I was just re-reading posts about online purchasing of pain meds and came to the posts about shopping! Boy, we sure know how to add insult to injury, don't we? We get wasted, then blow money we don't have on stuff we don't need! I thought I was so cool, going to stores and charging whatever I felt like getting.
Thanks for letting me write this, it helps to put it in words as a reminder how humbling this disease is.
Not only would I buy pills online but I'd get looped and shop like I was Paris Hilton. Literally, I'd see her wearing a top in a magazine and then go and buy it. The wreakage of the past, ugh!
Rach
Rach
Yep, I never used to run balances on my credit cards before. Whew...I am still paying them off.
This is a humbling disease...
If I could only have put as much energy into making money as I did trying to function with this disease..lol..
Kerry
This is a humbling disease...
If I could only have put as much energy into making money as I did trying to function with this disease..lol..
Kerry
Betsy, nice to meet you. What is your story? This isn't to embarrass you, but so that we may get to know you better...
Kerry
Kerry
Rach, good to meet you! The Paris Hilton reference made me laugh out loud! I always thought that since I worked so hard, I was entitled to buy whatever I wanted! Clearly pushing out any thoughts of how long it's going to take to pay for all of it.
Let's see: $317 for 500 pain pills online, ordering at least once a month for the past 3 years, that's a whole lotta debt!!!
Let's see: $317 for 500 pain pills online, ordering at least once a month for the past 3 years, that's a whole lotta debt!!!
Hi Kerry,nice to meet you as well!
Been a long-time addict. First in high school with pot & alcohol, then mostly pot in college. I learned that I have no tolerance for alcohol and do not like how it makes me feel. I've had lots of years of sobriety along the way. However, about 12 years ago, I went to a doctor for migraines, and I got started on pain pills. Fiorinol is my DOC, although I've done the following:
-Eaten up my husband's percocets when he hurt his back.
-Drank my kids' codeine when they had their tonsils out.
-Refilled my son's Vicodin Rx when he got his wisdom teeth out and ate them all.
-Refilled my sister's Tylenol #3 Rx (pretended to be her) when she didn't want them anymore.
-Taken a box of Vicodin from the dentist I used to work for.
Man, typing this all out makes me sound awful. Maybe looking at it all in print will aid in my recovery.
Been a long-time addict. First in high school with pot & alcohol, then mostly pot in college. I learned that I have no tolerance for alcohol and do not like how it makes me feel. I've had lots of years of sobriety along the way. However, about 12 years ago, I went to a doctor for migraines, and I got started on pain pills. Fiorinol is my DOC, although I've done the following:
-Eaten up my husband's percocets when he hurt his back.
-Drank my kids' codeine when they had their tonsils out.
-Refilled my son's Vicodin Rx when he got his wisdom teeth out and ate them all.
-Refilled my sister's Tylenol #3 Rx (pretended to be her) when she didn't want them anymore.
-Taken a box of Vicodin from the dentist I used to work for.
Man, typing this all out makes me sound awful. Maybe looking at it all in print will aid in my recovery.
Betsy..you haven't done anything worse than any of us have done. You are not awful, you are an addict. The things I have done still make my face turn red and leave me feeling so uncomfortable. Let's just say I'm not ready to say I love myself in the mirror yet. Takes awhile.
Admitting it is empowering... welcome to the club.
Cowgirl
Admitting it is empowering... welcome to the club.
Cowgirl
hi Betsy.. Im an addicted mom to......uuggh.....how are you tonight?
limbo girl
limbo girl
Hey LimboGirl & CowGirl-
I'm Ok tonight. I made a plan to taper, since I heard getting off as many barbiturates as I take (20+ per day) can cause seizures. That's not something I want my teenagers to see me having!
Today I had 15 pills. I exercised, and I didn't beat myself up for having a dilly bar!
I was actually in AA about 25 years ago (for pot, not alcohol) and I remember quite a bit from the program. One thing that stands out is don't try to quit more than one thing at a time. So the diet can wait until I'm clean!
So anyway, I plan on having 15 pills per day this week, then next week, going down to 12, then 10, etc.
I've tried tapering before with no success (big surprise there!) but I feel better about it this time because of this message board.
I'm Ok tonight. I made a plan to taper, since I heard getting off as many barbiturates as I take (20+ per day) can cause seizures. That's not something I want my teenagers to see me having!
Today I had 15 pills. I exercised, and I didn't beat myself up for having a dilly bar!
I was actually in AA about 25 years ago (for pot, not alcohol) and I remember quite a bit from the program. One thing that stands out is don't try to quit more than one thing at a time. So the diet can wait until I'm clean!
So anyway, I plan on having 15 pills per day this week, then next week, going down to 12, then 10, etc.
I've tried tapering before with no success (big surprise there!) but I feel better about it this time because of this message board.
Betsy:
I figure my habit was at $60.00 a day, yikes.
R
I figure my habit was at $60.00 a day, yikes.
R
Sorry, but I'm not a big proponent of tapering. To me, it's just prolonging the inevitable.
But, what works for some, won't work for others. You have to do what's right for you. Although you said, it didn't work before....
I don't do diets either..lol. Too much wasted effort. Of course, now that I'm clean, I'm healthy so I don't have to worry about it anymore.
Glad your doing better tonight.
Cowgirl
But, what works for some, won't work for others. You have to do what's right for you. Although you said, it didn't work before....
I don't do diets either..lol. Too much wasted effort. Of course, now that I'm clean, I'm healthy so I don't have to worry about it anymore.
Glad your doing better tonight.
Cowgirl
HI Addictedmom...do you still have migranes? I had unimaginable headaches that completely wiped me out was what got me started on narcotics......I had a headache more often then not.....do you know that narcotics give you a rebound headache? I had sinus surgery and it helped alot but I still was having migranes and I detoxed with the help of a doctor and I havent had a bad headache in 4 months...for me that is a miracle...love limbo girl
Cowgirl, how long have you been clean? Good for you ,its always so encouraging to know others have fought the battle and one! Congrats!love limbo girl
Hi Limbo!
Yes, I still have tons of headaches, but I know they are mostly rebound. I only have TRUE migraines when my sleep patterns are goofed up, or I'm under severe stress. I still have to go to the walk-in clinic about 4 or 5 times a year when no pills will help. They don't give you Demerol anymore, but will inject you with Toradol, a high-class Advil. It helps me and doesn't make me stoned.
Yes, I still have tons of headaches, but I know they are mostly rebound. I only have TRUE migraines when my sleep patterns are goofed up, or I'm under severe stress. I still have to go to the walk-in clinic about 4 or 5 times a year when no pills will help. They don't give you Demerol anymore, but will inject you with Toradol, a high-class Advil. It helps me and doesn't make me stoned.
8 months. Hard won, still a hell of a battle.
How about you? How are things for you now?
How about you? How are things for you now?
Rachel, are you clean now? How long?
Good night everyone. It's almost 1:00 am here in Packer Country!
Addictedmom...my heart goes out to you..I know all pain sucks...but man a migrane is just horrible...when I finally could go to sleep, when I woke up I would be surprised I was alive sometimes,thinking my brain would burst! thats great you going to taper...from hearing the way dr's have people do it, they do it slowly...does your dr know you need help? I went to a different dr to get help because I was embarressed..just dont be to hard on yourself and good luck! limbo girl
HI Cowgirl..8 months is great! Sept 4, 2004 was my last day of narcotics...lately I have been craving a high...I go to counsling, at first every week,then 2 weeks, now 1 time a month..Im seriously considering meetings...because I need someone who is drug free in my life...do you go? I never want to get back in the traps of pills...it seems like everyone is addicted to something...I gave up my old friends and I dont know anyone who is drug or alcohol free...I think I need the meetings..love limbo
Sorry Limbo girl..I went to bed.
Yes, I do go to meetings and I have a sponsor. She's the sober, clean person in my life. I personally feel that without these meetings and support, I would not have 8 months. Every other way that I've tried to do it, has not worked. And I've been trying to do this for 25 years.
Hope you have a good day..
Cowgirl
Yes, I do go to meetings and I have a sponsor. She's the sober, clean person in my life. I personally feel that without these meetings and support, I would not have 8 months. Every other way that I've tried to do it, has not worked. And I've been trying to do this for 25 years.
Hope you have a good day..
Cowgirl