My Father just reached his one year mark for sobriety. He was addicted to Soma, Vicadin and some other pain pills. The addiction started because of a very bad back. Well, yesterday was his year anniversary and today he went in for a spinal fusion to solve the back problem that has plagued him for so long.
My question and fear is this: With a spinal fusion I assume that there is a need for serious pain managment. How can he start using again without relapsing back into his old ways? Yes, his doctor knows, but his doctor knew last time and he just used other doctors and ordered from internet pharmacies. Yes, my mom knows, but she can not observe him every day once he goes back to work. Yes the staff at his office knows, but again, they are his staff, they didn't stop him before until he was passing out in the office...obviously it cant get to that again.
He went away for a month to Sierra Tucson and came back and has been sober since...but this was my fear when he came back. I trust that he didnt use to this point, he has been using acupuncture and holistic healing...but what now? This is a long recovery...and i am petrified that my family cant survive another relapse. Has anyone gone through this? Does anyone have some advice. I am 23 years old and I live 1500 miles away from him...i should be focusing on law school but this is what i think about because i am scared of losing him to the pills again. Please, any advice...help would be wonderful.
Hi Matthew...
You sound like such a loving son...Congrats to your dad on one year!!
Have you ever attended Alanon? That's a support group for family members and friends of alcoholics/addicts...Hopefully, your dad has a strong recovery program and has his safety nets put into place to deal with the medication after surgery...
There's a site on this board titled Families/Friends that would also be a great place to post and get some feedback from other family members on how they deal with loving an addict....
Take care,
Stacey
You sound like such a loving son...Congrats to your dad on one year!!
Have you ever attended Alanon? That's a support group for family members and friends of alcoholics/addicts...Hopefully, your dad has a strong recovery program and has his safety nets put into place to deal with the medication after surgery...
There's a site on this board titled Families/Friends that would also be a great place to post and get some feedback from other family members on how they deal with loving an addict....
Take care,
Stacey
Welcome MatthewK02,
There is nothing you can do. There is nothing your Mom can do. Continue to love and support your Dad, that's all you can do.
I had a cervical fusion surgery and yes there is a lot of pain afterwards. Revovery does take time. He will need pain pills. For a short time!
I continued to "milk" the situation even when the pain was tolerable. I got my self seriously addicted. Stopping wasn't easy.
Your Dad knows what he is getting himself into. He has to decide if he wants to live pill free or if he wants to be addicted for the rest of his life. You can't make the decision for him. After all he has been through he has probably chosen to never be addicted again. Time will tell.
He will probably need help getting off the pain medication after his surgery. We addicts can't stop like "normal" people. He needs an Addiction Specialist to help him with his pain relief and to assist him to stop the pills altogether. My Addiction Specialists has helped me more than words can say.
Concentrate on you. You are not being selfish. Be there for your Mom and Dad. Always tell them how much you love them. Your love means more to your Dad than anything else in this world. Your love will give him strength. I am saying this as an pain pill addict addict.
Keep posting, talking about it really helps.
Catherine
ps: Your Dad has 1 year without pills. He has learned how wonderful life is now. I'm sure he doesn't want to go back to where he was 1 year ago.
There is nothing you can do. There is nothing your Mom can do. Continue to love and support your Dad, that's all you can do.
I had a cervical fusion surgery and yes there is a lot of pain afterwards. Revovery does take time. He will need pain pills. For a short time!
I continued to "milk" the situation even when the pain was tolerable. I got my self seriously addicted. Stopping wasn't easy.
Your Dad knows what he is getting himself into. He has to decide if he wants to live pill free or if he wants to be addicted for the rest of his life. You can't make the decision for him. After all he has been through he has probably chosen to never be addicted again. Time will tell.
He will probably need help getting off the pain medication after his surgery. We addicts can't stop like "normal" people. He needs an Addiction Specialist to help him with his pain relief and to assist him to stop the pills altogether. My Addiction Specialists has helped me more than words can say.
Concentrate on you. You are not being selfish. Be there for your Mom and Dad. Always tell them how much you love them. Your love means more to your Dad than anything else in this world. Your love will give him strength. I am saying this as an pain pill addict addict.
Keep posting, talking about it really helps.
Catherine
ps: Your Dad has 1 year without pills. He has learned how wonderful life is now. I'm sure he doesn't want to go back to where he was 1 year ago.
Congrats to your Dad and I'm in awe of such a loving son. But Catherine is right, you can't do anything but love him and support him. It's up to him. If he keeps his safety nets and accountablitiy in place, he can use as prescribed. Problem is, with medical issues such as his, having to use for a long time is going to be tough on him. Does he attend NA or AA? He shoudl be working closely with his sponsor and drs to get through this. Hopefully they can find something other than pain meds to ease his pain.
