I can't take much more of this crap here...
My sis lives for free... she just swans about like lady muck spending money like it's going out of fashion without any contribution to the utility bills and food...
I cook every night for everyone and she comes in and plunks her fat a** down taking me for granted...
The whole thing is winding me up as I get nagged at to pay which I do without question and they just ignore it from her because of all the hassle and excuses they get!!! Double standards as always... it makes me wanna move out.
The whole thing makes me just want to drink because I'm so worked up about it... it's unfair the way she behaves... she's a selfish child.
She's got rent to pay coming up again... and I can see what's going to happen... yet again... she'll pay it for 2 weeks and then just stop... saying she can't afford it... which is bulls***. If she was living on her own she'd have to pay a landlord or a mortgage...
She's always got money to entertain her friends and buy endless amounts of clothes... but no money to pay her way... I wish she'd grow up... infantile person...
Sorry about this... but I have a bottle of whisky sitting and I'm determined not to drink it. I've had it for about a month... just sitting... I need to get some of this tension out and I'm feeling really down today...
Izzy
Hey Izzy
If you can get outside and blow off some of that tension and nervous energy with some exercise. A really long brisk walk or run. Just get out and get some fresh air into your lungs and work up a sweat. It will do you good.
Then just say that serenity prayer over and over again. You've got a huge resentment going on and its a killer. It will lead you back to a drink eventually if you don't let it go.
Is your sister being who she is worth your sobriety?
You can't change your sister Izzy or your parents. You can only change your reaction to them and to the situation. That's of course easy to say and hard to do. But the hard truth is YOU are the only one who will suffer from this anger and resentment you're carrying around - they could care less.
its good to get all the feelings out by posting here - now that they're out do some deep breathing or meditation exercises to work on just letting it all go. You may have to do them over and over again each time the emotions pop up. Its a process Izzy.
Thinking of you
Idgie..
If you can get outside and blow off some of that tension and nervous energy with some exercise. A really long brisk walk or run. Just get out and get some fresh air into your lungs and work up a sweat. It will do you good.
Then just say that serenity prayer over and over again. You've got a huge resentment going on and its a killer. It will lead you back to a drink eventually if you don't let it go.
Is your sister being who she is worth your sobriety?
You can't change your sister Izzy or your parents. You can only change your reaction to them and to the situation. That's of course easy to say and hard to do. But the hard truth is YOU are the only one who will suffer from this anger and resentment you're carrying around - they could care less.
its good to get all the feelings out by posting here - now that they're out do some deep breathing or meditation exercises to work on just letting it all go. You may have to do them over and over again each time the emotions pop up. Its a process Izzy.
Thinking of you
Idgie..
Hey thanks Idgie... you're so lovely... sometimes I feel that my worries are kindo of pathetic and I don't want to post what I'm feeling after reading posts like Zac's about his poor mom... It makes me sad to read but I never know what to say so I figure saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing... although I would like him to know he's in my thoughts...
You're right... they're not worth my sobriety... I'm not 100% sober yet but I am on my way to being with therapy and counselling.... which I am getting now.
I'm really concentrating on my dog right now more than anything... he's had to go to the vets because he's been itchy again and it just makes me so worried... he looks right deep into my eyes and I can see how he's feeling... he gets so uptight and distressed when he's itchy that it just knocks me when I'm not around him. I always try to be strong and a good 'role model' for him and he trusts me implicitely. He's been on meds and he's doing good now though... so I am glad... he's my baby...
I do have a lot of subconscious resentment I think because I don't actually feel it physically or mentally but deep down I am angry about a lot of things that have happened... and that continue to happen here... my sis has always done what she's done and screw how it affects those around her. I'm not like that... I like for things to be out in the open no secrets and total honesty. My sis is a compulsive liar. I don't know where she gets it from it must just be nature because she certainly wasn't brought up like that...
A woman I am in touch with thinks she may be suffering with Bordeline like myself... but she's so different to me... I don't know...
Anyway... sorry for blethering...
Take care
Izzy X
You're right... they're not worth my sobriety... I'm not 100% sober yet but I am on my way to being with therapy and counselling.... which I am getting now.
I'm really concentrating on my dog right now more than anything... he's had to go to the vets because he's been itchy again and it just makes me so worried... he looks right deep into my eyes and I can see how he's feeling... he gets so uptight and distressed when he's itchy that it just knocks me when I'm not around him. I always try to be strong and a good 'role model' for him and he trusts me implicitely. He's been on meds and he's doing good now though... so I am glad... he's my baby...
I do have a lot of subconscious resentment I think because I don't actually feel it physically or mentally but deep down I am angry about a lot of things that have happened... and that continue to happen here... my sis has always done what she's done and screw how it affects those around her. I'm not like that... I like for things to be out in the open no secrets and total honesty. My sis is a compulsive liar. I don't know where she gets it from it must just be nature because she certainly wasn't brought up like that...
A woman I am in touch with thinks she may be suffering with Bordeline like myself... but she's so different to me... I don't know...
Anyway... sorry for blethering...
Take care
Izzy X
Dear Izzy,
Hi there hun, hang in there I know how stress can cause you to drink, but you will only feel worse for it, Get yourself busy to blow off some steam, and try getting what's bugging you off your chest by journalling or talking to a friend, I find having a nice hot bath with loads of bubbles relieves the stresses of the day.
Take care,
lovedove
Hey Izzy
no worries mate LOL
you just share away. Although its healthy to have gratitude that our problems could be worse we also have to acknowledge our own feelings about the problems we do have.
They might be small or large compared to other people's but they are OURS and our feelings go along with them. So don't feel guilt.
Hey give that doggy of yours a big old hug and kiss from me. Animals are so therapeutic aren't thy? That unconditional love they give us.
except my cat can build up a bit of a resentment and latch onto my leg with teeth and 4 sets of claws if I don't do his bidding quite quick enough LOL. (you ever had a battle of wills with an Oriental? LOL its not pretty for the human).
But that furry monster has lifted my spirits more times than I can count with his wacko antics and love and affection.
take care Iz and have a good weekend.
Idgie.
no worries mate LOL
you just share away. Although its healthy to have gratitude that our problems could be worse we also have to acknowledge our own feelings about the problems we do have.
They might be small or large compared to other people's but they are OURS and our feelings go along with them. So don't feel guilt.
Hey give that doggy of yours a big old hug and kiss from me. Animals are so therapeutic aren't thy? That unconditional love they give us.
except my cat can build up a bit of a resentment and latch onto my leg with teeth and 4 sets of claws if I don't do his bidding quite quick enough LOL. (you ever had a battle of wills with an Oriental? LOL its not pretty for the human).
But that furry monster has lifted my spirits more times than I can count with his wacko antics and love and affection.
take care Iz and have a good weekend.
Idgie.
Izzy,
Idgie and Love-Dove provided you with a lot of good feedback...I know your situation is difficult at best, but just keep posting about it and get that crap out....pour the whiskey down the drain. Remember, when you are having a bad day you can start your day over at any time, even if it's 11:00 pm.....I am often reminded I can't change those around me, I can only change my reaction to their behaviors. Hang in there!
Idgie and Love-Dove provided you with a lot of good feedback...I know your situation is difficult at best, but just keep posting about it and get that crap out....pour the whiskey down the drain. Remember, when you are having a bad day you can start your day over at any time, even if it's 11:00 pm.....I am often reminded I can't change those around me, I can only change my reaction to their behaviors. Hang in there!
Hey Izzy
What is going on for you is just as important as what is going on for me and your wisdom is strong just like your sense of commitment to your Mum I know why you stay, I done the same at home until my old man and my addiction totally fuc#ed my head.
Look after you and if that means leaving then so be it because you will be breaking a cycle your Mum can't and if you get a place then you can say who comes and goes and it may be a safe place for your Mum now and then.
Animals sense what is going on for the people they love and the nervous tension your Freddie is experiencing is what he is feeling around him in the house.
Leave your family to each other and give your Mum an option of somewhere to go now and then for sanity
Hey Izzy we all have addiction in common and we all know each others pain so always post and never feel that you have nothing to say because you have a lifetime of experience to tell and share :)
Light and love Zac
What is going on for you is just as important as what is going on for me and your wisdom is strong just like your sense of commitment to your Mum I know why you stay, I done the same at home until my old man and my addiction totally fuc#ed my head.
Look after you and if that means leaving then so be it because you will be breaking a cycle your Mum can't and if you get a place then you can say who comes and goes and it may be a safe place for your Mum now and then.
Animals sense what is going on for the people they love and the nervous tension your Freddie is experiencing is what he is feeling around him in the house.
Leave your family to each other and give your Mum an option of somewhere to go now and then for sanity
Hey Izzy we all have addiction in common and we all know each others pain so always post and never feel that you have nothing to say because you have a lifetime of experience to tell and share :)
Light and love Zac
Thanks all... your suggestions have helped a lot...
I'm feeling better about everything at the moment... My sister has a citation for court because of all the debt she's in... mum feels sorry for her but it's the consequence she's badly needing.
My dad has had it with her... he found a bank statement belonging to her for the last 3 months and he found she'd been getting money when she said she hadn't... she'd been taking advantage of my dad asking for money saying she was broke but she's been found out... she's had over 1600 in wages and hasn't paid any board or put anything towards the utility bills. I can't even think where all that money has gone... she has nothing to show for it except a trail of debt...
I keep telling them she's a liar and is taking advantage... I think now they know...
I don't know what's going to happen as my dad wants her to leave because she's not going to pay the rent or council tax even though she has to because she's in full time employment...
I went to see the alcohol counsellor today with my mood and drink diary... she was the only person who has been sympathetic about my situation in this whole mess... how much it gets me down and the fact I drink more when I'm really stressed out. So we're going to work on other ways I can cope and other techniques. She's been good and has squeezed me in again before Christmas which was good of her because she understands that I get stressed out if it's too long between appointments.
She was pleased with my diary because she saw patterns in it that I didn't realise so that was good to have another eye looking over it and a different opinion...
Anyway thanks for listening...
Izzy XX
UPDATE: Tonight they had it out with her and the upshot of it is that they are going to take her wages from her and give her an allowance so she can't spend it all on crap and not pay the rent. They want payslips and bank statements from her to make sure she's not being dishonest... she needs to learn to budget so she's going to have to be forced to face up to it.
I still have that bottle of whisky but it doesn't look too appealing anymore...
Thanks X
I'm feeling better about everything at the moment... My sister has a citation for court because of all the debt she's in... mum feels sorry for her but it's the consequence she's badly needing.
My dad has had it with her... he found a bank statement belonging to her for the last 3 months and he found she'd been getting money when she said she hadn't... she'd been taking advantage of my dad asking for money saying she was broke but she's been found out... she's had over 1600 in wages and hasn't paid any board or put anything towards the utility bills. I can't even think where all that money has gone... she has nothing to show for it except a trail of debt...
I keep telling them she's a liar and is taking advantage... I think now they know...
I don't know what's going to happen as my dad wants her to leave because she's not going to pay the rent or council tax even though she has to because she's in full time employment...
I went to see the alcohol counsellor today with my mood and drink diary... she was the only person who has been sympathetic about my situation in this whole mess... how much it gets me down and the fact I drink more when I'm really stressed out. So we're going to work on other ways I can cope and other techniques. She's been good and has squeezed me in again before Christmas which was good of her because she understands that I get stressed out if it's too long between appointments.
She was pleased with my diary because she saw patterns in it that I didn't realise so that was good to have another eye looking over it and a different opinion...
Anyway thanks for listening...
Izzy XX
UPDATE: Tonight they had it out with her and the upshot of it is that they are going to take her wages from her and give her an allowance so she can't spend it all on crap and not pay the rent. They want payslips and bank statements from her to make sure she's not being dishonest... she needs to learn to budget so she's going to have to be forced to face up to it.
I still have that bottle of whisky but it doesn't look too appealing anymore...
Thanks X
Hey Izzy
glad to hear you are seeing the counsellor and making some progress there, that's real good news.
glad to hear you are seeing the counsellor and making some progress there, that's real good news.
Hey Izzy
Great news and I'm pleased the alcohol counsellor is going well, you really are doing well with all the comotion that is happening at times and in the end your parents have found out what you have been telling them all along as you said.
Light and love Zac
Great news and I'm pleased the alcohol counsellor is going well, you really are doing well with all the comotion that is happening at times and in the end your parents have found out what you have been telling them all along as you said.
Light and love Zac
Hey Zac... thanks... I'm feeling mroe positive about things but am having a really down time again... it just comes over me for no reason and it frustrates the hell out of me because it's just annoying.
I wanna be able to be spontaneous with my friends which I can't be because I can't make plans as I have to see how i feel on the day... so it's hard.
Anyway... thanks again everyone for being supportive. I appreciate it.
Izzy X
I wanna be able to be spontaneous with my friends which I can't be because I can't make plans as I have to see how i feel on the day... so it's hard.
Anyway... thanks again everyone for being supportive. I appreciate it.
Izzy X
