{{{JoJo}}}
I read your post awhile ago but had to digest it for a bit before I knew what to say. First, I am so soryy that he has failed to see what you are going through. I am sorry he thought to "help" you buy unloading all his BS on you. I am sorry that he failed to see that you are struggling through withdrawl & trying to get better for him & the baby. I find it hard to believe he doesn't know whats going on & is blind to the reality that he is thwarting your valiant efforts. Maybe if he is truly in the dark he is not the one for you because I believe someone who honestly knows you would be able to see. I am still flabbergasted that he even thought this would make anything better or change your sad mood. Now why in the world would you give up your business? The one thing that you have thats all your own. Keep it! Cling to it! It makes no sense to me that he doesn't want to leave yet he just made you feel completely unsecure in your own safe place. How ridiculous! I am so pissed! Please know that whatever you decide I am here to back you up! If you let him stay I completely understand, & if you kick his butt to his moms I understand that too. Try to be strong for the baby, this is what its all about really, the babies. We need to do our best for them! I love you tons!
aea
aea- you are so sweet, your words.... i know, i know esp. when we think of the dude we are talking about! amazing to me too. that is part of my upset. yet i don't know if remember, i never told him i was back on. so he thinks the getting clean is just part of my life upset rite now. otherwise really, i know he would get our daughter safe away from me, even the cats.... and def. he'd address the issue of the money... plus he is so anti drugs even though he's in an R&R band - they knew it would hurt their fortunes so never drugs).... and he is buddhist. no i think he thinks i'm more nuts than i am! i purposly picked this time of year to go clean because i knew he would attribute it to the difficult time of my life and being and what's going on now. for me i felt it good to face it all clean. then hippie introduced 'sacred time' and CAS 'becalmed' supplements and i was on my way. i felt/feel confident that no matter what no time would be good so i picked a good time when there were other things happening. anyway... so after my bad night due to many things from emotinal to physical, i went to see my therapist. we had a great session. i got home and he asked how the session went etc much later in conversation told me i can get nasty to him (gee do you think?).... that amongst it all he sees in our marriage that he has grown and i have not; he is happy and i am not. BUT honestly it's truth. so i have to deal with that. i started to tell him about the weed,but i didn't tell. i knew it would be bad. he'll freak and no matter what. i am done (i hope) and he need not ever know. he already knows drugs and cigs are an issue for me.
10 years since cigs.
esp now to sling it in my face OR take the kid?
again so funny when i think of who i'm writing about , my serene husband.
so in that case to write more fully i'm gonna get off the www and write to you.
you will have mail later.
i'm working for a few more hours and i'll be free-er after.
cool?
thank you, you are sweet. i really appreciate you!
and.... i'm glad you are sharing your stuff with trusted others.- jo
10 years since cigs.
esp now to sling it in my face OR take the kid?
again so funny when i think of who i'm writing about , my serene husband.
so in that case to write more fully i'm gonna get off the www and write to you.
you will have mail later.
i'm working for a few more hours and i'll be free-er after.
cool?
thank you, you are sweet. i really appreciate you!
and.... i'm glad you are sharing your stuff with trusted others.- jo
Well Congratulations are in order for quitting cigs ten years ago! That is a feat in and of itself so I know if you can do that, you can beat this too. See how strong you are! There is proof all around you! Its so funny cause you write & I'm reading away & then just in the very last line you say exactly what I need to hear. It is hard for me to share who I really am here cause I have been so honest about my life. The truth of it all is written on these pages & it does make me alittle uncomfortable BUT it also makes me feel good to know the real story is somewhere. The truth is out there & that gives me so much hope! Love you Jo!
aea
aea
