Responding to your posts on the Cocaine board, you have been in the grips of an addict who will say anything and do anything to get what he wants. Just read the posts of others. The same pattern emerges time and time again. Work on your own recovery. Leave him in his chosen misery. You can pick up where you were when your husband died. There are good and decent men out there -- who will treat you with the respect you desire and deserve.
Hello, Bob B.,
Yes, this is what I need to do. This guy has left me messages all this week telling me he misses me, etc., and would like to get together for breakfast tomorrow, Friday. I just can't. He has to be the world's cutest manipulator. He says he has been miserable for the last 2 months. I just can't let him in my house. What else will he steal? He suggested I get a SAFE for my jewelry. Can you believe this?
Yes, this is what I need to do. This guy has left me messages all this week telling me he misses me, etc., and would like to get together for breakfast tomorrow, Friday. I just can't. He has to be the world's cutest manipulator. He says he has been miserable for the last 2 months. I just can't let him in my house. What else will he steal? He suggested I get a SAFE for my jewelry. Can you believe this?
Hello Hardhead and Bob B. I posted a reply to Kali on this board - just wanted to say hello and hope my situation is coming to an end today! Keep being strong hardhead - be a HARDHEAD - lol
I'm rooting for you cajungirl and hh. Helena, read the posts on these boards for the last 12 months if you need to.
Addicts and alcoholics, rather than deciding to "stop at nothing" or "go to any length" to get clean, actually "stop at nothing" and "go to any length" to service their selfish drug habit. Many, because they feed the addiction, are totally incapable of love, feelings or rational thought -- until they detox, which they will not due until their back is totally against the wall and there is no way out of the disasters they create. Give them one ounce of room to away from that wall, and they will use and abuse.
And while they have no control over their drug of choice and the effect it has on them, they try to maintain total control over everyone around them, particularly those that allow themselves to be vulnerable.
Detach. Detach. We must detach. Otherwise, our lives are dead too.
(guess I'm on my soapbox, but I am trying to objectively assess in a brutally honest way -- this is what I've experienced)
But, hey, God is good, all things work towards good and it was a pretty day outside today.
Addicts and alcoholics, rather than deciding to "stop at nothing" or "go to any length" to get clean, actually "stop at nothing" and "go to any length" to service their selfish drug habit. Many, because they feed the addiction, are totally incapable of love, feelings or rational thought -- until they detox, which they will not due until their back is totally against the wall and there is no way out of the disasters they create. Give them one ounce of room to away from that wall, and they will use and abuse.
And while they have no control over their drug of choice and the effect it has on them, they try to maintain total control over everyone around them, particularly those that allow themselves to be vulnerable.
Detach. Detach. We must detach. Otherwise, our lives are dead too.
(guess I'm on my soapbox, but I am trying to objectively assess in a brutally honest way -- this is what I've experienced)
But, hey, God is good, all things work towards good and it was a pretty day outside today.
Thanks, Bob B. - I needed to hear all that. It is so true. My bf that I told to leave yesterday was home when I got there (he gets off work an hour before I do) and just getting out of the shower. I told him I wanted him out today. He got dressed, said he was going to get my things out of pawn and then he would get his clothes and leave.That was the last time I heard from him until 5:15 this morning while he was trying to get in the house. I let him in because I was afraid he was going to break the door in if I didn't. He went on to work. I told him he had a choice, either leave today or I was turning him in (he is on probation). He said he needed to talk to somebody about his problem. He didn't know what to do - he had tried everything. I said you could go to NA or Al anonymous - he's been to that before, but said he didn't think it was for him. Then he called me from his cell phone and said he had talked to a guy at work who suggested he check himself into a hospital for three days and wanted my opinion - I told him I didn't know what he should do - that was was up to him. At this point, I don't care what happens to him - I just want him out of my life.