Hi
I am a new user. My son is 19 years old and has been drinking and using a variety of drugs since he was 12 years old. He has been in custody twice for offences non related to drugs but my guess is that he was under the influence when these occured.
At times he is a wonderful young man and he charms me a lot. He is a high school drop out and does not seem to be able to hold a job for more than 2 or 3 months. My son refuses to get help and claims there's nothing wrong. My husband and I disagree on what to do.
Although I am doubting myself I strongly believe that with love and example he will come out of this and do something with his life. We live like prisoners in our own home because you never know when he will take the car without permission, take beer and liquor and sometimes hock some of our stuff for money. My husband just wants to throw him out of the house. We have done this a few times but I have allowed him to come back. He's good for a short while and it starts all over. I can't bear the thought of him being on the street with no place to go. I want to keep giving him chances so that he can do something with himself. I feel that you never know when it will finely kick in.
This is causing conflict between all the members of this family.
Do you think that we should hang in there and hope that love is enough to reach
him or should I follow everybody's advise and that is to throw him out of the house.
I am desperate and don't know what to do.
You have to first get on the same page with your husband! You need to be on the same team. Your son will only use that to further get away with drugs.
Next you have to practice tuff love.Getting them out of trouble and helping them out only enables them more! If you get tuff it will only prove you love him that much more!!!! If you dont it will only continue and in the years to come you will still be dealing with this. Do what has to be done to stop it now!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next you have to practice tuff love.Getting them out of trouble and helping them out only enables them more! If you get tuff it will only prove you love him that much more!!!! If you dont it will only continue and in the years to come you will still be dealing with this. Do what has to be done to stop it now!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi. I suggest that you get to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon as soon as you possibly can. My son's addiction got started in middle school. He is now in his early twenties. Not knowing the truth about his addictions turned my life upside down for several years. I played cop, nurse, counselor, detective, bouncer, priest, magician, victim, and generally begged and screamed my way through year after year of extremely unhealthy behavior. It would have been better all the way around if I realized the extent of his addictions years earlier. Go to Al-Anon, talk with other parents, and consider doing a family intervention. Get him into treatment. If you can, get him to start going to meetings. Good luck.
Thanks I have been thinking about Al-Anon, I will do that.