Don't push yourself to where you get injured or suffer, your sobriety needs to remain first and foremost.

Glad you made it through, I truly am.

Smooches,
Stacey
There were too many times to count, when I first came here to this board, that I said I flushed em and didn't. Didn't tell on myself either.

You will feel better. Time takes time. Just remember that when that script is gone, getting another isn't going to help anymore than the first script did. I'm not saying that's what you're going to do, only relaying what I've done.

As far as getting physically addicted, it only takes one pill for addicts for that to happen. We don't get that 2 week grace period or whatever it is that normies have before they are physically dependant. One pill...only one.

We're pulling for you Jane..love you to death.