the most horrible thing about this disease is the slip ups.
i didn't end up doing any heroin but my entire family knew that i was trying to, and without even doing the drug i upset my ENTIRE family in the process. all becuase a stupid decision i made and tried to act upon.
respect is hard to earn and it sometimes seems as though, in this lifetime anyways, is not possible.
i even hate my thoughts. just sitting with my eyes closed before i go to sleep at night just picturing over and over the sequence of events i go through to do my drug. imagining a needle sucking up brown fluid grabbing the belt and these such things, over and over and over until i can finally truly count sheep.
time is too slow, i wishi could fast forward to the part of my life when i am not an unwanted weed in a garden but a beautiful flower that the gardener iw ver proud to have rooted in her garden.....
Dear ladydove,
I needed to hear this as a reminder that I have to TRY even harder to trust my son. It is VERY difficult and we don't nag or question to be mean whatsoever. It's just the worst heartache I have ever felt to see my precious child (no matter what age) jeopardizing his life and allowing a horrible drug to control his every action and none of us wants to go back there!
I will keep you in my prayers that you stay strong against temptation and that those temptations lessen for you so that you don't have to fight your addiction so hard.
Love,
Susan
I needed to hear this as a reminder that I have to TRY even harder to trust my son. It is VERY difficult and we don't nag or question to be mean whatsoever. It's just the worst heartache I have ever felt to see my precious child (no matter what age) jeopardizing his life and allowing a horrible drug to control his every action and none of us wants to go back there!
I will keep you in my prayers that you stay strong against temptation and that those temptations lessen for you so that you don't have to fight your addiction so hard.
Love,
Susan
