Well, this morning I wake up to find a whole bunch of craziness on facebook. Apparently my brother and another person have robbed one of my brothers friends. The person my brother was with put a gun to this guys head. Now he's on the hunt for my brother.
I'm scared and so sick of worrying about him. I think before he has a chance or the will to get clean, someones going to get a hold of him. I'm worried about mine and my childrens safety, because my brother recently lived with me. I've had cars sitting outside of my house at two in the morning.
Heroin is horrible. It drags your loved one down into the depths of hell. Then it drags everyone that loves the addict down with it.
Sometimes I hate FB. . . you learn more on FB than anyplace. . .What a way to learn about this horrible horrible situation.
OMG. . .I am so sorry about your brother. Robbery? Guns? And now some guy from the streets is looking for him for retribution? Sweet Jesus. . .YOUR BROTHER has gotten himself in a big mess. I know you are concerned and worried. That's natural and normal. . .he's your blood & you clearly love him. You should be proud of yourself that you haven't raced out to "save" him, or played Private Investigator to find out what really happened or anything.
Not only do you have to consider your safety but that of the innocent babies in your care. Remember. . . none of you all caused it, can control it or cure it. HE committed a crime. . . .Don't you get sucked into his madness whether knowingly or unwittedly. You can get sucked in innocently. . .sometimes folks are arrested and charged with a crime for merely knowing the whereabouts of their fugitive loved one and not telling the police. Whatever you do, don't let him seek shelter with or from you; if you do, you could also be charged with a crime. In either event, CPS may step in and take the kids for a whole host of reasons: you are incarcerated, CPS believes the kids were put knowingly into harm's way, etc. I'm not saying this to scare you but to play out one possible scenario. Do you want to risk any of this for your brother: YOU having a criminal record, YOU going to jail, having CPS involved, potentially losing the kids? This may be a good time to practice putting some distance between you and his addict behavior. . .if not for the potential legal consequences for you but then for your own safety, sanity and well-being.
I get it. . .your brother f***ed with the wrong person. . .and that person is looking for street justice. Would your brother think about turning himself in to the police? This way the consequences of his behavior should only lead to jail. . .which may be a good thing. . .he may get clean and sober there. To protect yourself, you might want to FB or text him this suggestion. (This way there is a record of exactly what you said.) I assume you don't know where he is and therefore you couldn't turn him in yourself. I know it may be hard to drop a dime on your brother, but this may be another option that may protect him from street justice. . . and in the long run, protect you, too.
Strange cars sitting outside your house in the wee hours of the morning??? How scary. How intimidating. I like being secure in my home and feeling like it is my sanctuary. Me? Personally? . . .I'd call 911 and have the police see who is out there and why they are out there every time I saw the car. The driver/passenger probably have warrants or other things against them that may land them in jail thanks to your call. Put your tax dollars to work and hopefully you can start to put your mind at ease. I'd also invest in the best security system I could afford. . .whether that be cameras, motion detectors, alarm system, pit bull with a bad attitude, bars on any ground level windows, private guards, (I don't like guns and therefore would not but) you could buy/carry a gun or some combination thereof. . . Think about your household.
Lord knows you didn't ask for this and you don't want it. My heart hurts for you. I'm sending a huge hug your way. I'm sure u need it. . . I'm praying for your brother's safety, that his eyes are opened/his heart is touched and that he commits to sobriety. I'm also praying that God protects your babies and you. But. . .as my grandmother used to say, "God helps those that help themselves." Please be vigilant and don't take anything for granted. Your and the kids' safety should be paramount.
Praying for your comfort, safety & strength,
Lynn
xoxo
OMG. . .I am so sorry about your brother. Robbery? Guns? And now some guy from the streets is looking for him for retribution? Sweet Jesus. . .YOUR BROTHER has gotten himself in a big mess. I know you are concerned and worried. That's natural and normal. . .he's your blood & you clearly love him. You should be proud of yourself that you haven't raced out to "save" him, or played Private Investigator to find out what really happened or anything.
Not only do you have to consider your safety but that of the innocent babies in your care. Remember. . . none of you all caused it, can control it or cure it. HE committed a crime. . . .Don't you get sucked into his madness whether knowingly or unwittedly. You can get sucked in innocently. . .sometimes folks are arrested and charged with a crime for merely knowing the whereabouts of their fugitive loved one and not telling the police. Whatever you do, don't let him seek shelter with or from you; if you do, you could also be charged with a crime. In either event, CPS may step in and take the kids for a whole host of reasons: you are incarcerated, CPS believes the kids were put knowingly into harm's way, etc. I'm not saying this to scare you but to play out one possible scenario. Do you want to risk any of this for your brother: YOU having a criminal record, YOU going to jail, having CPS involved, potentially losing the kids? This may be a good time to practice putting some distance between you and his addict behavior. . .if not for the potential legal consequences for you but then for your own safety, sanity and well-being.
I get it. . .your brother f***ed with the wrong person. . .and that person is looking for street justice. Would your brother think about turning himself in to the police? This way the consequences of his behavior should only lead to jail. . .which may be a good thing. . .he may get clean and sober there. To protect yourself, you might want to FB or text him this suggestion. (This way there is a record of exactly what you said.) I assume you don't know where he is and therefore you couldn't turn him in yourself. I know it may be hard to drop a dime on your brother, but this may be another option that may protect him from street justice. . . and in the long run, protect you, too.
Strange cars sitting outside your house in the wee hours of the morning??? How scary. How intimidating. I like being secure in my home and feeling like it is my sanctuary. Me? Personally? . . .I'd call 911 and have the police see who is out there and why they are out there every time I saw the car. The driver/passenger probably have warrants or other things against them that may land them in jail thanks to your call. Put your tax dollars to work and hopefully you can start to put your mind at ease. I'd also invest in the best security system I could afford. . .whether that be cameras, motion detectors, alarm system, pit bull with a bad attitude, bars on any ground level windows, private guards, (I don't like guns and therefore would not but) you could buy/carry a gun or some combination thereof. . . Think about your household.
Lord knows you didn't ask for this and you don't want it. My heart hurts for you. I'm sending a huge hug your way. I'm sure u need it. . . I'm praying for your brother's safety, that his eyes are opened/his heart is touched and that he commits to sobriety. I'm also praying that God protects your babies and you. But. . .as my grandmother used to say, "God helps those that help themselves." Please be vigilant and don't take anything for granted. Your and the kids' safety should be paramount.
Praying for your comfort, safety & strength,
Lynn
xoxo
Thank you, Lynn. I appreciate all the advice, hugs and prayers! I will take all that I can get at this point.
I have played a bit of 'private investigator'. I was able to read some of what the man that he robbed posted on facebook. I have not been in contact with my brother since I kicked him out a few weeks ago. The man apparently didn't press charges on my brother, but on the man that my brother was with that had the gun. He wants to handle my brother himself.
I agree with you, the reason that I had to kick him out was for my childrens sake. I cannot ever, ever risk their well being or have them taken away for the life my brother chooses to live. It's not worth it. They need me more than he ever could. I cannot do anything else for him, it's his turn to help himself.
We had him turn himself in after he went missing a couple weeks ago after I kicked him out. We had a missing persons report on him and he had warrants. So after he was located he went to jail. They only held him for a day and released him. We had the missing persons report on him because he has robbed someone else and we worried for his safety. He was no where to be found, no one had heard from him (friends or family) and his phone went straight to voicemail. He had woke up on a gravel road and had no clue what had happened. He later opened up to my mom and said that the people he was with feared that he was a cop and one of them had him go down to the lake with him and drink a beer. The man pointed a gun at his head and my brother took off into the woods and didn't remember anything after that.
So he just went right back to the crazy life. We had prayed that would have been his rock bottom. It wasn't. He claims he is sober and doesn't need help. I've found evidence that suggests otherwise in his belongings that are still in my house. There also aren't any sober people that I know that have these strange events happen to them over and over in a matter of weeks. I love my brother and I want him to live to an old age. He's my baby brother. I've always felt it was my responsibility to look after him but I can't anymore. I can't put my family or myself through this.
I agree about the strange cars. I plan on calling the police or at least getting license plate numbers. I had just been half asleep and in shock the last couple of times I had noticed them.
Again, thank you for the prayers. I appreciate them more than I could ever say. I pray everyday that he opens his eyes and turns it all over to Jesus. Thats the only person I know that can save him besides himself. I tend to be a huge worry wart and his safety and addiction consumes me everyday. Between the possibility of overdosing or robbing the wrong person, my stress is to the max. Besides, the last time he spoke to me when I kicked him out his words were "if I end up dead, just remember how you treated me". Guilt has been eating me alive. I know this is the whole manipulation game and he loves to play that game. The scenario is stuck in my head though, " what if he does wind up dead and thats the last thing he ever said to me". Horrible. I cannot express enough how much I hate this drug. It has turned my baby brother into someone I don't know and barely recognize. I miss him.
Thank you for all your kind words.
I have played a bit of 'private investigator'. I was able to read some of what the man that he robbed posted on facebook. I have not been in contact with my brother since I kicked him out a few weeks ago. The man apparently didn't press charges on my brother, but on the man that my brother was with that had the gun. He wants to handle my brother himself.
I agree with you, the reason that I had to kick him out was for my childrens sake. I cannot ever, ever risk their well being or have them taken away for the life my brother chooses to live. It's not worth it. They need me more than he ever could. I cannot do anything else for him, it's his turn to help himself.
We had him turn himself in after he went missing a couple weeks ago after I kicked him out. We had a missing persons report on him and he had warrants. So after he was located he went to jail. They only held him for a day and released him. We had the missing persons report on him because he has robbed someone else and we worried for his safety. He was no where to be found, no one had heard from him (friends or family) and his phone went straight to voicemail. He had woke up on a gravel road and had no clue what had happened. He later opened up to my mom and said that the people he was with feared that he was a cop and one of them had him go down to the lake with him and drink a beer. The man pointed a gun at his head and my brother took off into the woods and didn't remember anything after that.
So he just went right back to the crazy life. We had prayed that would have been his rock bottom. It wasn't. He claims he is sober and doesn't need help. I've found evidence that suggests otherwise in his belongings that are still in my house. There also aren't any sober people that I know that have these strange events happen to them over and over in a matter of weeks. I love my brother and I want him to live to an old age. He's my baby brother. I've always felt it was my responsibility to look after him but I can't anymore. I can't put my family or myself through this.
I agree about the strange cars. I plan on calling the police or at least getting license plate numbers. I had just been half asleep and in shock the last couple of times I had noticed them.
Again, thank you for the prayers. I appreciate them more than I could ever say. I pray everyday that he opens his eyes and turns it all over to Jesus. Thats the only person I know that can save him besides himself. I tend to be a huge worry wart and his safety and addiction consumes me everyday. Between the possibility of overdosing or robbing the wrong person, my stress is to the max. Besides, the last time he spoke to me when I kicked him out his words were "if I end up dead, just remember how you treated me". Guilt has been eating me alive. I know this is the whole manipulation game and he loves to play that game. The scenario is stuck in my head though, " what if he does wind up dead and thats the last thing he ever said to me". Horrible. I cannot express enough how much I hate this drug. It has turned my baby brother into someone I don't know and barely recognize. I miss him.
Thank you for all your kind words.
