The Parent's Joy Or Denial Is Not A River

THE JOYS OF YOUTH (and though woman know all, here is one thing they don't)


Tonight is really trully a nice night for me. My wife is working, my 16 year old son is going somewhere with his girlfriend and its me home alone with my animals. As my son was leaving I told him that I'd probably be going out tonight & should be home at arounhd 2. I'm waiting for him to ask where I'm going due to the fact that I can't even remember the last time I've gone out. I mean to me, this is a big time move. He just said :"OK, see ya later" as he walked out the door.

It's funny. At that age he's got so much going on, that me 'going out' is about as relevant to him as me saying I'm thinking of getting a picture of a turtle some day. Oh those great magical days. Sure they weren't always great I guess, but I sure do remember a whole bunch of them in a row that seemed it.

I remember those mystcal summer nights, that neverending time between about 13 and 17 and one way or another, in spite of what I parents might have thought, they had basically lost control. Stuff like getting high was there, but it wan't what it was about. It was just a part of it, almost like a background. (Obviously the older we got, the less background it became, until, ultimately the other good stuff became background and its importance almost faded to nothingness unless u had what you needed. And sure, we all were still friends, and if anyone (including ourselves) had ever asked the hypothetical question that if we had to choose at anytime between hanging out with friends with no dope or spending the evening with people we couldnt stand and getting dope, we all knew what the answer would be.

But I'm getting off track. I JUST HAD TO THROW THAT IN, kinda like a commercial, as this is a recovery hotline, or posting board or whatever. But drugs aside, their was so much excitement, and lust and mystery and life going on back then. In those days we were so full of piss and vinegar - always looking for excitement, and girls, and fights and insanity, that we never considered that we were already high without drugs.

I remember so many times those nights that never ended. Starting as early as seventh grade, I remember many nights (sometimes even in the winter & on school nights) I'd wake up at about 1 in the morning to the sound of little stones hitting my second floor bedroom window. I'd quietly signal them and sneak out into the frigid Buffalo night. As stupid as that might sound, going out in the freezing cold paled in stupidity in comparison to some of the things we would do next.

Here we were, 3, maybe 4 kids in 7th or 8th grade wandering along the empty, frozen, snow filled streets of Buffalo,looking for adventure. I remember wearing BEATLE BOOTS, and feeling so cool. Well, it turned out one of the guys was maybe a year older ause he had failed a grade. He was taller then us, and he knew how to drive. Matter of fact, he was an expert driver (he told us so.)

Many of those night we'd push my friends fathers car quietly out the driveway and just cruising around all night & we'd return it shortly before he would wake up. There were other nights that we didnt use his car for some reason. We'd walk around looking for a car with its doors unlocked and search it for a hidden key. Sometimes we would be really lucky and spot a key in the cars ignition. Looking back, it is really amazing how stupid people were. I can't remember ever not finding a car we could 'borrow. And I think it never took us more than an hour to find one.

Putting aside the fact that most of what we did on those car nights was incredibally stupid and dangerous (I knew what grand theft auto was) but it never seemed to me that that is what we were doing. It was like I felt like we werent really steeling a car - after all, we put it back within a mile or so of where we took it.

Our driver was maybe 13 years old, we were driving around all night, sometimes in bad driving conditions , or on good nites driving down country roads at 90 MPH, and we never got caught or killed. To us it was exciting and fun. But like I said, putting the stupidness aside, we had such a zest for life.

And now, to get back to now. Here I am,, I could go out. My wifes working, I have some pocket cash and even the kinda place I'd enjoy going to.

They have a pocker place in Ocalla, and its only about a half hour drive from here. I figure I could go there, have some fun, and win a few hundred. But then I started thinking of that long, long drive, and how enjoyable it would be to make a nice sandwich, and maybe watch South Park, and take a nice long nap, which reminds me - I'm just
gonna go do that and not bother dealing too much what woman are in denial about.

I'LL JUST SAY IT, CAUSE IT IS SO FUNNY. She really thinks our son is still a virgin becuse (this is great LMAO) he is not that kind of guy.

AT least when my daughters were in their late teens I had the sense to just block the whole idea out of my mind and not think about it.

He's not that kind of a guy. HA HA HA DE HA HA HA. That is delicious.
Browndog, this should be a page in your journal. I know you probably couldn't be bothered keeping one but to reread your thoughts in 10 or 15 years would be a joy. Think of the memories it will bring back, because soon, that's all we're going to have. Peace, Mike.
hiya Dog

I hear you on the denial thing. My exhubby is in denial about my daughter. She's 18...me, I'm realistic. Hard to think of our kids growing up.

Hope you enjoyed your evening. I love my alone time where I can do anything I want, especially around the house. Listen to my music really loud and dancing around the living room. My kids are always telling me to turn it down when they are here...ughhh lol such killjoys!!! :-)

Life is here to enjoy