The Dealer Called.......

Good Morning Chad,

Thanks again for the pics. I'm trying to get my daughter to "scan" some pics. I'm no good at computer stuff - I'm lucky I can type on here or even email LOL

BTW- My best friend went to Australia and NZ on her honeymoon. She had plenty of videos- Its absolutely gorgeous - you are SO lucky. She bungie jumped off that bridge in New Zealand where supposedly the first guy ever bungie jumped off of - do you know where I'm reffering to?

Love,
Marie
I understand my husband's side - he thinks if I surround myself with users and ex-users, then drugs will be all I think about. That I will start justifying my behavior...

But my side of it is that this is how I AM... This is ME. I can't just pretend it's not a part of my life. I'm sick of having this mental tug-of-war in my head and not being able to talk about it. I"m tired of hanging around my so called "Friends" and not having them understand why I don't want to take ecstasy or I don't want to drink that night or I don't want to do coke (for the record: I don't mix pills, don't do coke, and don't drink while taking Norco or Lortab)....

Maybe one day I'll feel different, but I am enjoying being around people who are like me.
Danielle -

When I lived in Miami I discovered "ecstacy" - I was always afraid to do it - and wish I stayed afraid, cause once I did it - I ALWAYS wanted to do it. That was before my pill days and that became my DOC for awhile. God I loved that stuff. Glad I quit cause they say thats REALLY bad for people who suffer from depression, something to do with the serotonin levels, etc - I dont know. I wonder if that has anything to do with my major depression now?

Love,
Marie
Morning Everyone,
I see that this post took off alittle while I was dreaming.....Honesty is so important in recovery, but hey lying to the dealer man might save your life....lol
The hubby has been aroud the block, many many times, and knows how the so called bad guys think and the paranoia that they have. He didn't have time to read this thread yesterday.....sure he will tonight, early to bed for him, had a 4am wake up!
Hope you are all well this morning.....and waking to a beautiful day......
Tina

Susan.......that is so true!
morning tina
well how are you this morning i sent ya an e-mail don't know if ya got it yet, but i think our man is going to be o.k. like someone said at least he confided in you and that in itself was a big thing. and you guys are right it would just be a waste of money, not like it is not anyway, but with the sub he won't even feel it and it may even make him feel really bad i don't know about sub so i don't know if you use, would it put you into direct w/d's. tell him if he does this Ga boy will hitchhike if he has to and come up and try to kick his a**. he might whip me but it won't be pretty, no i'm just kidding i never liked violence always tried to avoid it but sometimes it just had to happen. now my older sister she was a mean mutha. she passed away in 1996 of scirocis of the liver, yea but worse they buried her on my birthday but i am o,k, cause she accepted the lord as savior before she went so i am at peace. again not preaching. i have to be careful because i don't want to try to push my jesus on anyone. but i will share him if anyone asks. i'll have to tell ya sometimes about all my things i went through and how he saved me out of so many things. by rights i should be dead 5 times over. well gotta go
love ya dago
johnny
Hey Tina! Howa re you this morning? Tell your husband I am SO proud of him! That is SOOOOO hard when the dealer calls you! All you need to say is OK...and saying no takes a lot of strength! Good for him! I never told my husband the last time my dealers called because then he would just get suspicious. It's sad but true. He prefers to act like I never had a problem. If I bring it up he starts to think that I am trying to score or something. He doesn't understand that I will always have this problem. Anyway, that is why I read this sight a lot, just to know that I am not alone. I kow, I know, I know, I should try to find a meeting, and I have a thousand reasons why I "can't", but I just can't bring myself to do it, yet. My grandmother lives with me and she doesn't know about this problem, it would be very hard to explain why I need her to watch the kids at night all the time. (ONE excuse!) Anyway, I am clean, now and I have every intention on staying that way. I have yet another life to think about, so that's where my focus is. I thik that you and your husband are going to beat this thing together and he is so lucky to have you as a support system. Love, Jess
Hi Jess,
He will see what you posted tonight when he gets home. So how are you "mommy". Are you taking care of yourself and doing all the other good things should be? Hope all is well, just jumped on for a few. taking a break.....it is nap time here....lol Lots to do so little time. I am sure everyone is feeling the Christmas crunch....
You take care.....
Tina
We replaced the cell phone. maybe that is a thought
Hi MarieO,
Im glad that you didnt mind getting the pics and yes that grandaughter is very pretty and Im telling you,shes quite bright too lol.When your daughter gets that scanner sorted out,Id love to get a few pics from you 4 sure.
God that son of mine is driving me up the blasted wall,he moved here recently and its just been one hassle after the other since,at least these times when he does something wrong,I dont go looking for a fix.
Ive never known anyone from your side of the world who has visited NZ or Aussie,that hasnt enjoyed visiting here,that bridge for the bungee jumping you are talking about is down near Queenstown here in NZ,Queenstown is like a great big outdoor playground,skiing,jetboating and bungee jumping are just a few of the outdoor pursuits down there,that bridge is famous for bungee jumping,apparently the scenery around it is breathtaking.
Marie, send pictures to me, too, if you ever get that all figured out...

danni80419@aol.com
Chad, my little brother went to amsterdam to meet girls....and boy did he!!!LOL
I am dying to see both aus. and NZ....I have never met an aussie that i didn't like....
Kerry