I was reading a blog I like on ivillage Grrl Genius. In the blog she posed the question
what would you write in a letter from yourself now to yourself when you were 20.
It was just a delightful little blog and it left me wondering what I would tell myself. Now of course for most of us it would be the obvious...lay of the drugs/alcohol. But it's a rather eye opening excersize I wrote it and I will put it below but I have to tell you I really struggled because even with all the pain of my bad decisions and even my incarceration I have to tell you I wouldn't change much of my past. Because until today I didn't realize how much all of the stuff the yucky and the wonderful made me who I am now and I basically have finally lost that self loathing that I had most of my life. I don't think I am so bad. FINALLY. Now some in my real life may look at this and think how could she love herself she had "everything" going for her beautiful new house, great job, loving husband, kids yada yada. and I did (not braggin just sayin to prove my point) Because I wouldn't trade places with me back then with me right now. Even with all the materialistic advantages and someone who loved me cause I do finally love me too. Anyway here is my letter and I would love to hear others.
Dear Me,
You are only a child. Please enjoy the benefits of your youth and power.
If you dont like your situation change it, if you cant change it change your attitude. Think about the things you are labeling important. They will not necessarily the things that will get you through when things get sticky.
Learn to be a little self reliant. Get a place on your own buy your own groceries and your own stuff before you try the marriage thing. Take advantage of the free learning in high school if you dont take the offer for dad to help you through college. When you are in college GO TO SCHOOL. Actually think about the future in terms of what YOU want out of YOUR life. Love and hold nothing back. With that love learn self love and before you have sex learn some intimacy. Pick a partner that helps you and thinks of you. Dont get stuck always chasing after a guy. If he needs to be chased let him go and dont follow. If you are trying that hard for their attention now think where you will be if you stay. Watch how you choose the one you marry. Listen to your gut. Marriage/forever is a long, long time. Make him work for it because you are worth it. Once your married you will want that time to draw back on when youre down. Think of the life you are choosing with every little choice you make. Take a long hard look at how much those drugs mean to you. Think of this you are having fun but are you thinking what that fun might be doing to your mind body and soul? Your mind is strong but when you feed negativity that is what is strong.
Learn to love yourself and understand yourself
Your body is beautiful and healthy keep taking those long walks. Please take care of your body.
Dont forget your soul. Forget those that told you that you were not good enough. Forget what your picture of a mom and wife should be and be what you are. It is good enough!!
Be more accepting of other peoples and other lifestyles. Dont judge so harshly you may have circumstances that force you to learn compassion and understanding. It may be less painful if you practice now.
Live your life so that its an open book. Be HONEST in all things. If you live a honest life you have nothing to hide.
Listen your instincts. Trust in God.
Love,
Older Me
Edited to say: PS STOP SMOKING NOW!
* Of all the things I have shared here this seems so personal thanks for taking the time to read it.
Jane
thats easy,
Dear Tom,
Buy Microsoft stock. The Steeler will cover the spread in the 2006 superbowl.
Regards,
Tom
Dear Tom,
Buy Microsoft stock. The Steeler will cover the spread in the 2006 superbowl.
Regards,
Tom
Google and Yahoo. LOL... Why did I leave that stuff out! Good thinking Tom
Love,
Jane
PS Hope your doing alright MWAH. That was a big cyber kiss.
Love,
Jane
PS Hope your doing alright MWAH. That was a big cyber kiss.
aww, thanks Jane, I needed that.
Actually, I'm not greedy, microsoft would have been enough..
Actually, I'm not greedy, microsoft would have been enough..
I think I would have told myself to relax and enjoy the little things in life. Not to worry so much about pleasing others and just be happy with who I am.
Back to The Future.
Tom
LMAO That was great..
Funny enough they had almost the same thing discussed on Oprah today...a woman wrote her own Obit, and it became an incredible vicissitude in her life..
Not sure about an Obit, but my tombstone will say:
" I TOLD them i was Sick..."
Ali
LMAO That was great..
Funny enough they had almost the same thing discussed on Oprah today...a woman wrote her own Obit, and it became an incredible vicissitude in her life..
Not sure about an Obit, but my tombstone will say:
" I TOLD them i was Sick..."
Ali
Tom,
Good smile for the day and great topic.
Good smile for the day and great topic.
Very nice, Jane. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. LOL
It is a great topic. Hindsight is always 20/20, huh?
What a cool post Jane...
lol @ Tom
What I would tell myself at 20? Run. Run as fast as you can for the nearest exit. That man you're about to marry? So not the prince charming that you thought.
Of course then I wouldn't have my oldest, so that's out. I guess it's like wanting to go back and do it all over again? Would I change anything? I don't think so. Some mistakes, definately, people, oh yea, but life's course? No.
lol @ Tom
What I would tell myself at 20? Run. Run as fast as you can for the nearest exit. That man you're about to marry? So not the prince charming that you thought.
Of course then I wouldn't have my oldest, so that's out. I guess it's like wanting to go back and do it all over again? Would I change anything? I don't think so. Some mistakes, definately, people, oh yea, but life's course? No.
