I'm just sick of everything and while I've gotten some good information, experiences and true friends from the program, i am just not able to be sober with AA. For some people, they come to AA ready without rehab, but i just want to break the cycle, and as it says in the BB, the jittery or befogged alcoholic is better served getting medical/treatment before he/she is most able to accept the message. So, I think I will be going away (about an hour north) to a rehab in-patient place. I just told my father today that I was thinking that I needed that, which was extremely hard, not to mention my brother is an alcoholic and my sister is just now being accused of being an alcoholic in the past 2 weeks by my parents. My parents have 3 alcoholic children, i just feel sorry for them and know they must be soo confused and annoyed.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you folks know, so in case i dont show up here for awhile, i probably won't be dead or in a nasty bender, just away. Can anyone share their in-patient experience? If I can go, it will probably be 28 days. What is it like? White gowns with pills and paper cups??Experiences.....? Thanks
Dodsworth
God bless you Dodsworth. I could have cried when I read your post.I am so glad that you are going into reab. I wish you all the best and I will certainly be thinking of you. whenever it is possible to do so please check in here and let us know how you are. I am going to miss seeing you on here. Please know that you have made a friend in me and I will continue to care about you . AA is not for everyone,we all have to find our own way.You know what will work best for you.I'm a AA member but I take what works for me from it and the other stuff I leave. I have found a way to stay sober and that is what I focus on. I haven't completed the steps and to be honest don't know if I ever will but there are a lot of things that I do take from AA that has indeed helped me stay sober. I will continue to be a member and learn along the way to what I get most out of for my recovery. For now I am at a good place and for that I am grateful. I don't know anything too much about what its like being an in patient at reab. I do know that is how my nephew got sober at the age of 26. He had to do it more than once but on his 4th time there he did get sober and stay sober. But not before he had convulsions and went in a coma. I hope you get sober before something like that happens to you. He has been sober now for 6 years and is living a wonderful life. I know you will succeed at staying sober dodsworth because you want to give up drinking. I hope all goes well for you and no matter what please remember that even though we have never met I care for you and am wishing the best for you. I can only imagine how difficult times this must be for your parents but it seems from your post that they are standing by you and if that is the case you have something to be grateful for. I will soon have 6 months of sobriety and I can tell you it DOES GET BETTER. I no longer crave the alcohol and I am finally free from its chains. It is a wonderful feeling and one that I wish for you my friend. Hang in there.be tough,be strong but above all to thine ownself be true. If we are not true to ourselves then we lose who we are and we lose who we are capable of becoming. I think you are doing the right thing because this is a positive decision on your part. I have every confidence in you that you will get through this. I will be thinking of you.God bless and take care my friend. xxxxxxoooooo your friend always
pirate-
Thank you for being there from day 1. I appreciate the straight-forward approach of folks like skg, etc,and you have given me the 3rd degree more than a couple times...the intent is all the same and i appreciate everyones'posts. Pirate, thank you especially for reading my posts and posting with regularity, it made (and still does) make me feel good when i think someone wants to read whatever i have to say and trade posts, selfish yes, but you are a caring person and there is nothing selfish about that.
i think it will be this weekend..I have big guns behind me (including you and this board) but in my hometown, and for that i am unusually lucky: two judges, two doctors and a lawyer..who else do u need in your corner in a small town???? I would be a monumental fool if i didnt accept help. Your nephew?s story is scary and i think about that everyday.
My liver isnt going to fail tomorrow (as my sponsor tells me), but one crazy night is all it takes to drink too much or drive drunk...etc. When your an alcoholic and 12-15 drinks is not enough, then one night you flirt with 25-30 beers/shots and that is the night you stop breathing...
The only danger that my sponsor has told me lately is wanting to drink as much as i can right before going away. To "tie one on"as he says...but i can''t help thinking that way. I will be saying goodbye to my best friend since 1995. As long as I'm in my apartment, I rationalize that the night before going away will and should be a sort of glorious drunken goodbye...sponsor says, "you dont have to do that before rehab", but i believe i deserve, or rather should be able to do that without scorn...even though i know they are right..so, i guess im scared for many reasons, but one of them is that my wont for inpatient is somehow artificial or deeply dishonest..i dont know how else to explain it. I want to stop, so i know i am not totally full of crap, but the slightest reservation seems to loom large.
Dodsworth ---sorry for the long post! :(
Thank you for being there from day 1. I appreciate the straight-forward approach of folks like skg, etc,and you have given me the 3rd degree more than a couple times...the intent is all the same and i appreciate everyones'posts. Pirate, thank you especially for reading my posts and posting with regularity, it made (and still does) make me feel good when i think someone wants to read whatever i have to say and trade posts, selfish yes, but you are a caring person and there is nothing selfish about that.
i think it will be this weekend..I have big guns behind me (including you and this board) but in my hometown, and for that i am unusually lucky: two judges, two doctors and a lawyer..who else do u need in your corner in a small town???? I would be a monumental fool if i didnt accept help. Your nephew?s story is scary and i think about that everyday.
My liver isnt going to fail tomorrow (as my sponsor tells me), but one crazy night is all it takes to drink too much or drive drunk...etc. When your an alcoholic and 12-15 drinks is not enough, then one night you flirt with 25-30 beers/shots and that is the night you stop breathing...
The only danger that my sponsor has told me lately is wanting to drink as much as i can right before going away. To "tie one on"as he says...but i can''t help thinking that way. I will be saying goodbye to my best friend since 1995. As long as I'm in my apartment, I rationalize that the night before going away will and should be a sort of glorious drunken goodbye...sponsor says, "you dont have to do that before rehab", but i believe i deserve, or rather should be able to do that without scorn...even though i know they are right..so, i guess im scared for many reasons, but one of them is that my wont for inpatient is somehow artificial or deeply dishonest..i dont know how else to explain it. I want to stop, so i know i am not totally full of crap, but the slightest reservation seems to loom large.
Dodsworth ---sorry for the long post! :(
DW
Getting some time between you and booze is a great idea. No, you don't have to go for one last bender but we do that, don't we? Our last hurrah. I know a guy though, that killed a woman on Mother's Day and injured a man that, last I heard, was going to lose his legs. Remember, that could happen to any drunk driver. If you MUST drink one more time, please make sure you don't drive.
I was in a lot of detoxes. They are scary at first but I got used to going. How sick is that? I like to believe I learned something each time I went but I didn't get sober there. I got sober in the rooms. If you want to get sober you'll find a way. If you have reservations today, don't worry about them. One day at a time, right? Good luck, hon.
Getting some time between you and booze is a great idea. No, you don't have to go for one last bender but we do that, don't we? Our last hurrah. I know a guy though, that killed a woman on Mother's Day and injured a man that, last I heard, was going to lose his legs. Remember, that could happen to any drunk driver. If you MUST drink one more time, please make sure you don't drive.
I was in a lot of detoxes. They are scary at first but I got used to going. How sick is that? I like to believe I learned something each time I went but I didn't get sober there. I got sober in the rooms. If you want to get sober you'll find a way. If you have reservations today, don't worry about them. One day at a time, right? Good luck, hon.
Good luck, Dodsworth. When you're ready we'll be here. When the consequences get tough enough, or the reasons for NOT drinking out-weigh the reasons for staying drunk, there IS a solution. No 'shoulda,' no preaching. Come back whenever you can.
Hey Dodsworth,
Glad you are gonna get some help. I haven't been to the clink for booze but I went for drugs. I can tell you with great confidence that you don't have anything to worry about. The days that are scary in treatment are Day One because you don't know what to expect and the last day because you will be afraid you won't make it out there alone. Just listen to what they tell you and go in with an open mind and you will be fine. If you truly want sobriety it will work for you no problem. If you think you will go to treatment and come out all better you will have a problem. You still have to do the work. They just give you the tools to deal with life. Getting sober is the easy part. Staying sober is the b**** of it all.
I wish you all the luck and come back when you can. :-)
XX Valarie
Glad you are gonna get some help. I haven't been to the clink for booze but I went for drugs. I can tell you with great confidence that you don't have anything to worry about. The days that are scary in treatment are Day One because you don't know what to expect and the last day because you will be afraid you won't make it out there alone. Just listen to what they tell you and go in with an open mind and you will be fine. If you truly want sobriety it will work for you no problem. If you think you will go to treatment and come out all better you will have a problem. You still have to do the work. They just give you the tools to deal with life. Getting sober is the easy part. Staying sober is the b**** of it all.
I wish you all the luck and come back when you can. :-)
XX Valarie
thanks guys.
Val- that is good to hear. I know rehab cant fix me, it will just be a good jumpstart into sobriety. The only thing is, the rehab center that was recommended to me by my counselor and fellow AA member is something like $1,000 per day, and so i cannot fathom a way of negotiating that craziness. So, I might go to some crappy halfway house for a week and then do IOP, but truthfully, i dont see that option as a very good one, as all that would take place down the street from my apartment, or in my apartment. Why make inpatient absolutely unaffordable? *cough*Fairbanks*cough* Doesnt make sense to me at all.
Thanks Valarie.
Dodsworth
Val- that is good to hear. I know rehab cant fix me, it will just be a good jumpstart into sobriety. The only thing is, the rehab center that was recommended to me by my counselor and fellow AA member is something like $1,000 per day, and so i cannot fathom a way of negotiating that craziness. So, I might go to some crappy halfway house for a week and then do IOP, but truthfully, i dont see that option as a very good one, as all that would take place down the street from my apartment, or in my apartment. Why make inpatient absolutely unaffordable? *cough*Fairbanks*cough* Doesnt make sense to me at all.
Thanks Valarie.
Dodsworth
| QUOTE |
| I know rehab cant fix me, it will just be a good jumpstart into sobriety. The only thing is, the rehab center that was recommended to me by my counselor and fellow AA member is something like $1,000 per day, and so i cannot fathom a way of negotiating that craziness. So, I might go to some crappy halfway house for a week and then do IOP, but truthfully, i dont see that option as a very good one, as all that would take place down the street from my apartment, or in my apartment. Why make inpatient absolutely unaffordable? |
Dodsworth, it might time for some in-your-face reality. Take it or leave it.
1) Addictions don't just go away. They get more fierce, the addict's world gets smaller, and hope gradually disappears. Addiction will follow the addict to the ends of their world and it takes commitment and inner strength to defeat it. Addiction will out-run you, out-flank you, out-smart you, and out-live you if given the smallest chance.
2) Rehabilitation takes professionals who are tuned to addiction, babysitters, medical staff, certified counseling professionals, and facilities. All of them are under-paid for the bullshlt they endure as a******* and addicts abuse them while pretending they're not sick. Ever watch A & E's "Intervention?" It ain't pretty and it ain't free.
3) Rehab isn't for running away from your situation. For some people it's a vacation from reality and, when they come back into their world, NONE of the pressures are gone. In some instances they're worse because running caused more chaos.
4) If I could recover an easier, softer way, I'd have done it. The insanity of these diseases is that I kept doing the same things, trying to change something so that I could still have my addictions, and it didn't work. And I was completely amazed (and pissed) that it didn't work the way I wanted it to. Doing the same things expecting different results is THE definition of insanity in this business.
5) Recovery ain't for wusses, sissies, know-it-alls, or softies. It isn't for smarties, prima-donnas, runners or tough-guys. Recovery is for people who have tried every other thing on the planet in an effort to avoid the simple, yet glaring fact, that they're addicted. But not dead yet. Then, and only then, does the humility of accepting that one is powerless, and that life has become unmanageable, become reality. Then. At THAT moment, the alcoholic/addict becomes teachable.
I wish you only the best in your search for a softer, easier way. If you want to drink, that's your business. If you want to stop, we can help. I hope you fill us in on your journey.
peaceness.
P.S. If you think this is harsh, go out and try some controlled addiction. Harsh is a word for cheap weed. This is a life-or-death business, and while recovering addicts and alcoholics are jovial in their presentations and their fellowship, they're deadly serious about their recoveries. Everyone quits addiction; The key is to do it while still living...
So, I might go to some crappy halfway house for a week
I work at one of those crappy halfway houses. Actually, they aren't as bad as you may think. What we have here is a bunch of guys living together trying to stay sober one day at a time. Some make it, some don't. It's all up to the individual. Most halfway houses I know won't take someone until they are a few days sober. I see the guys making some good sober friendships that will last a life time if they want it to. Everyone chips in together and helps with cooking and cleaning. They go to meetings together and if someone is acting inappropriately they call him on it. Keep an open mind, DW. Don't go in with "contempt prior to investigation". Does your county have a detox? County and city detoxes are usually free and not as bad as you make think.
I work at one of those crappy halfway houses. Actually, they aren't as bad as you may think. What we have here is a bunch of guys living together trying to stay sober one day at a time. Some make it, some don't. It's all up to the individual. Most halfway houses I know won't take someone until they are a few days sober. I see the guys making some good sober friendships that will last a life time if they want it to. Everyone chips in together and helps with cooking and cleaning. They go to meetings together and if someone is acting inappropriately they call him on it. Keep an open mind, DW. Don't go in with "contempt prior to investigation". Does your county have a detox? County and city detoxes are usually free and not as bad as you make think.
skg- i appreciate the straight talk. I've got some options and i will be weighing them.
12stepper- I apologize for saying "crappy halfway house". Like skg was sayin, I guess Im just lookin for a softer, cushier way to detox/sober up, and a halfway house where i have to do chores certainly isnt high on my list, for all the wrong reasons..
12stepper- I apologize for saying "crappy halfway house". Like skg was sayin, I guess Im just lookin for a softer, cushier way to detox/sober up, and a halfway house where i have to do chores certainly isnt high on my list, for all the wrong reasons..
Hey, DW, when a halfway house was suggested to me by a counselor a while back and I ran like hell after I stopped laughing at her. I've learned a lot since working here though and I don't think it would have been as bad as I thought. But I can fully understand "crappy halfway house". I never did live in one. I think it is what you make of it though. They really aren't that bad, some of them. If you decide to go I suggest you check it out first as long as you aren't homeless and still have a choice. Most of our clients are homeless and we are the last house on the block, if you know what I mean.
