Hi all..I was just sitting here and thinking about my pill using days vs now. I used to live by the clock. 7am..half pill, 9am..the other half..11am, half a pill and so on throughout the day. As soon as my heart started to race, I knew it was time for another one.I remained tired, dulled, unmotivated, numb, depressed and it always made my blood sugar drop so I overate just to not feel sick.I was just blah. Life was blah. Everything was blah. I didnt want to do anything..not parent my child, not do my job that I so desperately need. At night I would pass out around 8pm on the couch only to ake up an hour later..then go to bed at 10pm. If I couldnt fall asleep, I'd take another half pill.I gained 25 lbs in 3 yrs.ugh.
Now I wake up in a good mood, I dont feel hungry/shaky throughout the day, I feel happy and motivated. I want to actually DO things! I dont need to go to bed til 11pm because I have so much energy. I dont lose my temper over nothing either. Why did I ever take pills? Why did I let my house become a mess, my body overweight and lose all those years???????? Does anyone ever ask themsevles WHY????? I feel like I was living in a bubble and I finally found the pin to pop it...
Then versus now...
I've got a cold. A full blown head and chest cold.
Before, I didn't have to deal with all these symptoms. Pain pills masked most of the stuff. Dried up my nose, covered any pains and gave me plenty of energy.
This sucks, but at least I'm not hooked on pain pills! Sneeze...
Mark
I've got a cold. A full blown head and chest cold.
Before, I didn't have to deal with all these symptoms. Pain pills masked most of the stuff. Dried up my nose, covered any pains and gave me plenty of energy.
This sucks, but at least I'm not hooked on pain pills! Sneeze...
Mark
I hope you feel better soon!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE |
Why did I ever take pills? Why did I let my house become a mess, my body overweight and lose all those years???????? Does anyone ever ask themsevles WHY????? I feel like I was living in a bubble and I finally found the pin to pop it... |
because you're a drug addict.
More shall be reveiled but not at once.It's a process and through the help of a recovery program your life will take on dimmensions you never thought possible.The secret is to take it easy,live in the now but take action.
You're in the right place and many here like Sammy,Lisa,Kat,Stacey,August,Carol,Alice,Todd,None,Rachel and many others can answer your questions.You just have to ask.
Kiki, I do not think that you are buying into the 12 step recovery process, so I will be brief with this. If it does not fit, just ignore it.
In AA certain Promises are read before each meeting. I have pasted them below and highlighted a few of them in particular.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among ussometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Good luck, stay clean.
In AA certain Promises are read before each meeting. I have pasted them below and highlighted a few of them in particular.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among ussometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Good luck, stay clean.