nd frusteraeted and tired--H.A.L.T. is my middle name i have great things going on my own apartment, a great job, steady family influence good health(mostly) but something feels off-im lonely, i dont like living alone, i never have, i have my son--but you know what i mean i want someone to play with, laugh and giggle. i gogogogo all day (which is good form) BUT THEN WHEN I DO HAVE DOWN TIME I JUST FEEL DETATCHED, LONELY, AND OUT OF PLACE i know im sorry-- i need to be more gratefull--i am i really am i just feel a little scared that im gonna become an old spinster, i dont know im confused relationships have always been hard for me i am not good at making friends or feeling comfortable aound new people and that keeps me seperate from alot which only intensifies the issue--what a tangled web we weave.....
Hey Amity! I get that aswell around new people... That was the good thing about drugs, you didn't give a sh*t you spoke to everyone and anyone, confidence was sky high also...always life and soul of the party( well except when we were sick!) I can't remember if i was like that b4 i started using drugs or that drugs have made me like this ????
It won't be like this forever... we'll get there in the end. Take care, Kev
It won't be like this forever... we'll get there in the end. Take care, Kev
Amity, I think all addicts are alone in their souls, and it's tough to find a connection with people who have absolutely no idea about our life experiences. Let's face it, it's really hard to describe what it's like, being a heroin addict, really hard to convey what a catastrophic effect it has had on our lives. And most of the time we shy away from it anyway, coz it's so much headwork, and at the end of it, it's not going improve our image, is it?
I understand what it's like, being a mammy all day, and going from one day to the next without having a proper conversation with an adult. I love my daughter to bits, but I look forward to her going to bed at night so me and my boyfriend can have some time to ourselves. But relationships can be worse than anything. Me and my boyfriend had a big row last night, and now I'm sporting a lovely black eye. Went to town this morning, and I caught sight of myself in a mirror. I had to laugh - I looked like I'd just walked off the film set for the Matrix films. Black boots, black tights, black miniskirt, black shirt, black hat and black sunglasses - indoors! Then I made a complete arse of myself and fell over on the slippy floor of the mall. I was carrying a humongous tub of paint at the time, so there was real potential for a serious Frank Spencer moment, but fortunately the paint stayed intact!
Anyway, the worst thing about the fight is that he hit me in front of our daughter. The poor little mite didn't know what was going on, and was so confused. Later, she just clung to me like a limpet, and kept touching my face where it had bruised. She didn't want anything to do with her father. She's not 7 months yet, but she picks up on so much.
Hope you're feeling better...
love
Diff x
I understand what it's like, being a mammy all day, and going from one day to the next without having a proper conversation with an adult. I love my daughter to bits, but I look forward to her going to bed at night so me and my boyfriend can have some time to ourselves. But relationships can be worse than anything. Me and my boyfriend had a big row last night, and now I'm sporting a lovely black eye. Went to town this morning, and I caught sight of myself in a mirror. I had to laugh - I looked like I'd just walked off the film set for the Matrix films. Black boots, black tights, black miniskirt, black shirt, black hat and black sunglasses - indoors! Then I made a complete arse of myself and fell over on the slippy floor of the mall. I was carrying a humongous tub of paint at the time, so there was real potential for a serious Frank Spencer moment, but fortunately the paint stayed intact!
Anyway, the worst thing about the fight is that he hit me in front of our daughter. The poor little mite didn't know what was going on, and was so confused. Later, she just clung to me like a limpet, and kept touching my face where it had bruised. She didn't want anything to do with her father. She's not 7 months yet, but she picks up on so much.
Hope you're feeling better...
love
Diff x
Diff yer right.....the baby will easily pick up on the negative vibes.....looking back on my own mother&fathers relationship which was one of alcoholic physical abuse...i cant put an age on when i picked up or remembered the first swear word or sound of a smack but i knew the feeling of fear and that the situ.was just not right came pretty early...2/3yr.i suppose....he will do it again you know it ...please get out of this guys life ...coz its obvious he means nothing to you and vicsa versa....if you hang about how long will it take for him to hit the child ...is that beyond him?or are you gonna be his punchbag.Diff im truely sorry if ive gone on a bit but having my daughter on me todd makes me feel very strongly bout this abusive stuff.
Please put you and Rowanne first....i know you will...take care of yerself........Davey
Please put you and Rowanne first....i know you will...take care of yerself........Davey
moved to "diff" thread.
GRATITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amity, you are always grateful...........each time you come on this board you help other people.........you mess around with us all and share laughs........you say what you are thankful for...........how about the time you were worried about the chick lived with ya snd her son?
It's not being selfish to convey how ya feel.........or ask for what ya need.......you are so worthy.............yes you are.
Amity, you have expressed you were always shy...........before ya ever did a drug.........how ya feel not part of things............you know who you are......so O.K. me and my therapy.........hre's what she says to me "How does dating Amity look?".............How does Amity going to dinner and a movie look?"...like what are ya not giving out on the bus or at work or in the market that has ya not meeting people? Men people to be exact........yeah you're a man lover....LOL.
Look I ain't got the answers..........ain't even got them for myself........but it's a place to start........cause God knows we don't wanna be........1.) Spinster 2.) Old Maid 3.) Old Auntie 4.) A "Snoop Sister"..............yeah these are the things my brother says I am or am going to be........LOL.........he's joking and frankly I could give a shoot.........but:
YOU ARE WORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have so much to offer..........now we gotta have ya sit in some quiet and think "Hmmmmmmm, what does Amity need to do to put herself out there to meet a nice gentleman?".......and we go from there............then we figure me the heck out........LOL
OR all us girls on here go shack up at Zero Girls house............her husband won't mind us all living with him.........OR we do Diff's new house.......the one that looks like The Bratz Doll Mansion.........I get dibs on the hot tub, K?
Amity, you are always grateful...........each time you come on this board you help other people.........you mess around with us all and share laughs........you say what you are thankful for...........how about the time you were worried about the chick lived with ya snd her son?
It's not being selfish to convey how ya feel.........or ask for what ya need.......you are so worthy.............yes you are.
Amity, you have expressed you were always shy...........before ya ever did a drug.........how ya feel not part of things............you know who you are......so O.K. me and my therapy.........hre's what she says to me "How does dating Amity look?".............How does Amity going to dinner and a movie look?"...like what are ya not giving out on the bus or at work or in the market that has ya not meeting people? Men people to be exact........yeah you're a man lover....LOL.
Look I ain't got the answers..........ain't even got them for myself........but it's a place to start........cause God knows we don't wanna be........1.) Spinster 2.) Old Maid 3.) Old Auntie 4.) A "Snoop Sister"..............yeah these are the things my brother says I am or am going to be........LOL.........he's joking and frankly I could give a shoot.........but:
YOU ARE WORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have so much to offer..........now we gotta have ya sit in some quiet and think "Hmmmmmmm, what does Amity need to do to put herself out there to meet a nice gentleman?".......and we go from there............then we figure me the heck out........LOL
OR all us girls on here go shack up at Zero Girls house............her husband won't mind us all living with him.........OR we do Diff's new house.......the one that looks like The Bratz Doll Mansion.........I get dibs on the hot tub, K?
Where ya at, Sister Amity?
