And I think you know who it applies to.
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
Our actor is self-centered, ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our own little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.
Who? All of us addicts.
lol
Definitely a good reminder for all of us.
Definitely a good reminder for all of us.
Mom, dosen't even come close to you. I love you.
Every last one of us ... addicts and non-addicts.
Like None posted on LB's thread....everytime I read something from the Big Book, I think......"WOW, that is ME.!" Or "That really applies to how I feel today." and so on. Guess I really need to get my hands on this famous book that was written about me.
Danny, I love you, too and am happy to see you high spirits tonight!
The Big Book is available, on line, at the Alcoholics Anonymous website. Right there on the home page. It can be read or downloaded for free. No charge. Zippo. No waiting for delivery. Just click and you are reading.
Bob B. Well, golly! Thanks for the tip. You know I am sure someone has told me that before but I wasn't ready to care enough to read it. Now I am and I am going to order it tonight. I need to be able to hold it, and use it as a reference repeatedly, wouldn't you say?
Thanks again!
Mark it up. Highlight it -- in yellow, green and orange. Dog ear the pages. Put stick em's on a bunch of pages. Stick prayer cards in it as place holders.
It has stood the test of time for over 70 years now and, in our day, this board is a lot like what those guys were doing with each other and for each other in the 1930s. Addicts helping addicts. Alcoholics helping alcoholics. Families helping other troubled families. Taking it one day and one person at a time.
It has stood the test of time for over 70 years now and, in our day, this board is a lot like what those guys were doing with each other and for each other in the 1930s. Addicts helping addicts. Alcoholics helping alcoholics. Families helping other troubled families. Taking it one day and one person at a time.
now hang on minute, hoss -
there's an important part (actually a whole lot of important parts) that precede this awesome message you post.
check it out, cause it might not make much sense to those who are not familiar with the message of the big book to come in here and just see this.
you're a pistol danny - so am i! and i'm so happy to read that you made it through the trials and tribulations of the day.
read on, my friend to the words that precede what you have posted.
love ya -
sammy
____
Chapter 5
HOW IT WORKS
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly
followed our path. Those who do not recover
are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves
to this simple program, usually men and women
who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with
themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not
at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are
naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner
of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their
chances are less than average. There are those, too, who
suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but
many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be
honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to
be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If
you have decided you want what we have and are willing
to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to
take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could
find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all
the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be
fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of
us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result
was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling,
powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But
there is One who has all power that One is God. May
you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the
turning point. we asked His protection and care with
complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a
program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that
our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over
to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of
ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human
being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became
willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,
except when to do so would injure them or
others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we
were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve
our conscious contact with God as we understood
Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for
us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of
these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics,
and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go
through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among
us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence
to these principles. We are not saints. The point
is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The
principles we have set down are guides to progress. We
claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the
agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after
make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our
own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved
our alcoholism.
That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that
we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as
we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and
just what do we do?
_____
now we pick up with what you posted. i balked - boy oh boy did i balk and my gosh did exclaim not only could i not do this, i did not have interest in doing it. funny thing about that - it wasn't until the pain became too severe to live with that i became willing.
oooooooo - la la - there is a solution.
namaste'
sammy
there's an important part (actually a whole lot of important parts) that precede this awesome message you post.
check it out, cause it might not make much sense to those who are not familiar with the message of the big book to come in here and just see this.
you're a pistol danny - so am i! and i'm so happy to read that you made it through the trials and tribulations of the day.
read on, my friend to the words that precede what you have posted.
love ya -
sammy
____
Chapter 5
HOW IT WORKS
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly
followed our path. Those who do not recover
are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves
to this simple program, usually men and women
who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with
themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not
at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are
naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner
of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their
chances are less than average. There are those, too, who
suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but
many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be
honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to
be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If
you have decided you want what we have and are willing
to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to
take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could
find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all
the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be
fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of
us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result
was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling,
powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But
there is One who has all power that One is God. May
you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the
turning point. we asked His protection and care with
complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a
program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that
our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over
to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of
ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human
being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became
willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,
except when to do so would injure them or
others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we
were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve
our conscious contact with God as we understood
Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for
us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of
these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics,
and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go
through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among
us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence
to these principles. We are not saints. The point
is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The
principles we have set down are guides to progress. We
claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the
agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after
make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our
own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved
our alcoholism.
That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that
we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as
we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and
just what do we do?
_____
now we pick up with what you posted. i balked - boy oh boy did i balk and my gosh did exclaim not only could i not do this, i did not have interest in doing it. funny thing about that - it wasn't until the pain became too severe to live with that i became willing.
oooooooo - la la - there is a solution.
namaste'
sammy
it wasn't until the pain became too severe to live with that i became willing.
I think that is where I am today.
Sammy- you are awesome. I am so glad you are back....
If that's where you are today, just read the first chapter today. Maybe it will have meaning for you.
I went to the AA site, but did not see where I can order the book. Do they sell them at all meetings? Or is there another place online where I can order one?
they sell them at meetings, tmom. last time i bought one it was about $6 or $7. that's the best to get one or you might try www.amazon.com
if you are unable to find one, just let me know. i have a few around my house and would be more than happy to send you one.
the pain - yes the pain - became too severe to live with. my way wasn't working and it took a long time for me to realize this. you sound like you are at the "jumping off place". please let us know what we can do to help.
hugs to you -
sammy
if you are unable to find one, just let me know. i have a few around my house and would be more than happy to send you one.
the pain - yes the pain - became too severe to live with. my way wasn't working and it took a long time for me to realize this. you sound like you are at the "jumping off place". please let us know what we can do to help.
hugs to you -
sammy
This has realy nothing to do with the topic of this post....
But SAMMY...im so glad that your back on here. I dont mean to jump in. but i had to.
I KNOW THAT WE DONT TALK ALL THAT MUCH. BUT I REALY MISSED READING YOUR POSTS. I'M GLAD THAT YOU TOOK TIME TO DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU NEEDED TO DO...BUT I REALY MISSED YOU.
O.k. enough of being sappy....again, thank you for coming back to the board!
Your friend, Christina
P.S. sorry for jumping in.
But SAMMY...im so glad that your back on here. I dont mean to jump in. but i had to.
I KNOW THAT WE DONT TALK ALL THAT MUCH. BUT I REALY MISSED READING YOUR POSTS. I'M GLAD THAT YOU TOOK TIME TO DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU NEEDED TO DO...BUT I REALY MISSED YOU.
O.k. enough of being sappy....again, thank you for coming back to the board!
Your friend, Christina
P.S. sorry for jumping in.
Sammy is right, it's sold at all meetings along with the 24 hour book and a lot of good others...and they are certainly not making a profit..I'd recommend it..and like you saw, it's availeable on line...Sammy, I am SO happy you are back
Sammy....thank you so much. I will surely keep you abreast of my progress. I do feel like I am at the "jumping off point", and I am simply happy to be jumping in the right direction for a change.
I just read the first chapter as suggested by Bob B. So I need to quit praying for myself? Ok.
I will be in a meeting within the next 48 hours and will get one there for sure. Thanks for the offer though. And thanks for everything. Really.
Danny:
Lol. This is one of my favorite readings in the book. Great post. Sammy, great to see you my friend.
Rach
Lol. This is one of my favorite readings in the book. Great post. Sammy, great to see you my friend.
Rach
