Today I have three weeks. I am going to church for the first time not reluctantly. I am going to thank God for this miracle in my life! I feel SO much better than I did just one week ago. I'm not saying that everything is perfect and that I feel terrific from waking to going to sleep but I feel better more hopeful, more alive, geniunely happier and optimistic for my future. I am more present with my family and my home and my job. Now I feel I can begin to work on my sobriety and anything else I ever wished for in life. Someone said in the meeting the other day that now he is running to what he ran away from for so long. His family. He used to hide out in the basement. They bought a new TV and his wife said I guess we'll put it in the basement. He said no I want it upstairs cause I want to be with the family and watch TV now. Well I related. I was always running to stores to get out of the house. I would be buying stuff for the family but running out as soon as they got home. Now I'm trying to make a dinner when I can and sit down and eat with them more. Anyone on here who is reading my posts and considering quitting pain pills I want you to know that it is possible. It is not easy but if I can do it, so can you! Surviving a wedding last night was huge for me. I was so edgy and everything ached. I had on high heels and just getting up and down in the church was a killer. I'm so used to being "comfortably numb". I took some tylenol at the reception cause my feet where killing me. I'm fortunate that my husband is a sober person. He has a toast or as he says I'm one and done with a glass of wine. He really doesn't enjoy drinking. But I took notice of the people there one of whom I sat with who I know has multiple addictions. People dancing with the drinks in their hands unable to put them down even for a dance. That was me many years ago. I gave up the liquor and substituted for pain pills. That was even harder because it was a secret unknown to most. It became my prison as I couldn't do anything without them. Now today I feel free. I know I have a long way to go but I am determined not to be imprisoned again. Freedom tastes way too good! Just thought I'd post.
You are doing great, 3 weeks is wonderful.. Congratulations
Hi AliceP...
Three weeks is HUGE! Gosh, I remember not even being able to go hours without popping a pill so way to go on 3 weeks! It is a miracle, isn't it? I like to refer to it as the grace of God because I sure know I didn't get myself clean & sober, it was a power greater than myself that had a huge part in getting me into recovery as I tried my "ways" for many, many years....
That's my story too. I was a hopeless alcoholic, found AA, went to a few meetings and was able to not take that first drink, got cured after a few meetings and white knuckled it for months & months until I went out on xanax, then painpills & fiorecet which wound up being a 7yr run. Today I am clean & sober, very active in Alcoholics Anonymous, have a sponsor and worked the 12 steps....Today I have the "guide" to living and I no longer have to run....I like your post as I ran on fear from everything for a very long time. Now I enjoy each day as it comes, today is all anyone has so I strive to be a good person and live life in this day.
Thanks for posting & sharing your journey....i've been reading along and you are an inspiration.
Take care,
Stacey
Three weeks is HUGE! Gosh, I remember not even being able to go hours without popping a pill so way to go on 3 weeks! It is a miracle, isn't it? I like to refer to it as the grace of God because I sure know I didn't get myself clean & sober, it was a power greater than myself that had a huge part in getting me into recovery as I tried my "ways" for many, many years....
QUOTE |
That was me many years ago. I gave up the liquor and substituted for pain pills. That was even harder because it was a secret unknown to most. It became my prison as I couldn't do anything without them. |
That's my story too. I was a hopeless alcoholic, found AA, went to a few meetings and was able to not take that first drink, got cured after a few meetings and white knuckled it for months & months until I went out on xanax, then painpills & fiorecet which wound up being a 7yr run. Today I am clean & sober, very active in Alcoholics Anonymous, have a sponsor and worked the 12 steps....Today I have the "guide" to living and I no longer have to run....I like your post as I ran on fear from everything for a very long time. Now I enjoy each day as it comes, today is all anyone has so I strive to be a good person and live life in this day.
Thanks for posting & sharing your journey....i've been reading along and you are an inspiration.
Take care,
Stacey