My son's 46th birthday is next week. I haven't heard from him for 6 weeks now and I have no idea what he is doing or where he is living. Last we heard from him was when he text us "Merry F***ing Christmas". We did not respond, but sent him a text on New Year's saying--" Praying your New Year is better and you find some peace in your life. We love you".
He never responded.
My question is should we text him Happy Birthday or just let it pass.????
Lori
Yes he needs to know that you no matter what you still love him and think about him. JMO
I would tell him happy birthday.
for me personally would be devastating if my parents wouldnt call for my Birthday bt your situation is different and I understand why you are in 2 inds about this ... send him text send it
I would send a happy birthday text ONLY if you can manage to have absolutely no expectations about what it might lead to. Just be aware that it might be ignored or it could send him into a long datribe filled with curse words and hatred.
If you can send the message without it leading to your emotional undoing, then I would send it. Be prepared that he may decide to take this a sign the door is a jar and you may have to be prepared to tell him that it isn't.
Such a hard and sad place to even have to think about something as simple as a birthday wish to your kids!
If you can send the message without it leading to your emotional undoing, then I would send it. Be prepared that he may decide to take this a sign the door is a jar and you may have to be prepared to tell him that it isn't.
Such a hard and sad place to even have to think about something as simple as a birthday wish to your kids!
Definitely send! My addict would be devastated if he didn't hear from his mom on his birthday.
hey dutchess - I agree with lolleedee. but if you don't say Happy Birthday, he can hold That against you. so you will have to prepare for fallout either way. I would take the higher road and send a text. and be prepared for curse words.... or no response. and then be prepared for a truck payment.... hope for the best....
If you initiate contact...you invite whatever drama that might come with it...if you do it..make absolutely sure your boundaries are in place. ..and think about how it could effect the rest of your family. ..he is not a kid...think about your safety ...and have a plan...don't use your guilt or sadness...your kindness to blind you from the reality...my take is...he'll probably contact you ...remember...this is not the son you knew or want him to be...dont fall for the fantasy in your head again...make sure you can handle it
Lori,
I agree with Con. Make sure you can handle any ramifications of making contact before you do it. Just make sure that you're prepared in case it opens him up to harassing you. If it was my son, I would wish him a happy birthday.
Hugs,
Michelle
I agree with Con. Make sure you can handle any ramifications of making contact before you do it. Just make sure that you're prepared in case it opens him up to harassing you. If it was my son, I would wish him a happy birthday.
Hugs,
Michelle
So hard to know what to do. You are opening that door if only a little. You will need to be prepared for what that brings. Con is so right but a mother's heart is hard to ignore. If he is like my son, adult or not, he will use it to try to get something or tell you off. You can't ever tell it might turn out good or he could ignore it. Maybe he will be in a good mood that day.
