The Beganning

My name is lesley, i'm 22 years old. I have two beautiful kids, and i am an addict. I love to do oxy's or roxy's or anything like a pain pill or nerve pill, i have been doing drugs since i had my son three years ago. As soon as i had the first script of perc's when i had my son is where it all began and turned into my worst nightmare. It has opened my eyes to a mean cruel world that i never knew exsisted...It will be a week tomorrow and i am excited, but yet still depressed and just want a pill to fix it for now...I've went threw the cold chills sweaty hands shaking throwing up restless nights and it's just about over with. the urges are the hardest thing for me because i'm sorrounded by addicts all in my family, but i've got to be strong and fight it..one day at a time!!!!
Hi Lesley - Welcome to the Board! Congratulations on getting clean and on admitting your problem. We all loved to do pain pills here at one time too. That changed for all of us. You will notice that alot of us here are in our 40's and 50's. One thing I'm sure we can all agree on is that we wish we would have stopped in our 20's. We thought we were only damaging ourselves but in reality the whole family suffers. We've lost friends, jobs, and much much more. I hope and pray that you spare yourself the suffering and stay clean.

Are you getting any outside support?

Please keep coming back and let us know how you are doing. You are still at a most difficult phase. It does get better!!
Glad you're here Leslie. A week is great! And you're right, you're over the worst of it. Just remember that if you use again, you'll start all over again and it's just not worth it. Every withdrawal will get worse than the last. You're young, you've got that going for you. You don't have years of abuse to contend with. I hope that you're able to get some face to face support. NA and AA is free and I'm sure that there are meetings available in your area. Whatever you decide to do, just know that you and those kids are worth it. I hope we see more of you.
Makiah,stay strong,your about at the same stage my 18 year old son is at.i hope you both can do this.I believe life will be so much easier for you once you are sober.At the very least finacially it should be way better,as in my sons case he owes thousands of dollars to various places including me because of his addiction.Its so very sad for me as his Mom to see what a rough start to becoming an adult and being responsible for himself,he is so far in debt it will take many years to get out of it.Right now I am struggling to find a rehab center for my son in the hopes that will help him get to a point where the cravings arent as severe and he can manage on his own.
Best of luck to you
brokenheartedmom