I would like to say a great big thank to everyone who has gave me advice and even those who didnt but posted thier own messages, thoughts and questions. You have all helped me so much to understand what my partner is doing and how to help him through it and gave me a strength I didnt realise I had. I have lost almost 3 stone in 3 month because of the stress which I have realised I was causing myself because I didnt understand what my partner was going through or why he could do this to me but its all you guys and gals that have helped me to get myself better and concentrate on myself but still be there for him? I have only one more question? I can feel myself drifting away from him and moving on with my life and I am coming to a point where I dont care what he is doing any more. I am doing my own thing whereas before I would be too concerned what he was up to, to even care what I was doing. Was it something I had done wrong? Did he not love me anymore? Was his daughter not enough to live for? All these questions have been wizzing though my head. I started reading posts on this site and started to understand more about heroin and addicts and I seem to have come to terms with this a little more but I have come to the point where I am just dong my own thing, enjoying life again and not stressing out. I am even getting sleep again. I feel mad because he chose to take heroin and I never asked for any of this and I think I hate him for that! Am I selfish? Should I talk to him and let him know how I feel or should I keep it to myself because he is very paranoid at the moment and very scared that he is going to loose me. He says I am all he has to live for and without me he just couldnt go on. I find it hard to hug or kiss him at the moment too! He has been lying to me again and using but telling me he was uing meth. At one stage I would be furious but now I dont care. Its his life. Do you think I have moved on completely or do you think the feelings will come rushing back once he starts to help himself and get proffessional help? I do know that I do still love him at the bottom of my heart and probably always will but I am so confused to how I am feeling and how I am so strong through everything life throws at me now! One thing which I have leant is "sh*t happens" so come to terms with it and move on. xx
Hi bunny rocker, well done on finally starting to get on with life and stopping letting his addiction rule over you too. You asked whether you should tell him that you are feeling more distant from him, even though he says that you are all he has to live for. Well in this life you pay your money and take your choice, and I think you can say fairly comprehensively that he has made his choice and it wasn't you. Addicts will say anything to keep you where they want you, and you can't put your life on hold waiting for him to sort his crappola out.
I think you've earned your wings sweetheart, so go out and fly...
love
diff x
I think you've earned your wings sweetheart, so go out and fly...
love
diff x
Hey Bunny Rocker....glad you feel a little better......I'mmma agree with Diff.
You are not the cause of him using nor are you going to be the reason he quits.......it just don't work that way......somewhere in there I am sure he means what he says about losing ya, but that dope just over rules everything.
Sounds like you're at that place of "indifference" like not caring.....ain't that the worse? You've been through the ringer.....so it's no wonder.....about telling him how ya feel and his paranoia......YOU do what you feel YOU should do....don't operate on his time, behavior or emotions.....ya got your own.....just like Diff says ya earned your wings.......you get on with your bad self.
You are not the cause of him using nor are you going to be the reason he quits.......it just don't work that way......somewhere in there I am sure he means what he says about losing ya, but that dope just over rules everything.
Sounds like you're at that place of "indifference" like not caring.....ain't that the worse? You've been through the ringer.....so it's no wonder.....about telling him how ya feel and his paranoia......YOU do what you feel YOU should do....don't operate on his time, behavior or emotions.....ya got your own.....just like Diff says ya earned your wings.......you get on with your bad self.
Thanks 2 you both for your advice. Your right in what you both say and I have realised that now. I put my life on hold and didnt care about myself as long as I helped him but realised that I was wasting my time and making myself ill. I am concentrating on myself now and my lovely daughter. We didnt ask for any of this so we are not going to be a part of it or suffer anymore.
I also agree that heroin addicts tell you what you want to hear. I have sat and worked out everytime he has told me something which I thought wasnt quite right and now that the truth is out I have put 2 and 2 together and realised that he was doing exactly that. He has made his choice and he can do what he wants but he has to realise that I am going to do what I want from now on. I truly have moved on and I really dont think there is a future for us anymore. He has his "new friends" now and his new "hobby" and I have waited around for long enough for him to do something about it and I warned him it would come to this. I am sad because deep down I do wish that I still felt the way did before but you cant choose how your gonna feel about something and I think I am now doing the right thing.
He knows what he is doing to himself and I understand he cant control what is happening but I think deep down if he was strong enough and wanted us in his life as he said he does then he would seek help and fight this. Well its too late now and I am done with all this. I will always be there for him but still get on with my own life.
He says I dont have time for people "like this" when infact I do, I truly symapthise but I think if you got a choice and you dont want to be a part of it then move on. He has made his bed now and he can lie in it cos I have wasted enough of my life and I can never get those months back I can just make things better for the future.
Thanks again. You are all so great and made me find my inner strength which I didnt think I had.
BunnyRocker x
I also agree that heroin addicts tell you what you want to hear. I have sat and worked out everytime he has told me something which I thought wasnt quite right and now that the truth is out I have put 2 and 2 together and realised that he was doing exactly that. He has made his choice and he can do what he wants but he has to realise that I am going to do what I want from now on. I truly have moved on and I really dont think there is a future for us anymore. He has his "new friends" now and his new "hobby" and I have waited around for long enough for him to do something about it and I warned him it would come to this. I am sad because deep down I do wish that I still felt the way did before but you cant choose how your gonna feel about something and I think I am now doing the right thing.
He knows what he is doing to himself and I understand he cant control what is happening but I think deep down if he was strong enough and wanted us in his life as he said he does then he would seek help and fight this. Well its too late now and I am done with all this. I will always be there for him but still get on with my own life.
He says I dont have time for people "like this" when infact I do, I truly symapthise but I think if you got a choice and you dont want to be a part of it then move on. He has made his bed now and he can lie in it cos I have wasted enough of my life and I can never get those months back I can just make things better for the future.
Thanks again. You are all so great and made me find my inner strength which I didnt think I had.
BunnyRocker x
BR, all is not lost. Hopefully he does kick and stay clean. Only he has to prove it for quite some time. He needs to do that all by himself.
You take care of your daughter like you said.
It's very sad, BUT you are strong. I give you tons of credit for that. Hang on there Bunny Rocker.
You take care of your daughter like you said.
It's very sad, BUT you are strong. I give you tons of credit for that. Hang on there Bunny Rocker.
Thanks Bryn,
I have had a chat with him today and I feel a little better. I told him how I feel and that I cant promise I will hang around forever and he understands. He said I have been his rock and to put up with this much and still stick by him means allot. Its more than anyone else has done. I am all he has really apart from obviously his daughter but he will always have a part in her life regardless.
Anyway once again with your helpfull advice I feel allot better and each day I get stronger. I need to be happy for myself and my daughter. I am only 23 so have a long life ahead of me yet so need to keep strong!
Thanks again.
Love BunnyRocker x
I have had a chat with him today and I feel a little better. I told him how I feel and that I cant promise I will hang around forever and he understands. He said I have been his rock and to put up with this much and still stick by him means allot. Its more than anyone else has done. I am all he has really apart from obviously his daughter but he will always have a part in her life regardless.
Anyway once again with your helpfull advice I feel allot better and each day I get stronger. I need to be happy for myself and my daughter. I am only 23 so have a long life ahead of me yet so need to keep strong!
Thanks again.
Love BunnyRocker x
You GO Ms. Bunny Rocker.
Glad ya feel better.
Good keeping the communication going too. Stay strong, Sister girl.
Glad ya feel better.
Good keeping the communication going too. Stay strong, Sister girl.
Well no further forward but no further back. He is still using and tonight for the first time I let him do it infront of me to cure my curiosity. Bad bad bad thats all I can say. I felt physically sick to see it but feel more educated in this drug. It hurts me to the bottom of my soul that he is doing this but truly believe that he is strong enough inside to fight this and get better. I am going to stand by him in his need because the person before will return and that person is special and I know I can love him the way I did before. He has allot more respect for me now and said he has fallen in love with me all over again. Do you think this is the drugs talk or do you think he truly means it? He respects me for giving him so many chances and not giving up but I am a fighter and its what I do.
I am not letting this drag me down anymore as I did before and I am getting my life back on track and back to as normal as I possibly can until he comes clean. I now know this is his battle and not mine but with my support and extra strength he will do this once and for all.
He can do this and so can I. With all the help from you lot I have got back to being my normal self again and almose back to good health. I truly appreciate each and every person who uses this website because we can all help each other fight through this and help to clear our minds of the bad poison. Dont let too much hope let you down when things dont go right but keep positive and positive things will happen. Everybody be strong because with strength you can fight anything. Life is a very important thing so treat it with love and respect and life will love you back and see you through!
Love BunnyRocker xxxxxxxxx
DONT LET THE DEVIL DESTROY YOUR LIFE!
I am not letting this drag me down anymore as I did before and I am getting my life back on track and back to as normal as I possibly can until he comes clean. I now know this is his battle and not mine but with my support and extra strength he will do this once and for all.
He can do this and so can I. With all the help from you lot I have got back to being my normal self again and almose back to good health. I truly appreciate each and every person who uses this website because we can all help each other fight through this and help to clear our minds of the bad poison. Dont let too much hope let you down when things dont go right but keep positive and positive things will happen. Everybody be strong because with strength you can fight anything. Life is a very important thing so treat it with love and respect and life will love you back and see you through!
Love BunnyRocker xxxxxxxxx
DONT LET THE DEVIL DESTROY YOUR LIFE!
