Hey everyone I am on day 6 of being clean from the pills. The physical is starting to get better. I just dont know how to handle the mental. All I think about is wanting to take a pill and feel happy again. I am depressed and still very unmotivated to do anything. This is as far as I got last time I quit and I caved in on the 6th day. I am trying so hard to battle this but the mental is really starting to get to me. It wasnt as bad at first because I was so miserable from the physical. I have pills for the depression but do those pills really do anything. I have been on meds for depression before and I never really saw any results. Anyone with any tips it would be helpful.
Fiona
Hi Fiona,Im sorry you are feeling the mental cravings.To me they ARE the hardest to deal with.I dont want to make you more depressed I dont but as an addict those mental craving will be a life long thing (I feel)Like I can be fine for mths at a time than BAM Ill get such bad cravings.
Are you into therapy or do you plan on it?I ask because that or NA is the place where we can learn how to handle those cravings.
I think you posting & being honest is a great step.ASK for help dont ever feel ashamed,because all of us have been & still are where your at.Keep posting about how you feel & it may help.All the love & luck to you....mj
Are you into therapy or do you plan on it?I ask because that or NA is the place where we can learn how to handle those cravings.
I think you posting & being honest is a great step.ASK for help dont ever feel ashamed,because all of us have been & still are where your at.Keep posting about how you feel & it may help.All the love & luck to you....mj
MJ,
No I am not going to therapy, its hard with my work schedule. I want to go back to college, after all from being in the marines and haveing a disability I can for absolutley nothing. Its just where I work now they wont work around a school schedule. So I would have to find a new job. That was a plan I had in mind today was to go out and look at some new jobs. It sucks because I like my job now I just wish they were flexible. I know if I had school to worry about this whole thing would be easier. Today is going to be a long day I dont have to work and my boyfriend works to 11pm at night so I wont have him around to help me, even though he is still on the pills and last night I think I did something stupide. My doctor had prescribed me a few pills of valium and I only took them the first couple of days so I had some left and he wanted a couple so I gave them to him. Then it being Valentines day and all you think we would have had a good day he got real mean he started drinking while he was doing the pills, and he was telling me he hated me and wanted to move back home and then he said he was sorry. He does this all the time. Out of people I thought I could turn to for support I thought it would be him. He says he is going to quit also next week but I dont know if he really will. He really doesnt care about the damage they do to him, well atleast I dont think he cares. I really need help!!
Fiona
No I am not going to therapy, its hard with my work schedule. I want to go back to college, after all from being in the marines and haveing a disability I can for absolutley nothing. Its just where I work now they wont work around a school schedule. So I would have to find a new job. That was a plan I had in mind today was to go out and look at some new jobs. It sucks because I like my job now I just wish they were flexible. I know if I had school to worry about this whole thing would be easier. Today is going to be a long day I dont have to work and my boyfriend works to 11pm at night so I wont have him around to help me, even though he is still on the pills and last night I think I did something stupide. My doctor had prescribed me a few pills of valium and I only took them the first couple of days so I had some left and he wanted a couple so I gave them to him. Then it being Valentines day and all you think we would have had a good day he got real mean he started drinking while he was doing the pills, and he was telling me he hated me and wanted to move back home and then he said he was sorry. He does this all the time. Out of people I thought I could turn to for support I thought it would be him. He says he is going to quit also next week but I dont know if he really will. He really doesnt care about the damage they do to him, well atleast I dont think he cares. I really need help!!
Fiona
Oh sweety Im so sorry.Drinking & mixing those drugs can be deadly hun so just know that.Also huny you can only take care of YOU when he comes to addiction.I understand you wanting to help him but right now YOU need to keep fighting for YOU.
i feel bad that your BF has his own issues with pills that MUST make it harder on you.Im also sad to hear he does this all the time.That seems like a pattern & it can be so unhealthy for you right now.
Just know sweety your not alone.Keep posting your heart out if Im not here someone will be & there are ALOT of great people here who care...mj
i feel bad that your BF has his own issues with pills that MUST make it harder on you.Im also sad to hear he does this all the time.That seems like a pattern & it can be so unhealthy for you right now.
Just know sweety your not alone.Keep posting your heart out if Im not here someone will be & there are ALOT of great people here who care...mj
MJ,
I was thinking about going to church and asking God for help. My church is an hour and half away, but I know I could go to another church,and pray. But what will people think if I just walk into there church and just praying for help with an addiction problem. They will think I am evil and full of sin. Maybe I am, but getting better is not a sin right? Im not real religious but I have lost anywhere else to turn. I just want my life to be normal again and not to have fights with my boyfriend we have been together 5 years. I mean its hard two people living in a studio but when you are so poor its hard to afford anything better. I wish pain pills werent addicting and harmful to the body so noone would have to suffer! Some people say themental part of recovery can last for years or your whole life. Is this true?
Fiona
I was thinking about going to church and asking God for help. My church is an hour and half away, but I know I could go to another church,and pray. But what will people think if I just walk into there church and just praying for help with an addiction problem. They will think I am evil and full of sin. Maybe I am, but getting better is not a sin right? Im not real religious but I have lost anywhere else to turn. I just want my life to be normal again and not to have fights with my boyfriend we have been together 5 years. I mean its hard two people living in a studio but when you are so poor its hard to afford anything better. I wish pain pills werent addicting and harmful to the body so noone would have to suffer! Some people say themental part of recovery can last for years or your whole life. Is this true?
Fiona
OH Sweetheart your not a sinner or evil or ANYTHING like that.Goodness huny your an addict its a sickness & YOU are taking the steps to get better.Forgive yourself huny.We all did things we wish we didnt,You learn from mistakes & try not to repeat them thats all you can do.
Ill tell you I dont know if you knew this but my oldest girl(17)ran away last Thursday(shes home safe now)& for the first time in YEARS I went into a church & prayed that she was OK.If you think that praying will help & talking with God will comfort you huny I say do it.BUT PLEASE YOUR NOT EVIL.addiction is evil but the people who are addicts are victums of it.
You are trying to make yourself & life better.Its OK to give yourself some credit I feel you need to do this,
Please keep posting,dont feel alone in this.Someone here will always try to let you lean on them until you feel stronger...mj
PS I just saw how you reached out to Fisherman THAT can also help.By reaching out & trying to help others here You can also help yourself.I know this to be true,,,,,YOU HANG IN THERE!!!!
Ill tell you I dont know if you knew this but my oldest girl(17)ran away last Thursday(shes home safe now)& for the first time in YEARS I went into a church & prayed that she was OK.If you think that praying will help & talking with God will comfort you huny I say do it.BUT PLEASE YOUR NOT EVIL.addiction is evil but the people who are addicts are victums of it.
You are trying to make yourself & life better.Its OK to give yourself some credit I feel you need to do this,
Please keep posting,dont feel alone in this.Someone here will always try to let you lean on them until you feel stronger...mj
PS I just saw how you reached out to Fisherman THAT can also help.By reaching out & trying to help others here You can also help yourself.I know this to be true,,,,,YOU HANG IN THERE!!!!
MJ,
thank you for your help, I am glad there are people out there like you. Dont ever change. Wish me luck today on my job hunt and cleaning my house I will keep you posted. I hope I can make it through today, tomorrow willbe day 7 One week and then 8 days and so on... Pray I can dothis!!!
Fiona
thank you for your help, I am glad there are people out there like you. Dont ever change. Wish me luck today on my job hunt and cleaning my house I will keep you posted. I hope I can make it through today, tomorrow willbe day 7 One week and then 8 days and so on... Pray I can dothis!!!
Fiona
If I helped in any way Im so glad.I hope I have helped even alittle.I will wish you all the love & luck in the world.And I will say a prayer for you(You dont need to go to church to do that)
I hate doing this but I do need to sign off for a bit,BUT I promise Ill be around later & Ill look for you.You keep trying thats all any of us can do & know you dont need to feel alone.These feelings you are having I think we all do.So you take care & HANG ON one minute at a time if needed.I hope we talk again soon...mj
I hate doing this but I do need to sign off for a bit,BUT I promise Ill be around later & Ill look for you.You keep trying thats all any of us can do & know you dont need to feel alone.These feelings you are having I think we all do.So you take care & HANG ON one minute at a time if needed.I hope we talk again soon...mj
MJ,
Have a good day and I hope to talk to you later.
One good thing the sun is shining today.
Thanks a bunch, Fiona
Have a good day and I hope to talk to you later.
One good thing the sun is shining today.
Thanks a bunch, Fiona