The Cutter

Hello everyone . Just a line to let you all know I am still here . It has been a hard few days . It was good to hear from the person on here who also cut when she was younger . That helped . I have been pill free for going on 5 days now . For me that is a big deal .No cutting since I talked to you all last . I understand why you all seem to push going to see a dr and going to meeting but it is just that my husband has a big rep in this town . A good rep . So for someone to see his wife at some na meeting would be so bad ! He would rather leave me then have that happen . This just might be the lowest point of my life . I wonder if it will stay this way forever ?
Shyanna
Dear Shy,

That must be SO depressing. How about finding a meeting in the next town to yours? Wouldn't it be worth the drive and how much are the odds of someone you knew being there? If you cut, you really need to see a pschologist (at least) to delve into the whys and wherefores to get to the bottom of it.

Does your hubsband know you cut? If he does, would he prefer that you die instead of saving his rep? How loving is that? Why would you stay with him if those are his priorities? Glad you are back. Yes, I was very worried about you and prayed for you during the period. If you don't want to see a psychologist, you might try to write down what you are feeling to cause you to cut and try to figure it out for yourself. Journaling is a big help in every situation. I always said it was a cheap psychiatrist. Best wiishes. Glad you're back.
Hi Shyanna
It will get better. Can I ask how old you are? I cant remember your last posts, sorry for that. I cut myself a couple times also. I did because i was feeling guilty for physically hurting a good friend of mine and not remembering doing it, and I was looking for attention and wanted help because I was wasted all of the time and my "true self" didnt want to live like that anymore. I remember after some people knew what i did, I was really embarassed and never did it again.
You can change. You can change right this second. any day with no pills is amazing. Do you have any friends or family you can confide in? where there is a will there is a way. If you are determined to get clean and sober and stop cutting you can do it. Keep posting and reaching out for help. Good luck to you
How about seeing a counselor, that would be private and no one would have to know.
A nig thaks for all the replys . And I will do my best to remember to adrdess it all . I am 24 years old , I do not have much familey here to help me because I am not from this place . To me a "bifferent wordl" . Anyway , I am from Nashua N.H. . Very big city . Lived with my dad there . Loved it !! Moved here in 2000 with my husban . His home town ! But he travles alott ! Thats how I met him on the East Coast . bla bla bla We have a daughter now she just turned 5 . Oh by the way "here" is In the sticks .Upper Mich , Escanaba . It is nice but still not my home .
Ok so how would someone who does not work and gets all her money from her hus no med in go to and pay for a $150 dr bill ? See I wne t once and they wnted my husband and my Tax refund or pay stub for proof of income . My hubby would never ever pay for that !! If you guys can think of a way around that ??? That would be so cool. I cant . I know you will say if he is that bad leave him ! I would but I know hw could get our child !! I know with being who he is he would win hand down ! He would just find one of the many people who have see me pop something or anouther . I cant EVER lost my baby !!
Anyway I think I got all the ? you asked and thats so much just talking with me . I do fell a bit beter now
Shy
WOW sorry about that last note . my hands are so shaky lol I cant type whorth crap right now
Shy
have you tried calling any addiction hotlines? that could be of some help and they might have some good suggestions for you. dont give up trying. you will find a way.
I might give that a try ,
Thanks Frie
Whats a cutter?
Glad,

A cutter is one who cuts herself (usually with razor).....wrists, arms, thighs etc. Many wind up in the hospital (or dead) if they aren't helped.