The Joy Of Not Using

After being clean nearly 2 years, I just wanted to share some of the positive benefits. Please feel free to add to this list.

1. My wife is in love with me again. Although she swears she always was, I can tell she actually means it.

2. I'm actually happy again. When I was using, I could never say that.

3. I actually have a reason to get up. Before, it was only to take a pill. Now it's because I have something to do and it's to not take a pill.

4. I can spend time with people that love me and I know in my heart, I love them. Before, I didn't know if I loved anything more than the pills, now I know.

5. I can hug my grandbaby and get hugged back. She loves her grandpa unconditionally. It don't get no better than that.

I hope everyone is doing well.
Hawk
Very inspiring :)
Hawk,

I feel the same way. Its really great to wake up and know the day will be OK and I don't have to go chase anything.

Wendy
Hawk it is so inspiring to hear your words. I am at day 21 and sometimes I feel like I won't ever look forward to something the way I did to taking those pills. I have my good moments and bad but I am not even close to being out of the woods so thanks for letting me see that there may be some light at the end of the tunnel
Roxy
I remember what I did the night before.

I have my self esteem back, and like you, can smile again.

Nice to see you post, Hawk.
Hey Hawk:

That's great to hear. At this point I only feel happy when I get my pills, but not even really then because I immediately promis I'll make them last (I can't) so then I'm stressing about the next time I get them, and that time will be different (it won't). I look forward to getting up in the morning and take my 2,3,4 pills with my breakfast to get my day started. Of course the good feeling lasts only a few minutes - and then I'm craving, but I promised myself, well maybe just for today I'll just take what I want, and the rest of the time - I'll take them moderately - and the merry go round goes on, and on.I've gone thru 140 10mg lortabs in 3-4 days. It's supposed to last a month. Don't people die with those levels? My tolerence level is so that high after my last surgery, they had difficulty getting my pain under control without using deadly doses. So You're saying that there's a real, sane, happy life out there without the constant dwelling on pills? What did you do? Did you detox or cold turkey? Is there a program? Can I ask what your DOC is? Was there an incident, or a moment of clarity that made you so able to embrace sobriety? Does the mind realize and then the body follows? If you know what I mean - I ve heard people say ;fake it till ya make it'. So is that like taking the physical steps and then eventually the mind catches up? My world has become so narrow and focused on my addiction - I would need to relace all those thoughts and energy with something else, right? I'm sorry for firing all these questions at you - but I liked what you had to say. So its possible to have a real actual life, with the simple, true joys? I don't know about me though, sometimes I feel I'm doomed. I guess I'v rambled enough here at 4:30 in the morning. See, even my sleeping schedule is off. Thanks for listening.
Hi Hawk,

Nice thread.


I can write coherently again.

I retain what I read.



Good morning everyone!

Love,
Gina
I have my kids and I am truley with them.

I have goals, dreams, and plans (none drug related)

I am happy and I care what I am about.

I care about others. (something I did not do when using)

Love,
Jane
i feel clear, i look clear..............

my thinking is clear...............user posted image

now its time to clearly get my body in good physical condition........

i feel that when your talking pills/drugs, you let your body go because you have a false sense of well being..........

and it feels good to "feel" the need/desire to maintain good physical health and take care of my body............





Nice post Hawk...thank you

I now have real happiness in my life

I too have a mucher deeper love and marriage with my husband

I am living life today not merely existing

I have found a HP, whom I call God so I no longer have to control the universe and with that comes a freedom that is undescribable

I have found some really great caring friends and in turn, I can be a great friend back

I am a better mother & wife today

I see miracles happening everyday and I enjoy them

Have a wonderful day!