I was reading a post about someones neighbor ripping them off their pills. I have found myself in the same situation. It is so strange that just a couple of years ago, a was had a high paying job for a large corporation, worked with some world renowned people and now I realize that the only few "so called friends" that I have left (well, not all) are the ones that I have found to hook up with pills. They are addicts also and I dont trust them as far as I can throw them because a few times (probably high) I have noticed money missing, pills missing...you know. I still cant believe that I got myself into this horrible mess.
Well, so far I am sticking to my tapering very well.Today is #2 and my friend brings them to me 3 x a day because I know if she brought them all at once I would probably take more. I did feel some sweats last night, and restless sleep, but not too bad. I am determined to make this work.
Hope everyone has a nice day. I'll be checking in again later. Thanks again for all the support.
Perc
Perc, I look back at some of my "buddies" i used to hang out with. What's interesting is you mentioned people ripping u off, but u not ripping them off. When i was actively using , i still maintained a moral code, at least with people. It's funny , though i should have known better, i expected and assumed my "friends" would have that same code. But some were pure scum & I don't think it was necessarly because of drugs, though they made have made them a little worse= I honestly don't know. But i gotta think a lot of people who are, or were narcotics addicts, tried to still lead a decent life & when we did cross the line it had more to do with the legal system & availablity then with our moral standards. (of course when ur dealing with crack heads, thats a whole different story)
Browndog,
What you say is true. Thank God, I NEVER had to steal from anyone (and would never steal, especially from a friend). Right now I am going through some tough times financially and with Christmas right around the corner, I know that I cant afford to be paying for extra drs visits - and I hate to admit that I have even bought them from "friends" - and these "friends" do not give you a break on the price. I knew that one or two got them for free and sold them for sometimes $10 each. They know how bad you want them. And, of course, the are not FRIENDS, they are DEALERS.
By no means am I rich, but I dont know if I could have ever crossed the line of stealing to get pills. I know that some have and I could understand it because of the "need" for the drug. I am nobody to judge anyone. I have done plenty of lying, and this might sound stupid, but I feel so GUILTY for buying cheaper "generic" products or cheaper ground beef even at the grocery store to try to save money. That really bothered me. But now I want my kids to have the great Christmas they deserve and with the money that I save from this horrible addiction, they will get it. Perc
What you say is true. Thank God, I NEVER had to steal from anyone (and would never steal, especially from a friend). Right now I am going through some tough times financially and with Christmas right around the corner, I know that I cant afford to be paying for extra drs visits - and I hate to admit that I have even bought them from "friends" - and these "friends" do not give you a break on the price. I knew that one or two got them for free and sold them for sometimes $10 each. They know how bad you want them. And, of course, the are not FRIENDS, they are DEALERS.
By no means am I rich, but I dont know if I could have ever crossed the line of stealing to get pills. I know that some have and I could understand it because of the "need" for the drug. I am nobody to judge anyone. I have done plenty of lying, and this might sound stupid, but I feel so GUILTY for buying cheaper "generic" products or cheaper ground beef even at the grocery store to try to save money. That really bothered me. But now I want my kids to have the great Christmas they deserve and with the money that I save from this horrible addiction, they will get it. Perc
good for you buddy, i think you might be being a little hard on urself
The guilt is overbearing. I want this so bad. I have already cut my intake in half. This is day 3 of tapering down from that and I'm already having stomach cramps and couldnt sleep last night. Is this normal? I'm thinking of just forgetting about the pills and getting this over with. I'm just worried about being able to function as a single mom with 4 children depending on me for cooking, cleaning, etc. When I read some of these stories of people doing it cold turkey, I feel like a chicken sh**. I'm just going to take this one day at a time and try to the best I can for now (the VERY best). I dont have any pills in my possession - at first I was so anxious about it, now I feel kinda relieved. Perc
Perc-We are like 1:1. Two years ago, I worked for a Fortune 100, making over $200K a year and now nothing. AND, I'm tapering TOO...
Also, the question Perc, is will (how) do we back back there?
if u were there before, u will make it there again for sure (not trying to rhyme). Perk, (sorry i thought u were a guy) stop with the guilt. Seriously, i know u feel obligated to feel guilty & there is a way to deal with it. Decide that after u are over the crucial portion, u will deal with the guilt. Treat it like you were dealing with a major client or problem at work that demanded your full attention. You were not going to ignore the other things, just deal with them later, & later you dealt with them. This is the same thing. Right now you have one major, major challenge to deal with. Get you r awareness on that focus. You are not BSing yourself, you will deal with the guilt at a specific time. Even mark it down on your calendar to deal with about a month from now & focus on your task at hand. That is the right way to deal with it.
Also, if things are that rough, why do u need to suffer. WD's never helped anyonee. Can u get in touch with a Dr. or Hosp. to help, or at least maybe something like darvocet to taper with. They are pretty good for wds, as long as ur careful, cause u can od on them, but should be ok with a drs script at moderate amounts. this is not medical advice, just a theory i heard & maybe experienced. (years ago, i must warn, a friend died of darvocet od, but he was litteraly eating them by the handful & i think h e was trying, but read a pdr if u investigate this theory, cause people do od on them)
Also, if things are that rough, why do u need to suffer. WD's never helped anyonee. Can u get in touch with a Dr. or Hosp. to help, or at least maybe something like darvocet to taper with. They are pretty good for wds, as long as ur careful, cause u can od on them, but should be ok with a drs script at moderate amounts. this is not medical advice, just a theory i heard & maybe experienced. (years ago, i must warn, a friend died of darvocet od, but he was litteraly eating them by the handful & i think h e was trying, but read a pdr if u investigate this theory, cause people do od on them)
a scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. the frog asks, "how do i know you won't sting me?" the scorpion says, "because if i do, i will die too." the frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. the frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "why?" replies the scorpion: "its my nature..."
___________
my nature of self-destructing (powerless and unmangeable) and trying to take everyone who loved me down with me, while living in active addiction, was much like this fable relates of the scorpion.
i needed a whole lot of help and guidance when trying to change that nature. it took some work and was a whole lot easier when i heeded the suggestions of those who had walked this path of recovery before me.
there is a solution.
namaste
sammy
___________
my nature of self-destructing (powerless and unmangeable) and trying to take everyone who loved me down with me, while living in active addiction, was much like this fable relates of the scorpion.
i needed a whole lot of help and guidance when trying to change that nature. it took some work and was a whole lot easier when i heeded the suggestions of those who had walked this path of recovery before me.
there is a solution.
namaste
sammy
