Hi Everyone, Okay I'm gonna post Step 2, so here goes:
Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
"THE ROOT OF OUR TROUBLES"
Selfishness---self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 63
"How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What a relief to know that people, places and things will be perfectly okay without my control and direction. And how wordlessly wonderful to come to believe that a power greater than me exists separate and apart from myself. I believe that the feeling of separation I experience between me and God will one day vanish. In the meantime, faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life."
I never had trouble with the God concept...however the God of my understanding when I was out there using and drinking was a God that I prayed to, to get me out of immediate jams....for example, sick as dog lying on the bathroom floor, throwing up continuously, praying: God, if you make me feel better, I'll stop, I swear I'll drop drinking and druggin'...and with Police following me when I had a bindle in the car: "God let me get through this and I promise...." I now believe I have been restored to sanity, I was out there when I first got sober...I was on a total "spin dry"....for the first year about...anyhoo, now I pray to God and turn my will and my life over to him....but, this is more like Step 3...so I'm jumpin' ahead. I'll end with this, I am grateful that there is a Power greater than me out there, and it's not me, and I believe that this Power has restored me to sane and rational thinking (most days, lol).
This is the step where I have to keep coming back and reminding myself I can't restore my sanity on my own, heck, I can't even balance a checkbook. The realization there is a Higher Power we can turn to. Step 2 isn't the decision step. It's just the step where we come to a realization, and now, what are we going to do with that realization?
Thats my immediate thoughts for right now, when I get more time, I'll try to pull from my head and heart more thoughts....
Thanks VW, for spearheading this....
Thats my immediate thoughts for right now, when I get more time, I'll try to pull from my head and heart more thoughts....
Thanks VW, for spearheading this....
Step 2 was a struggle for me because of my old religeous beliefs and the pain caused growing up in that crazy confessional okayed mayhem. Then in the recovery centre i was in and struggling with the god side a maori fella says its simple fire your old god and find a new one Done and since that day i only have to deal with my insanity if i don't allow god in which is rare because god is all around me a smile there a wave here a bird song a persons sharing. The miracles of god are all around if i choose to see them and yes sh*t still does happen in this world but i don't have to face it alone and for that this sometimes insane alky is forever grateful.
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
I heard this,again, at a meeting tonight it seems apropo...
"Either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" Page 53.
Rachel
"Either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" Page 53.
Rachel
"Either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?"
Rachel thank you for posting that.
Zac - Yes it IS a hard one I agree. I too struggle with the concept of God and religion because of past experiences and upbringing etc.
I actually don't like to use the word "God" because to me it doesn't represent what most people think of as "God." So I don't want to be misunderstood or misinterpreted.
In the last few years I have learned to separate the spirit or HP from the idea of religion. For me this is the first big step in accepting that power into my life. I have a lot of negative baggage over religion and really want nothing whatever to do with it.
However, I cannot deny the existence of a creative, intelligence at work in the universe. An intelligence which is available to us at all times. It is a power greater than ourselves.
My second difficulty is learning to and remembering to trust in that power, which is all knowing. My ego continually jumps in to try and fix things, or thinks I know best. I find using meditation is the best way for me to connect with that power. When I neglect to do this on a regular basis I quickly find myself back in the ego of trying to sort everything out myself.
Step 2 needs constant reinforcement for me as well as Step 1. It is not something that you figure out once and go "ok got it now." Its like food or water, you need it every day.
Rachel thank you for posting that.
Zac - Yes it IS a hard one I agree. I too struggle with the concept of God and religion because of past experiences and upbringing etc.
I actually don't like to use the word "God" because to me it doesn't represent what most people think of as "God." So I don't want to be misunderstood or misinterpreted.
In the last few years I have learned to separate the spirit or HP from the idea of religion. For me this is the first big step in accepting that power into my life. I have a lot of negative baggage over religion and really want nothing whatever to do with it.
However, I cannot deny the existence of a creative, intelligence at work in the universe. An intelligence which is available to us at all times. It is a power greater than ourselves.
My second difficulty is learning to and remembering to trust in that power, which is all knowing. My ego continually jumps in to try and fix things, or thinks I know best. I find using meditation is the best way for me to connect with that power. When I neglect to do this on a regular basis I quickly find myself back in the ego of trying to sort everything out myself.
Step 2 needs constant reinforcement for me as well as Step 1. It is not something that you figure out once and go "ok got it now." Its like food or water, you need it every day.
Hey Idgie yeah i used to struggle saying god but hey i'm a male and it's easier to say god than higher power and quicker to type. Medidtation is good and my recovery and spirituality rely on each other so much.
I now don't care what anyone prays to as long as it stands for good and they aren't trying to convert me or get money out of me. Here's a story i carried in my wallet for ages till it fell to bits
" Footprints in the Sand
One night a man had a dream-
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the lord
And across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonged to him and the other to the lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
He looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed, that many times along the path of his life
There was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
And saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once i decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way,
But i have noticed that during the most troublesome
Times in my life there is only one set of footprints,
I don't understand why in times when i need you
Most you should leave me".
The lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never, never leave you
During your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then i carried you".
Bloody hell that was a typing marathon well worth it and in my mind i know that my higher power has got bloody strong arms at times and other times i'm sure his footprints are dancing in the sand with mine
Light and love Zac
I now don't care what anyone prays to as long as it stands for good and they aren't trying to convert me or get money out of me. Here's a story i carried in my wallet for ages till it fell to bits
" Footprints in the Sand
One night a man had a dream-
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the lord
And across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonged to him and the other to the lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
He looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed, that many times along the path of his life
There was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
And saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once i decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way,
But i have noticed that during the most troublesome
Times in my life there is only one set of footprints,
I don't understand why in times when i need you
Most you should leave me".
The lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never, never leave you
During your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then i carried you".
Bloody hell that was a typing marathon well worth it and in my mind i know that my higher power has got bloody strong arms at times and other times i'm sure his footprints are dancing in the sand with mine
Light and love Zac
Well Done Zac!!
Good reading my friend,
Things are good here today well since we spoke on sunday,
Few minor changes, Keeping house(renting it out)
I realise tonite why I drive a truck for a living,
Because Im a hopeless interior decorater, been fixing up bits and peices around here,
Tomorrow off, going to have a meal with Daz an Olly tomorrow evening,
So looking foward to that,
Take care Keep warm!
Ginge
Good reading my friend,
Things are good here today well since we spoke on sunday,
Few minor changes, Keeping house(renting it out)
I realise tonite why I drive a truck for a living,
Because Im a hopeless interior decorater, been fixing up bits and peices around here,
Tomorrow off, going to have a meal with Daz an Olly tomorrow evening,
So looking foward to that,
Take care Keep warm!
Ginge
"How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What a relief to know that people, places and things will be perfectly okay without my control and direction. "
What a wonderful feeling to know I don't have to run the world or at least my little part of it!
I had a big problem with religion most of my life. I wanted God to be there but just couldn't grasp any religion's version of Him. I was raised Catholic and didn't really like what the priests and nuns taught me. I couldn't figure out why I had to tell some guy what I had done wrong and just by him saying so, I was forgiven. Why couldn't I just talk to God all by myself? And why did I have to pray the words in some book and not just tell God how I felt in my own words? There were many things I couldn't accept that I had learned in childhood, most importantly was why would everyone that was not Catholic go to hell? Were Catholics the only good people? That didn't make sense to me. In my 20s I read about other religions and couldn't accept what they taught either. When I came to AA you told me if I had a problem with religion I could have a God of my own understanding. Wow! What a concept! My God could be loving and fair and forgiving and want only good things for me. And since I've been sober, I've had nothing but good things happen. I was unemployable and was able to go back to school and find a decent job. I work with recovering alkies and addicts every day at a halfway house. I have a wonderful house my boss rents to me. My life has never been better. Sanity has returned. I don't do those crazy things I did when I was drunk or high. I am no longer depressed or extremely anxious. Life is good. Not the life I had before I lost control of alcohol and drugs, but a much better life than I ever imagined. Thank God for AA.
lovin ya's
What a wonderful feeling to know I don't have to run the world or at least my little part of it!
I had a big problem with religion most of my life. I wanted God to be there but just couldn't grasp any religion's version of Him. I was raised Catholic and didn't really like what the priests and nuns taught me. I couldn't figure out why I had to tell some guy what I had done wrong and just by him saying so, I was forgiven. Why couldn't I just talk to God all by myself? And why did I have to pray the words in some book and not just tell God how I felt in my own words? There were many things I couldn't accept that I had learned in childhood, most importantly was why would everyone that was not Catholic go to hell? Were Catholics the only good people? That didn't make sense to me. In my 20s I read about other religions and couldn't accept what they taught either. When I came to AA you told me if I had a problem with religion I could have a God of my own understanding. Wow! What a concept! My God could be loving and fair and forgiving and want only good things for me. And since I've been sober, I've had nothing but good things happen. I was unemployable and was able to go back to school and find a decent job. I work with recovering alkies and addicts every day at a halfway house. I have a wonderful house my boss rents to me. My life has never been better. Sanity has returned. I don't do those crazy things I did when I was drunk or high. I am no longer depressed or extremely anxious. Life is good. Not the life I had before I lost control of alcohol and drugs, but a much better life than I ever imagined. Thank God for AA.
lovin ya's
zac wow thanks for posting that.
12-stepper great addition to this thread. Yes, religion was always a big problem for me too so I know where you're coming from on that. I have now learned to separate spirituality from religion.
I always say that religion is 90% man and 10% God whereas spirituality is 100% God.
Well I've learnt that I cannot restore myself to sanity, lord knows I have tried every which way and when I forget and try to figure it out for myself yet again the madness and crazy illogical thought patterns quickly return. Before long I've convinced myself that the sky is green and the ocean yellow. Its amazing how my addiction can make the most insane, irrational argument seem perfectly normal and ok to me.
Then when you pull yourself out of that addictive thinking for a bit its like HUH??????? What was I thinking???????
I am also slowly learning that my truth is not the truth - something else I have to remind myself of every day.
12-stepper great addition to this thread. Yes, religion was always a big problem for me too so I know where you're coming from on that. I have now learned to separate spirituality from religion.
I always say that religion is 90% man and 10% God whereas spirituality is 100% God.
Well I've learnt that I cannot restore myself to sanity, lord knows I have tried every which way and when I forget and try to figure it out for myself yet again the madness and crazy illogical thought patterns quickly return. Before long I've convinced myself that the sky is green and the ocean yellow. Its amazing how my addiction can make the most insane, irrational argument seem perfectly normal and ok to me.
Then when you pull yourself out of that addictive thinking for a bit its like HUH??????? What was I thinking???????
I am also slowly learning that my truth is not the truth - something else I have to remind myself of every day.
I've been contemplating Step 2 and I had a sort of epiphany about what it means for me...I work Step 2 firmly believing that God can and has restored me to sanity...at the end of my run I was nuts! I couldn't get sober for the life of me, literally, and until I stopped doing the same thing over and over again (drinking/druggin') that I was slowly restored to some type of rational and realistic thoughts and actions. However, there are times when I don't rely on God for my sanity and take it back (my will) and the insane behavior returns; I simply become a dry drunk. So, yes, knowing and believing that I have and can always be restored to sanity upon working Step 2, well life goes so much better for me and for all those around me. Hope this makes sense!
In the Lord's Prayer, it says: Thy Will Be Done
In the 9 years that I was drinking I was trying to live my will, not God's. Steps 2 and 3 tell me that if I pray that God will work "his will" through me, I can stay sane and sober. My will obviously does not work, it got me all the way to treatment.
The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results." He restores me to sanity by stopping me from repeating my alcoholic behaviors, which got me nowhere but low.
pg 417 of the big book is very good, I will only post a little.
"Shakespeare said "all the world is a stage, and all the men and women are mearly players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better that God.
Work on living God's will and not your own, nothing that happens does on accident. Acceptance is the key.
In the 9 years that I was drinking I was trying to live my will, not God's. Steps 2 and 3 tell me that if I pray that God will work "his will" through me, I can stay sane and sober. My will obviously does not work, it got me all the way to treatment.
The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results." He restores me to sanity by stopping me from repeating my alcoholic behaviors, which got me nowhere but low.
pg 417 of the big book is very good, I will only post a little.
"Shakespeare said "all the world is a stage, and all the men and women are mearly players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better that God.
Work on living God's will and not your own, nothing that happens does on accident. Acceptance is the key.
Lovin' Life ~ thanks for that...love that Big Book!
"We can't think our way sober....(from the Daily Reflections)
To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman many AA's can say, Yes, we were like you - far too smart for our own good...Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone. (As Bill Sees It, p. 60)
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a God-given attribute that I may use, a joy - like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity - not a high IQ or a college degree."
To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman many AA's can say, Yes, we were like you - far too smart for our own good...Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone. (As Bill Sees It, p. 60)
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a God-given attribute that I may use, a joy - like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity - not a high IQ or a college degree."
VWGirl - from the bottom of my heart thank you for posting that. I logged on here this evening in the hope I would find a little help. And that post was it.
That's exactly where I've been falling down today - I've been trying to think myself sober and in consequence I've just managed to think myself into a big twisted insane knot.
I'm going to spend some time right now meditating and praying instead.
thanks for being there when I needed you.
Idgie
That's exactly where I've been falling down today - I've been trying to think myself sober and in consequence I've just managed to think myself into a big twisted insane knot.
I'm going to spend some time right now meditating and praying instead.
thanks for being there when I needed you.
Idgie
Hi Idgie, It's funny I just opened up to that passage in my little Daily Reflections book...that's what called a "God shot"...I posted and you needed it...I like that too, my ego (E = edging G = God O = out), totally gets in the way sometimes, I think I know better than my Higher Power (I'm smarter, well my best thinking got me drunk and high most of the time ~ brilliant), I had to stop myself yesterday and say to myself: "wow, that's pretty arrogant thinking you know better than your Higher Power"...sometimes ~ LOL!
