To Laura

i was,up until a week ago going through the same thing. i work as a waitress and support three kids by myself. my bf wont work and is addicted to crack(not a good combo) he would steal all my money for crack. I couldnt pay rent and would be the only one thinking about what will i do if... wel the best thing i did was leave. it was hard but i had to. when it got to where he was taking from my kids i was done. i will always love him but its not him there anymore is crack. i cant change him and i dont think you can change yours. they have to do it them selves. all we can do is be there. that doesnt mean we have to help them get it. only you can decide when your through with it and then youll know what to do. i can tell you i am happier now than i have been in years. yes i still love him but i will not loose everything for his drugs. you shouldnt either. you deserve to live. i know that living with an addict makes you miserable. i felt like i wasnt alive i just existed. when the drug took over icouldnt feel anything and i wasnt even doing it. there was no attention or fun because all he had time for was crack. i became an ATM and felt used. take your life and live it dont let it get to where you just exist. its hard to walk away but it gets easier everyday.
thanks stronger now, my situation is really complicated, married 15 yrs this fall, good provider, we don't do without,i keep me and the kids really busy doing sports. son is great ballplayer w/ scouts in the future, daughtet is exceling as well, we go on, if he's here o.k. if not o.k i feel i've got to much time and energy to focus on the kids, to be truthful i need his income for the children to get all they deserve, don't get me wrong i love this man, he's great except for this addiction, he's coached every sport, etc, blah blha, blha, but he still uses.
i wonder though if someone o=doesn't care about themselves and the consequences that can happen how can he really love us, to him if the money is there for us, what;s the harm of him getting high, i think he is unhappy and fooling himself,
laura
hi! well with my bf it started small. it seemed fine then he got addicted. not trying to make excuses, but when crack gets a hold of some one it a death grip. it went from 20 dollars to hundreds. he used to do it once in a while now if he doesnt have it every night he shakes,gets sick, has terrible mood swings, and it tears me up. im not saying that your husbund is or will get to this point but i saw what it did to mine. hes not even there anymore. hes a drug. i couldnt save him from that because that was his choice. i know leaving him was for the best. it might make him see. i guess ill find that out soon enough.