To All Those Who Care...

I never got to thank everyone, including those with negative things to say on my other thread cuz it was locked. ive just been reading through and learning alot more.
i am going to the drug and alcohol counsellor this week.
i am under tremedous pressure on the home front right now, and dont know how to cope with things. a positive is my nan and pa. thats it.
i understand that i cope by putting pills in my mouth, through this counselling i hope to learn how to cope some other way! but how do i unlearn this strategy?

one thing i will confirm, is when someone has a go at me on the board....u guys call it tough love...i admit that, no i dont cope very well with that. perhaps because its just yelling and screaming all the time here, and me not having the confidence to somehow get up and go.....i dont know. i do respond to kind posts much better, this is just the way i am. i feel like a little girl being told off when someone has a go at me, and cringe and just feel worse. i am trying to get better. i believe once i am out of this situation on the home front i will be alot better. my nan has made a point, i have noticed lately of telling me, after everytime i do something "im sooooo proud of u", cuz she knows that everything else i hear is always negative.

hopefully in my next post i will be able to tell u guys how my counselling session went!!!!


Elvis

I haven't been keeping up with the board very much but I have known you for a while and I think you're a good person. I do care about you as I'm sure most people here do. I only hope you care as much about you as we do.

You're a sweet girl and I hope someday you realize what you need to do.

You take care of you


Love ya


Frank
Hey Elvis....I believe everyone here cares.It's just that we can't take that first step for you.All we can do is keep reassuring you that it's worth taking.I think all of us have felt that fear you are feeling.You'll never know if life can be better if you don't try.

Take a chance...Columbus did.

Kevin
Keep us posted about the counsler E. I'm really interested in what they have to say. Remember honey, be HONEST. They are the one person you can be totally unafraid of and be honest with. Take care, Lisa
Hi Elvis,

You probably don't know me (I'm pretty new here), but I know that the "get up and go can be one of the hardest things to dp, especially if you never really "learned" those skills. I get paralyzed very easily, and when that happens, the only thing I cand do (after I let it ride for a little while) is do the smallest thing I can think of that will make a difference or bet me staarted. This happens in every fact of my life, so I can only imagine how hard it has been for you to pick up and do something about this, even though you know it's the thing you have to do.

I also know fo rme, that tough love usually ust makes things worse - creates more anxiety, more paralysis, and even this sense of "f*** you, i will do what I want," but that's some peoples' approach. But what they don't know is that it doesn't work for everyone. And even say, in rehab, the tough love approach is in a controlled and otherwise supportive environment - while ther are people who will push yoyu to your limits of what yo ucan take (which is important), there are people who wiljust try to empathize and understnad what is that is making u resistant to change and push you in different ways. That's more my style and often until I'm reading for a harder push, what I respond to best.

So I wish you the best of luck... And you are far from a lost cause (no matter what happens - if you relapse again have difficulty with therapy [although, the therapist has been the best thingin my life once I found the"right" one. Things don't change over night -- they don't change in years -- they change when you are ready. I just hope you are ready soon. And when you're ready to really be pushed, you're know it.

Until then, I would suggest that some of the others on this board who think that berating you and "tough loving" just back off, because it's obviously not working.

Elvis, you can break this.

SP


elvis..............

God Bless you........

user posted image

hi cowgirl................*wink*
user posted image

God Bless you lisa..............


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ELVIS ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I BELIEVE IN YOU

user posted image


love
thumper
Elvis

Hey sweetheart, hope you know that many many people WERE saying they didnt agree with the "tough love" approach for you, especially over and over again....beside much of the stuff wasnt even tough love it was just cruel and nasty...said to upset you only..not cus it was true....( like the comment questioning your mental state...)

I stated that you were 20 something..which i believe you are cus your what 28? Anyway the point is you are still very young and have such a good chance of totally changing your life honey...the addictive behaviour hasnt been in your life for 10, 15 or even 20 years like some of us... and when i look back when i was your age..i was much more open to change then i am now...lol

You can not know how excited i am for you to go to a counselor..is it an addiction counselor sweetheart???

Lisa hit the nail on the head...you have to be totally HONEST and open with the person, or you are wasting your time , their time, and the money spent....

Ill never forget a really expensive shrink that i had to go to...i was forced to go but didnt want to be there so i would literally just sit there the whole time...staring at the clock, watching the Dr write things down..give yes or no answers when asked but that was it... I wasn't ready to be honest and open so it was big waste for everyone and everything involved


Hopefully you will feel good about the counselor as a person..have you met him or her yet? Ive had many trust me, and t wasn't till i was in my 30s that i realized that i didnt have to just take some Freudian Dr. i was given..i had the right to search for one i was compatible with, that shared the same belief system i did....

The addiction specialist i saw back then- same thing..i asked up front what their belief system was - asked if they were open to ALL forms of recovery..open to the possibility that there wasn't one way for everyone and that ones personality, belief system etc should be taken into account...

This is SO EXCITING isnt it Elvis?????


Now remember who you are doing this for...YOU....no other reason, but to help YOU figure your life out, hat the next step should be...etc...

Did you get my last email?

We are all rooting for you honey....

Hugs

Ali
Hey Elvis:

I'm fairly new to this forum so I may kind of be out of the loop. I agree with Soulpicnic the tough love is not for everyone. I have issues wth athority (sp?) and have a bad habit of if someone tells me no it's gonna be "you think not? Watch this.) Thats gotten me in more trouble. As far as unlearning popping pills as a coping strategy, you need to replace that habit wiht another healthier habit - for example call your sponsor (if your'e in a 12 step program) and then its just a matter of time to get used to that. Your'e rewards will be great and that will encourage the positve habit. Ask the counsoler for some ideas. Try to blow off the things on the home front right now, don't let it suck you in or take you down. Like I said, I'm new so I don't know your whole story, but it sounds like you're on the right track. For me, right know I have chronic pain issue due to so much nerve damage and 12 operations on my leg. Am I taking them as prescribed? No. Was it an issue (addiction) before the accident? Yes, but I actually had 8 years clean. It makes me optimistic though, to hear your story and to see how dedicated you are to this. Keep it up & good luck with the counsolor. Keep reaching out, you're doing great!
thanks so much to everyone with their positive replies! its something i need to hear right now! it will be an na/aa counsellor, but the only problem is i am on a waiting list of approx 4 weeks! but i am going to folllow it up and make sure i do see someone!!
im trying soooo hard just to take my anti-depressants and vitimin b and nothing else. after taking those "hypnodorms" ive been suffering bad headaches. i have learnt from this experience at least to look up everything before i take it.
its 2.15am here in the morning, its hot and i cant sleep, at times like this i do miss my sleeping pills! lol but dont worry im not going back there either! im trying to cope with the stress on the home front on my own
ali i think i got ur last email?! but i never got the pictures u were gonna send.
im gonna put the fan on in my room and maybe read for a while,i have to get up real early so i guess i should try! i just thought id pop in and update u all!
once again thanks so much for all ur positive thoughts and posts! much appreciated!!!! all my love xoooxoxooxoxooxoox
4 weeks isn't bad. Time will go fast and there's lots you can do in the meantime. Mainly just concentrate on NOT taking any pills that you're not suppose too. You don't need them E. You're done. Hope you got some sleep last night...wish it was hot here. Take care, Lisa
thanks lisa. well its official now, the house is going. and I yes me (who doesnt even own the house) had to decide which agent to go with and get all the papers signed cuz my oh so responsible parents were in the middle of a hissy fit!! neglegent, unfit people they are. for me to have to make that decision i think is terrible, its not my home loan, its not my house but anyway.
now my sister realises its going shes having panick attacks and having to come home from work. im looking at units. apartments. im not plonking myself on my grandparents with all my stuff and i will have to get some help with rent from centrelink while im looking for this new place of mine. i can imagine in wont be what im used to but will have to do, it will just have to. and im not used to living on my own! im scared i really admit it. im scared. i see myself staying at my nans lots of nights lol. at least till i get used to it. my friend has offered to check out places with me which helps getting a second opinion.
im so worried and trying not to show it! the estate agent that is doing our house is this nice young guy and told me he will help me wherever he can. can i really do this all by myself?!?!???! i am scared.
talk soon.
p.s thats another thing, will i be able to get a computer hooked up in this place?!??!!??!!??!!??!?! ............theres always the lilbrary i guess.....im scared....please pray for me! xoxoxoxo
So, does this mean you're going to be living on your own? I think that's wonderful! And hey, so what if you had to do all of that stuff for your parents, just goes to show you that you are capable and can manage on your own with important decisions! I'm proud of you, E! How are you doing otherwise? Staying away from pills and drs? Take care, Lisa
yep cowgirl. i have been too pre occupied and worried with all this other business to think about doctors. the one i have been wondering about is my old psych and whether to go back to him to get alot off my chest. and ive been wondering if ive hopefully progressed in the queue to the addiction psychologist!! i have also applied for a job in my area.......im frightened of what the future holds for me but realise i have to do something for anything to happen!!!
thankyou for saying ur proud of me cowgirl, that means alot! its taken alot out of me lately! i just wonder, how do i go back to the outside world and put on a pretend smile like i used to, when i have all this worry inside about my personal life. who once said to me on here, "fake it until u make it"!!! good quote that! it proves to be very true!!! im just wondering though, really how much more of this crap i can really take till i just explode......i think ive just taken the "responsibility" role cuz ive had to! my parents are like two 2 yr old kids!!!! im finding this hard and its going to get worse before it gets better.....i dont know if i trust myself yet?!
thanks for thinking of me, take care all xooxxoxoxoox
p.s i need a hug (((((((hug)))))))) ta.
(((((((((((((((((((Elvis))))))))))))))

I am one of those who stopped posting to you. My last post said "the physical universe applauds actions not thought"

Well there is significant ACTION Elvis.
It may be due to circumstances with your parents, vbut instead of curling up in a ball and guzzling tons of pills and pulling the blankets over your head - you are taking action.

You'vew booked a counselor, youve applied for a job, you are looking for a place to stay - you've decided NOT to dump yourself on your nan.

Lots of action

The universe will reward you.

Being scared iis okay, I also get scared when my comfort zones get threatened.
But this is when real growth happens.

Keep on doing

calabash
Elvis, sometimes God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

You are doing great, E. Stay positive and keep your mind positive. You will be okay and even better, you will be w/o the abuse of your family.

Good things are coming your way. Just trust the process. I have the utmost faith in you.
Lots of good advice, E. You're in my prayers. This may be the best thing that ever happened although it doesn't seem it. (((((Hugs))))))
{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} For Elvis. I am proud of you, look how far you've come. No more drs, ok? Just stick to making your life better and that means getting out on your own. It's scary, sure, but it can also be exciting. Make it work for you honey.
thanks so much for everyone posts. i admit i have become very hard lately inside. but i am getting some things done and taking some action and i thank all of u for ur positive responses. i think im just getting sick of playing the victim. i want my own power! i am trying! will keep u all updated! im still scared!!! all my luv xoxooxxo

p.s trying to look after ME now, even went to a concert last night!! i admit i am still very depressed though. sorry to end on a downer. xox